Bad Apple: Eating Disorders Poetry

Warning: Poem may be triggering

Bad Apple

 

This poem is not about how I beat anorexia.

I wish I could write that poem

I always liked clean breaks and happy endings

But this is not a happy ending.

This is real.

 

I’ve done what I can

keeping up appearances

The good girl

The smart one

I’ve done a damn good job, don’t you think?

And I know you want your little girl back

And I wish I could give you that too.

 

But I am not a bad apple

You can’t cut out the rotten bits

This is not burnt toast

You can’t scrape this off

Or hide it with butter

Or throw it away and make a new slice

This is not a cherry pit

You can’t just eat around it

There are no devils or angels fighting on my shoulders

I am the devil

I’m the angel too.

 

All I can do is swallow this bad apple whole

Savor it bite by mushy brown bite

And maybe one day I’ll be just like I used to be

And maybe I won’t

So do you want a taste or not?

 

by: Anonymous 

 

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picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/laureenp/5598717402/in/photostream/