Morning Ritual: Eating Disorder and Body Image Poetry

I brush my teeth
head dipped
staring at
the toothpaste trail

so that I cannot see you

I fill my head
with humming
a mental tally of chores
counting numbers

to drown out your voice

I sidestep your duplicate
in the hallway
and the bedroom
as I get ready

you whisper of my imperfection

a soft buzz
a glimpse
I pretend I do not hear
I pretend I do not see

.... I pretend I am not her

anonymous

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PURGE: Eating Disorders Poetry

Purge

Pain devours my judgment.
Unsatisfied it consumes my spirit.
My heart lay torn
All the threads of time
Will never make me whole again.

My eyes scream for mercy.
But my shallow breath
Gets caught in my throat-
Choking all that is left of me.

Tears stain battered soul.
As I long for forgiveness
The evil in me strikes.
Naked and bruised
It has finally stolen the last of my strength.

My worn and crippled body waits.
Sweet starvation softens the ache
Until torture rots my veins.
My enemy. Myself.
I beg you to stop.
Let go.

Yet I cling to you.
My disorder- my comfort.
You take me as your victim,
Smirk at my weakness.
Removing my identity until all that remains
is the outline of everything I used to be.

Beautiful. Thin. Free.

Lost and judged
I suffer on my own.
Tainted by obsession
Wounds masked by smiles.
You wouldn’t understand.

Nowhere else to turn, I depend on You.
Always faithful and always present.
Forever linked to me like a bad dream.
Please, God, wake me up.
I’d die to know how life feels.
written by: Anonymous

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Eating Disorder Poetry: TRAPPED

Trapped

My body is trapped in this mind

I try to break free, with fragile arms

No match for the burden of

This madness, sadness

That is heavy

So

Heavy

My mind is trapped in this body

Stagnant thoughts long to break out

To be strong, to step off this painful record

that just won’t

Stop

Spinning

My song is trapped in this mind

Why now does it just sound

Like noise, static. It screeches,

Incessantly, urgently. Where is

My

Voice?

My love is trapped in this body

Somewhere, hiding, beneath this

Cold, callous shell. Oh, it’s real –

Delicate, vulnerable, and trapped

So

Trapped.

Written by: Bethany

of U of I Free People

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Eating: An Eating Disorder Poem

Eating

nibbling at my nerves

picking at my priorities

licking away my laughter

feeding off my fear

gulping down my growth

consuming my confidence

and...

swallowing my self

by: anonymous

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Snow: The Value Of Listening To Your Heart

Snow
The value of listening to your heart.... ...rather than an eating disordered head.

If I hadn’t ignored my head then I wouldn’t have seen the snow, shimmering and sparkling in the early morning sunlight.

And if I had, as it commanded, stuck to the weekly regime and gone swimming; then I would have missed being the first to walk through the unmarked snowfall, spraying glitter in my wake and leaving a dance of footprints behind me.

If I had given in to the demand to justify and earn every mouthful, then I would have been lapping up and down an empty pool while the sun was working its magic over the snowswept fields; and, against the diamond white backdrop, the colours and shadows became breathtaking.

And, if I had listened to my often overpowering head – rather than my often overpowered heart; then I might not have noticed how beautiful the world can be, and how much fun there is in the smallest pleasures –

Like a twirling whirling flake of snow.

Written by: Finding Melissa

She says: "An eating disorder is a gradual erosion. It’s a chip chip chipping away. A slow, insidious takeover that removes all traces of an individual, erases all suggestion of an identity, dominates thoughts, actions, feelings….and articulates one devastating message: 'without me, you are nothing'…..It is a lie. You’ve just got a bit lost along the way.

Be sure to visit Melissa's wonderful site: Finding Melissa

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The Vortex: ED Poetry and Writings

The Vortex

The delicious hunger
fills me up with hollowness
and pleasurable pangs,
confusion centers my mind and
dizziness gives me strength.
Eat my feast of salad and
daintily slam a gallon of water,
oops to much, better pay homage
to my god and sacrifice my meal.
So weak after my offering,
I had better run a mile.
Aching knees tell me
that I'm winning this game.
Up all night pacing with
wild thoughts and jitters
sleep is for the weak.
Throat so raw I can
hardly speak, silence
is my ally and works
better than the lies.

by: Tara Lundberg

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Invasion Of The Body Snatchers: ED Poems And Writings

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Please ignore the aliens

They are taking over my brain

Impulses come and Impulses go

Hoping that my soul will still remain.

My soul is slowly dying

Remembering my past

The life and love I hold within

If only they would last.

The aliens within

Strip me of my Hope,

My Smile, My Strength, My Determination

I forget the tools to cope.

I know that I am worth the fight

I don’t like to admit

I can not do this on my own

As I reach up from this pit.

This pit of isolation

Desperation and Despair

I want to find my inner strength

To grow and become aware.

Aware of possibilities,

A life where I am free

Free to Learn, Love and Live

A life where I can see.

My truth that comes from within

I can see my outer strength

Strength to reach out, for your support

I will go to any length.

You are stronger, than this monster

That works to control my brain

With your hand, support and truth,

My soul will still remain.

By: Mary Pat Nally

http://angeloflight08.wordpress.com/

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A Letter To My Body: ED Poetry And Writings

A Letter To My Body

Dear Body,

I can find nothing about you

to celebrate
besides my children
and it hurts.
Your betrayal haunts me,
and all of the rage that I feel
is taken out on you.
My silent hunger screams
inside of your skin,
but no matter how empty,
the heavy weight of you
will not let go.
You only remind me to feel ashamed.
Touched and taken with such hate
that I find it hard to love you,
and for that, I am truly sorry.
You have nothing to apologize for.
You should not have to ask
for permission to exist.
I'm still learning to let you
take up the space that you deserve.
The fullness and discomfort that I feel
makes me want to crawl out from under you,
but I will try to stay until...
you become a part of me.

By: Angela Minard

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Read more about Angela Minard: Conversations With Claudia, The Voice Of An Eating Disorder

Be sure to visit Angela Minard's blog: Here and Now ~*~ 4 Angel "Poetry and thoughts on my journey toward healing and unlocking the silence within. Words are magic. Words have the power to heal, so find your voice, and fly!"


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