Eating Disorders Bloggers: What Some Are Discussing This Month

Natasha's Story: "I Was Raised Thinking I Had No Worth, No Place In This World."
Medusa

Hi Medusa,
My name is Natasha and I am 18 years old. When I think about my life, I'm never really sure when exactly I started hating myself. I had suicidal thoughts when I was around 9 years old. I was raised thinking I had no worth, no place in this world. My stepmother starved me, beat me, and ridiculed me daily.
Read in full: Natasha's Story



Being Rational
ED Bites

Although I've never experienced a full-blown psychotic episode, I found myself nodding my head in agreement with this neuroscientist's description of her own psychosis.

"Erin, you are a scientist," they'd begin. "You are intelligent, rational. Tell me, then, how can you believe that there are rats inside your brain? They're just plain too big. Besides, how could they get in?"

They were right. About my being smart, I mean; I was, after all, a graduate student in the neuroscience program at the University of British Columbia. But how could they relate that rationality to the logic of the Deep Meaning? For it was due to the Deep Meaning that the rats had infiltrated my system and were inhabiting my brain. They gnawed relentlessly on my neurons, causing massive degeneration. This was particularly upsetting to me, as I depended on a sharp mind for my work in neuroscience.

The rats spent significant periods of time consuming brain matter in the occipital lobe of my brain. I knew, from my studies, that this was the primary visual cortex. And yet, I experienced no visual deficits. Obviously, I realized, I had a very unique brain: I was able to regenerate large sections of my central nervous system—and to do so extremely quickly. I relaxed a bit, but not entirely. Surely no good could come of having rats feed on my brain cells. So I sought means of ridding my body of them. I bled them out through self-cutting and banging my head until the skin broke, bloody. Continually, I kept my brain active, electrocuting the rats that happened to be feasting on the activated neurons.   
Read in full: Being Rational



Don't You Realize That Fat Is Unhealthy?
Shapely Prose

Here’s the thing: I blog about fat acceptance.
Fat acceptance, as you can probably guess from the words “fat” and “acceptance” being right together like that, does not go over so well in some circles. Even in some progressive circles — which are usually known for not hating entire groups of people because of their appearances, not thinking what other people do with their bodies is anybody’s beeswax, and not uncritically accepting whatever moral panic the media tries to whip up, but wev. Fat is different! Don’t you know there’s an obesity epidemic? Don’t you know that fat kills? Haven’t you ever heard of Type 2 diabetes? Don’t you realize how much money this is going to cost society down the line? Won’t someone please think of the children?

So, before I start getting comments like that, I want to lay out ten principles that underlie pretty much everything I write about fat and health.

1. Weight itself is not a health problem, except in the most extreme cases (i.e., being underweight or so fat you’re immobilized). In fact, fat people live longer than thin people and are more likely to survive cardiac events, and some studies have shown that fat can protect against “infections, cancer, lung disease, heart disease, osteoporosis, anemia, high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis and type 2 diabetes.” Yeah, you read that right: even the goddamned diabetes. Now, I’m not saying we should all go out and get fat for our health (which we wouldn’t be able to do anyway, because no one knows how to make a naturally thin person fat any more than they know how to make a naturally fat person thin; see point 4), but I’m definitely saying obesity research is turning up surprising information all the time — much of which goes ignored by the media — and people who give a damn about critical thinking would be foolish to accept the party line on fat. Just because you’ve heard over and over and over that fat! kills! doesn’t mean it’s true. It just means that people in this culture really love saying it.
Read in full: Don't You Realize...



Eating Disorder Recovery: From Inpatient Treatment To Life
Margarita Tartakovsky

I’m thrilled to publish today’s guest post by Elizabeth Short. Just recently Elizabeth shared her story of recovery and resiliency here at Weightless (part 1 and part 2). Currently, she’s a Masters student in Counseling at The University of New Orleans, and writes the blog Fiding Hope.. Elizabeth is also in the process of  writing a memoir about her recovery. I love that Elizabeth is reaching out to others with her positive and hopeful message, and I love her guest post. It’s raw, insightful, brave and beautifully written. Plus, it offers really valuable advice. And I can’t say enough great things about it. I’m so grateful to her for sharing this with us.

Inpatient treatment for eating disorders:  Locked bathrooms.  Staff watching your every move, including time in the bathroom.  Meals and snacks are closely monitored.  No shoelaces, tweezers, coffee, gum or mouthwash.  6 a.m. weigh-ins.  Room searches.  Individual and/or group therapy all day long.

Sounds a little like prison to some, but for me, it was safety.  It meant I couldn’t restrict my intake or purge after eating.   I couldn’t use laxatives or diet pills.  I couldn’t weigh myself 50 times a day. I couldn’t stay isolated in my house for days at a time.
Read in full: From Inpatient Treatment To Life



Watch It
Happy Bodies

The other night, when refusing a second helping at a dinner party, a guy said: “None for me, I’m watching my figure.”

We all laughed.

What a silly thought, a guy, who’s young and looks fit, dieting? Ridiculous. And yet this is just expected for so many people. So often people who are read as fat (and therefore automatically unhealthy) are subjected to judgements and unwanted advice: if you only ate a little less, worked out a little more, watched your figure, you could look young and fit too!

This comment struck me particularly because I’m reading two book right now (by white men) where major female characters are made into joke figures because of their weight. While the eating habits and fitness of other characters are not chronicled, paragraphs are dedicated to Lizzyboo stopping for ice cream before dinner and every time Vera moves across a scene her jiggles or heavy breathing are remarked upon. The joke is not just fat = funny (which it isn’t) but also how stupid these women are! If she didn’t have those extra snacks she wouldn’t be such a fattie! Silly Vera, always going on binges after diets and gaining the weight back. They make it character flaw that they are fat. A flaw that they don’t know how to properly watch their figures.

A study came out recently that reported that when Forty dietetics and health promotion students enrolled in a university obesity course followed a a calorie restricted diet (1,200 calories for women and 1,500 calories for men) for just one week their was a significant change in their fat-phobias. It makes sense that once these future dietitians and health professionals realized how high the expectations were of their fat patients they would become more sympathetic. It so easy to look at someone else and think you know what is best for them, but in actuality, individuals are in the best position to make choices about their lives and bodies. Even doctors trained to take care of our health can be subject to fat-phobia, and take it out on their patients.
Read in full: Watch It 


 Reboot
Defining Wellness 

I’m proud to say I’m an optimist. Even when I’m feeling stressed, anxious or upset, and even when I’ve felt so low that I couldn’t summon the strength to get out of bed, there’s always been that voice inside of me that says, “It WILL get better. There IS hope.”
And I don’t just feel that hope for myself. I feel that hope for anyone who needs it. I believe that we all have the power to be thankful for what we have even in the midst of sadness, to take the necessary steps to make life better.
But even with this optimistic attitude, there are times when I get in a funk. I wake up and feel anxious and think, “Huh, where’d that come from?” Or I get in some kind of existential rut and I obsess about my place in the world. Or eating disorder symptoms re-emerge and I think, “You again? I thought I folded you up, packed you in a box, and buried you in a bottomless pit.”
It’s at times like these that I use that optimistic energy within me to reboot.
In a recent post, I discussed my desire to plan less . . . do more . . . NOW.
When I get in a funk, that’s half of the solution. Stop thinking about everything that’s going wrong and start living.
Read in full: Reboot



sources linked above

Seen Around The Web: What Other's Are Saying About Eating Disorders

The Voice of an Eating Disorder & 7 Ways to Shut It Up
By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

One of the toughest parts of recovery for many people is separating themselves from their eating disorder and, more specifically, hearing their own voice, not the mean, manipulative, vicious, callous voice of ED.

Andrea Roe talked about the ED voice in her Q&A last week. Andrea said:

One of the biggest aha moments during my recovery process was really getting and feeling that I was not my eating disorder. For the longest time, it actually felt like I was my eating disorder and my eating disorder was me. It felt like “it” was my identity. I didn’t know who I was without it. I had forgotten.

And whenever I heard the voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough, needed to lose weight, etc. … I’d ask myself if that was the “real me” that was talking, or if it was the eating disorder speaking to me. I had to learn to separate these two voices — mine and the eating disorder voice. And when it was the eating disorder talking, I had to learn to fight back, talk back and disobey its commands. I had to learn to take control back over my life — after all, it was MY life, not the eating disorder’s.

Trying to drown out the voice of ED also resonated with several readers.
Read The Voice of an Eating Disorder & 7 Ways to Shut It Up in full here.

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You Are Not Alone

Eating Disorder Awareness Week is coming to a close, and I've been trying to post related things all week (though I guess one could argue my whole blog is related). Today, I'd like to share with you a neat little site that was brought to my attention by a friend.

It's called You Are Not Alone and basically you can sign up to get a free support letter every month to give you encouragement on your path to recovery. It's sort of what I try to do here on my blog much more often than once a month, but this site is cool because it's an actual letter, sent to your email on a monthly basis. Every little bit of support helps, right?

Read You Are Not Alone in full here

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Eating Disorders And Body Image Advocates And Why They Blog

As part of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I'd like to introduce you to some Eating Disorder and Body Image Advocates who blog. Some you may already know. Some may be new to you. Whether you are personally struggling with an eating disorder or body image issue, or love someone who is, these blogs are wonderful resources of information and support.

This is the first post in what I plan to be an ongoing feature.
They are listed in no particular order. Click the titles to visit their blogs.


Weightless with Margarita Tartakovsky MS

I blog at Weightless for many reasons. I blog because I strive to be an empowering voice of reason in our warped, weight-focused culture. So many of us struggle with poor body image, the diet mentality and disordered eating. I hope to help others improve their body images, befriend their bodies and learn to take better care of themselves. It might sound cliché or cheesy (or both :)), but I hope to spread the message that every body, shape, size and silhouette is beautiful and worthy of respect, love and care. That’s a fact!

I blog because I’d like to spread awareness and accurate information about eating disorders, helping to share other women’s stories, to show people that you are not alone and you don’t have to be ashamed. With the right tools and treatment, recovery is possible. If these individuals can do it, after suffering from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, drinking, deep insecurities and other issues, so can you. We are all strong.

I blog because I hope to empower others to challenge the media and the thin ideal, and to help them focus on health, not weight. I also genuinely enjoy connecting with readers, bloggers, authors and health professionals, who generously and courageously share their stories, become advocates, conduct research and do great work to help others. Together we contribute our voices to an essential dialogue. Plus, I love the creativity, release and inspiration that blogging brings. I’m constantly learning, which keeps me on my toes and is really fun.

Ultimately, with Weightless, I hope to provide readers with some insight, inspiration and food for thought.

Actively Arielle: A Voice With A Commitment

I am a woman with a story, a voice, and a commitment. I struggled with anorexia for years and now consider myself recovered. I am dedicated to helping others in the best way I know how: my writing. Writing helped me on my way to recovery and I have a sincere passion to be, at the very least, an understanding voice amid the pain of eating disorders and all that they bring.

I've never been happier, so I know that health--mental, physical, and emotional--is possible. I'm an ANAD Eating Disorder Support Group Leader in the Lehigh Valley (PA) area. I have a goal, and that goal is to share, care, and write the words that make sense. On my blog I seek to turn tears to words in an effort to heal, share, and help in the simplest of ways.

There is life beyond an Eating Disorder; I have found it. But I still know and feel the pain and suffering eating disorders carry with them. I can't forget, but I can write. Every day It is there--that terrifying It that tries to get a hold of so many others. Sometimes It succeeds, sometimes It does not. But words are tools. Turning tears to words is where it starts.

Finding Melissa

Writing an ED related blog was not something I ever anticipated, particularly as I have always been totally adverse to “telling my story”; however, after handing over more than half my life to anorexia bulimia, it was impossible to walk away without attempting to convert my experiences into something more positive.

Finding Melissa was born during a night when I thought I’d die, and realized that I needed to find a way of capturing – and then separating myself from – my eating disorder. It grew from the realization that myexperiences weren’t just mine, and that I might be able to help others through my words.

Finding Melissa is the story of losing an eating disorder and gaining an identity; and, whilst it’s contextualized in my story, it’s very much about making sense of the eating disorder experience and working through the process of re-building a life.

Eating disorders don’t just affect people on a physical level or in relation to food: the effects are often far wider. My site, therefore, explores the many different factors in play, from social to cultural, the media to growing up, body image to just being human, with the hope that by opening up a debate around these areas, people will begin to explore their own experiences and assumptions, and be able to piece together their story – and their recovery.

The interesting thing about this discussion is that many of the issues aren’t specific to eating disorders: the manifestation of eating disorders may differ, but often the feelings and contexts can be related to. This is key to helping people indirectly affected my eating disorders to understand what their loved ones may be going through; so, I’m hoping that Finding Melissa will help to improve perceptions of eating disorders, as well as helping people struggling with many of the issues that it explores.

ED Bites: Carrie Arnold

I started ED Bites over three years ago. I started the blog as a chronicle of my recovery from anorexia, and because I realized that much of what people knew about eating disorders was incomplete. Eating disorders aren't just a "control" issue, they're not about wanting to look like skinny models--they're a profound mental illness. And as I came to grasp both the "mental illness" aspect of anorexia, and its biological basis, I began to understand why it was so hard for me and others like me to break free from the stranglehold of an eating disorder.

Without this understanding, I was mired in self-blame as I tried to understand why I had gotten sick and why I couldn't seem to get better. But the more I read and researched, the more I learned to forgive myself and move forward. At ED Bites, I try to combine the latest scientific research on eating disorders with my personal experiences recovering from a long-term eating disorder.

Medusa

Horrified at the rampant rise in eating disorders and the pro-ana movement, a few years ago I began blogging about the deadly consequences of EDs, primarily through pictures which showed the stark reality of anorexia and bulimia.

Recently, I began to feature stories submitted by readers who are struggling with or recovered from EDs. I also post about celebrities, the fashion industry and magazines (especially their love of photo-shopping), and the diet industry…and how the blame for the current warped idea of the body ideal often lies squarely at their feet.

Blogging about EDs is a passion of mine, and if only one person is affected by a picture or a post on my blog which makes them think twice about purging or restricting, it will all be worthwhile.


Feed Me: Harriet Brown

I'm a journalist who's always had an interest in women's issues. And as we know, eating disorders are largely (though not entirely) women's issues. I've also always had an interest in writing about food and body image. My older daughter became ill with anorexia when she was 14, and I wound up doing a lot of research about it and writing articles about it for the New York Times and other publications. I just finished a book about anorexia, called BRAVE GIRL EATING, which will be published this fall.

I guess you could say I blog about these things because I think most people (including doctors and medical people) misunderstand the fundamental nature of eating disorders. They see them as diseases of "choice" rather than diseases of genetics and other inborn factors, and that affects the way EDs are treated. I would like to help change the way EDs are treated. Current rates of recovery are unacceptably low, and there's way too much ineffective and even harmful treatment out there. So I'm also a supporter of evidence-based treatments, of which there are very few.


Another Piece Of Cake: for women who refuse to live by numbers

I am five years in recovery from an eating disorder (ED-NOS) and my experience has opened my eyes to a new way of living. Participating in recovery from my eating disorder allowed me to pursue getting my master's degree in expressive therapies and to pursue the passions I love, like theater and writing. I currently work as a mental health clinician, and work with a range of populations including eating disorders, substance abuse and trauma.

Why do I blog? For a number of reasons. First, I believe there is a large amount of shame attached to this disease, and by sharing my story, I wish to lessen that amount and allow others to have a "me too!" moment. Second, I believe that the media bombards us with so much unhealthy information we tend to forget we do not have to think of our bodies and our esteem in a negative way. Third, I'm simply hoping to raise awareness about a disorder the general public seems to know little about. And I look forward to the journey ahead!


Happy Bodies

This project began in early 2009 when we began to talk about bodies. We wanted to talk about our own: what they look like, what they do, what we think about them. And we wanted to talk about all our bodies: health and positivity, discrimination, sexual violence, and power. We wanted a space to talk about bodies. So, here we are.

Are You Eating With Your Anorexic: Laura Collins

I blog to allow myself to respond to the world’s news and my own observations in an immediate way. I love the way I can be part of an ongoing conversation among my allies and with those with whom I do not agree. I like the way blogs link to one another and to the news and to changing thinking and ideas. I think of the blog as a place parents might find, and feel heard and less alone.

Voice In Recovery: Kendra Sebelius

So why did I start Voice In Recovery? I started it because there were a lot of memoirs out there, there are a lot of pro-ed sites, but the voices I felt I needed and wanted to hear were those in recovery. Recovery is such a dynamic process, very different for each individual. But I didn’t seem to find those voices when I was in desperate need of help. I felt the support being given and given by myself were those struggling in their disorders and that was hard. I wanted to create a place where voices could be heard, stories could be shared, and journeys could be shown to the world. I didn't know what recovery looked like, felt like. I find many people coming to me asking about recovery – feelings the struggles are hard, that recovery includes a lot of the thought processes we had in the disorder. Am I doing enough, am I far enough on this journey, am I doing it right? I have started this journey because I believe recovery is not black and white. I believe it is hard, but hope is possible. I believe there is no right or wrong way. I believe the journey is more important than the end result. I try not to get wrapped up in the thinking that because I struggle or have a bad day – that I am not making large strides in my life. I also feel I am living an authentic life, I no longer feel torn in what I do. I have days where I question my voice – but never its honesty. I wanted to start Voice in Recovery to provide a safe place for people to share their recovery stories. To find hope, and find solace in the journey. I want to provide to others what I did not find when I went looking. If I can help just one person either find their voice, or understand that recovery is possible, and that although there are struggles – there is hope in the process.

I have made it out of a very long tunnel where I should have died more than once. I made it out struggling a lot on my own, alone, and while this is my own path – I hope to create a safer, more open environment for people to not feel alone, and find friends, support, treatments that will work for them. I use my page to focus on integration – of research, treatments, news stories, recovery stories, etc. I think there are a lot of diverse voices out there – and I hope to find a way to dispel myths, break stigmas, and show that eating disorders are diverse by nature, and recovery is as well.

In the end that is what recovery is to me. Its about living. Finding a way to live authentically, live with passion, and helping others. That is my goal in life. This is my journey. continued

Our Beauty Struggles

I started blogging the beginning September 2009 for a graduation project. Which is basically a project you have to do your 12th grade year of high school to graduate. So immediately I knew I wanted to do something to raise awareness to eating disorders.

Every little girl wants to be beautiful and looked at like a princess, and I had just that as a child. My dad treated me like the most beautiful little girl alive and I think growing up and looking at magazines my mind slowly started thinking "I'm not the most beautiful anything. I need to work on it." Which is how I started having developing a lot of eating disorder tendencies. I would count calories, work out excursively, not eat enough food and eventually it turned into my obsession. To the point were I became a vegan just so i could restrict myself from all the very fattening foods, and I lost a lot of weight in just two months, I also lost a lot of my hair because of how how little proteins I would get in my day. Even though I was thin I was miserable, I was never happy with what I looked like if anything I had grown so much more unhappy. I was ruining my life all by myself.

I ended up losing a great friend of mine and that was my wake up call. I think it is impossible for someone who has gone through an eating disorder, depression, or low self esteem not to advocate about it in some day and to feel this urgency to help others. Thankfully my web site is doing really well and it has become such a huge part of me.


picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/safetylast/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Eating Disorders: Seen Around The Web

Why It’s Time to Change Our Thinking About Weight: A Q&A with Linda Bacon

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Fat is vilified in our culture. That, unfortunately, is a fact. We think that weight loss will lead to many a splendid thing, including health and success. We think diet and lots of exercise will help us lose weight and maintain it. We’re always on the lookout for the next secret to weight loss, some pill, supplement, new workout craze, anything that’ll bring us closer to reaching our goal.

But there’s a reality that we rarely hear about that seems overshadowed by shows like The Biggest Loser, which illustrate big losses, and media attention, fear and unhelpful regulations about the obesity epidemic. Schools ban cupcakes while grocery stores reward thinner employees. Our assumption of larger bodies being unhealthy is deeply ingrained.

That’s why I’m so thrilled to present part one of my interview with Linda Bacon, Ph.D, author of Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight, a book that reveals the reality behind weight loss and dieting. Linda is a nutrition professor and researcher in the Biology Department at City College of San Francisco. She’s also part of a movement called Health At Every Size, which emphasizes health, not weight. It doesn’t demonize fat and it doesn’t encourage weight loss. Instead, it encourages honoring and listening to our bodies, moving our bodies and eating in a flexible way.

Below is part one of my eye-opening interview with Linda, where she presents solid research about the many, many weight-loss misconceptions that we accept every day as facts.

1. Q: Can you talk about some of the biggest misconceptions about weight loss and the so-called obesity epidemic?

Read Q &A in full here.

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Toxic Levels Of Self-Hate

Melissa Groman LCSW /Hope Forward

....There are, I think, a thousand possible causes of eating disorders. And there are a thousand cures. There is no one explanation, and no one path to recovery. We can rage at culture, analyze family dynamics, hang our hopes on genetic markers. Each story is uniquely crafted by biology, experience, environment and development. But this much I know to be true, each person that I have ever worked with who has an eating disorder suffers from toxic levels of self hate. Sometimes its obvious, and sometimes its swimming around like a shark just below the surface.

Read in full here.

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Question #16: Forbidden Foods & What It's Really About

Actively Arielle: A Voice With A Commitment

"In these years of anorexia, I've stopped eating a lot of different foods (most of them, except fruits, vegetables, yogurt and meat), and some of the foods I've stopped eating, they have become some kind of 'forbidden': I still can't eat some of them (such as pizza, ice-cream, hamburgers, wrustel, etc...), while I eat hardly some others... So, I wanted to ask you: have you lived something similar? If yes, have you solved the problem, or are there 'forbidden' food to you, right now? Moreover: how did you solve this problem? How can you resist to put out again some foods from your nutrition?" It may surprise you to know that I have no "forbidden" foods. I also have no "safe" foods. I eat everything, and I do mean everything. I'm not even a picky eater. There are a few foods I naturally dislike like creamed corn, french onion soup, and scallops, but I've disliked them since childhood. Other than those and a very few others, I eat anything and everything. When I was dealing with my anorexia...

Read in full here.

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What The Eating Disorder World Wants Mrs. Obama To Know

Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh /The Huffington Post

In the eating disorders world, putting any child on a diet is not only unacceptable but appalling.

In the eating disorders world, a father referring to his child as "chubby" and commenting on her eating habits is not only frowned upon it is reviled.

In the eating disorder world a mother who felt her children were "perfect" should not be corrected by a doctor who points to the children's weight as altering that.

In the eating disorders world it is well-known and embraced that healthy children rapidly gain weight as they approach puberty.

Read in full here.

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Dove and Diversity: Not Just For Women

Sharon Haywood

Ads for cars, beer, and action movies typically dominate the costly airtime during Super Bowl. But during The Big Game of 2006, it wasn’t another Bud Light commercial that captivated viewers. Instead, the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty reached an estimated 90.7 million football fans via a 45-second spot that promoted Dove’s Self-Esteem Fund. Dove's manufacturer, Unilever, created the hard-hitting video, True Colors, enlightening the audience—many of them parents—to the importance of fostering a positive body image in girls. And this year, they will do it again.

On Sunday, February 7^th Super Bowl XLIV airs another spot that celebrates body diversity. This time, men are the focus:

Read Dove and Diversity in full here.

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Body fat- it's not a bad thing

Carrie Arnold/ ED Bites

A new study confirms previous research that a higher percent body fat is associated with better outcomes for anorexia, and that lower body fat percentages are associated with relapse (Bodell and Mayer, 2010). The research isn't exactly groundbreaking, nor is the science--it's a pretty straightforward statistical analysis--but the results bear repeating. For most of my treatment, I've had clinicians low-ball my weight. They'd use some sort of plug-n-chug formula and tell me what I needed to weigh. Only twice was I asked what I weighed before the eating disorder during these "What should healthy Carrie weigh?" conversations. The second time, I lied because that is what people with eating disorders do when they are terrified of gaining weight and want to avoid it at all costs. Nothing egregiously inaccurate, but still.

Read in full here

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The Strength Is In The Foundation

Elisabeth from Letters To My Body.com

February 26th will mark my 4th year in recovery from my eating disorder. Four YEARS! Can you believe it?

In anticipation of this four year mark, I’ve been very thoughtful lately about my past, where I’ve been, how I arrived there, and how I have come to the place where I am now. And where is this ‘place’ that I’m talking about?

The place is happiness.

The place is peace.

It is a place filled with the knowledge that I don’t need to obsess about every morsel that passes my lips, and the confidence to know the difference between hunger and pain (or hurt or boredom or anxiety).

It is also a place where I trust in my own body to tell me what it needs, and have the ability to forgive myself in advance for any over-indulgences that may occur on occasion.

I no longer live in a state of instability and chaos (inevitably dictated by the number on the scale each morning). Oh, what a total relief THAT is!

Above all, I’m coming from a place of love, kindness, and compassion.

This place was not discovered easily. It took a lot of work, self-doubt and determination. In all truth, much of the time, I faked it till I made it. It’s still not easy at times, and I have my own personal struggles just as anyone with past (or present) disordered eating does. However, the bottom line is this…

Read Foundation in full here.

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Trimming The Budget-Not Just For The Arts & Music Anymore

Tracey Mere /The Givens That Are Our Graces

Albany's governor proposed budget eliminates funding for eating disorders in order to keep the focus on obesity and diseases related to obesity.
"In comparison to obesity and diabetes, eating disorders affect relatively few New Yorkers," said Claudia Hutton, spokeswoman for the state Department of Health.
The governor's budget will end the $1.7 million annual subsidies to the state's three eating disorder centers, including $500,000 to Albany Medical Center. The cut would eliminate Albany Med's entire budget and close the eating disorder program.
"It creates a huge void in the services we've been able to develop," said Dr. Sharon Alger-Mayer, medical director of the Northeast Comprehensive Care Center for Eating Disorders at Albany Med.
The program serves about 2,000 people through outpatient services and 50 people who need to be...

Read in full here.
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BEFORE SIZE ZERO: THE WAY WE WERE...

Medusa

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Unattainable Beauty: The Decades Most Egregious Retouching Scandals

Newsweek

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Girls' favorite cartoon characters get make-overs (not good ones)

feministing.com

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Mom Camps Out To Get Spot In Mental Ward For Son

Newsobserver.com

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picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kurtxio/ / CC BY 2.0

Eating Disorders: A Look At What Some ED Bloggers Are Talking About

The Paradox Of Choice
ED Bites: Carrie Arnold

On my move, I had lots of time in the car in which to listen to music, think, and try to ignore Aria's backseat yowling. To help pass the time and keep me awake, I downloaded a bunch of TED Talks onto my iPod. They were an eclectic mix, from anthropology to physics, but they kept me awake and alert for many hours.

One that left a lingering impression in my brain was a talk by Barry Schwartz, author of the book "The Paradox of Choice." I've blogged on the book before, but there was a brief phrase in the talk that really caught my attention. Schwartz was talking about buying jeans, and how many years ago there was only one style of jeans, and they fit very badly. More recently, Schwartz went out to buy a new pair of jeans because his old ones had worn out, and he found a mind-boggling array of jeans from which to choose. Ultimately, he did find a pair that fit better than before, but with such variety available, any issues with how his jeans fit was his problem, not the jeans'.

Let me try to explain this better.

Read The Paradox Of Choice in full here.
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A Factor Of Starvation
Are You "Eating With Your Anorexic?": Laura Collins

Years ago I spent time in an airport waiting area with a mom and her young son with autism. The silent young man, she said with both chagrin and bravado, lives on a diet of fresh MacDonald's french fries, milk shakes, and megavitamins. At the time I appreciated both her honesty and her predicament, though I think I probably had some smug disapproval going at the same time. These were his boundaries, and this mom was not catering to whims, she was loving him and taking care of him from where he was. I did not know that some day I would understand this mom's nurturing in a very personal way, and that I would continue to wish that I could go back and really hear her and make sure she felt supported and understood, if only from a stranger.

When you spend time in the ED world you cannot help but notice how often you see certain traits in patients, many former patients, and often in family members. Things like difficulty with 'set shifting,' a blinding focus on detail, and difficulties with correctly interpreting the emotions of others. There is a lot of talk now about a connection between autism and anorexia.

Read A Factor Of Starvation in full here.
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Join The Online Boycott Of Ralph Lauren
The-F-Word: Rachel

Remember the Ralph Lauren shrinky-dink hack job of already underweight supermodel Filippa Hamilton? Followed by them firing the same underweight supermodel for being too fat? Now the producers of America the Beautiful are waging an online boycott of the unrepentant fashion house.

On behalf of all the girls who feel ugly, overweight, and just not-good-enough;

On behalf of the parents who worry, cry, strive to help their daughters, and shell out $20,000 a month and above for eating disorder treatment centers;

On behalf of all the Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, Aunts, women everywhere who have ever been made to feel insecure by the magazines, billboards, ads, and television commercials;

We are calling for the Boycott of Ralph Lauren products.

Read Join The Online Boycott Of Ralph Lauren in full here.

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Dealing With Your Eating Disorder And Parents As An Adult

Actively Arielle: Arielle Becker Bair

This week's video is in two parts, because what I had to say took a bit longer than 10 minutes. :) The topic of the video is: Dealing with your eating disorder & your parents as an ADULT --'cause let's face it, they affect us even when we're grown or we carry issues with us.

Click here for Arielle's Blog and Links to the Videos

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13 Years Old And Anorexic: Kourtney's Story

Medusa

Kourtney's story...

"It all began when I was a mere 13 years old. Almost exactly one year ago. I was running cross country, having fun with friends, and getting into fashion and clothes. Life was great, I was happy and healthy, and everything seemed "perfect."

First, came the OCD. It hit like a brick to the face. I started feeling anxious about running and times. I started calculating times of 3.5 miles in my head, obsessively. All of the sudden, nothing seemed to trigger it.

The OCD caused me to isolate from friends because I was so trapped in my head, all of the time. So habitual, so compulsive. I stopped going shopping with my best friend over the weekend, and all I would do between classes was look at the school record times, calculating how I could obtain them with my current times. All of the isolation led to depression.

Once the depression hit, I stopped eating, but just a little bit.

13 Years Old and Anorexic in full here.

Eating Disorder Bloggers: What Others Are Posting About

A sampling of what other bloggers have recently been talking about on their Eating Disorder Blogs:


ANOREXIA: A FEEDING TUBE COULD BE IN YOUR FUTURE
Medusa

The ins and outs of PEG (Percutaneous Endoscopic Gastrostomy) and NG (nasogastric) feeding tubes...

So, what are NG and PEG feeding tubes?

They are medical devices used to provide nutrition to those who cannot obtain nutrition by swallowing. Feeding tubes are often a last resort for chronic anorexics.

An NG tube is passed through the nose, down the esophagus and into the stomach, and a PEG tube is inserted through a small incision in the abdomen into the stomach.
Read in full here.
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RECOVERY OR RECOVERED?
Life With Cake: Bulimia Recovery Blog

A couple of years ago, I volunteered at a nonprofit eating disorder organization, USF Hope House for Eating Disorders. Upon meeting me, the director posed the question, "Do you think it's possible to be "recovered" from an eating disorder?"

With all of my OA program knowledge, and knowing that her program wasn't 12-Step based, instantly I replied, "No." Was she serious? Recover from an eating disorder? I had learned better.

Since then, I have questioned the term "recovered" often. "Recovered" could be rather subjective, depending on who you ask. Read in full here.
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WHAT HAPPENS TO THE DROP OUTS?
ED Bites: Carrie Arnold

Eating disorder research is made especially difficult due to the large number of patients who prematurely drop out of treatment. Sometimes, this happens in such numbers that the studies are, essentially, invalid. This is also why studies of eating disorders in adolescents are much more successful than those in adults: parents can usually (but not always) be called upon to insist that their child receive care, even when the child isn't exactly enthusiastic about the whole idea.
Read in full here.
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ED RECOVERY: DEALING WITH THE UNEXPECTED
ED Recovery Blog

One of the first things that anyone tends to learn when they start to take a closer look at eating disorders is that it’s not really about the food: it’s about emotions and control. When everything is upside down and feels twisted inside out, sometimes it feels like the only thing that you can control is what you do or do not eat - and in what quantity. Part of recovery is recognizing that there are other ways of taking control in life and learning “more effective coping mechanisms.”
Read in full here.
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SIX-YEAR-OLDS AND EATING DISORDERS
Feed Me: Harriet Brown

This Canadian article, published last November, is one of the few I've seen anywhere that overtly links comments and teasing about weight with eating disorders. A significant percentage of teens with eating disorders are overweight at some point. As this piece points out, other people's responses to their weight can start them spiraling down into the hell of an eating disorder. Read in full here.
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THE TIES THAT BOND
F-Word

I took college courses in my senior year of high school and attended for two years after, but then took a several-year hiatus. When I returned in my early-to-mid-20s, I was thus often the oldest student in the class. Combined with the fact that I had a professional job and had been financially independent for years already, I often felt old much in the same way I imagine Clint Eastwood feels standing next to the cast of High School Musical.

So, I well understood the palpable discomfort of the woman, who looked to be about the age of my mom, walking into my women’s history class for the first time on the third day of class. If I, one who is approaching just 30, feel out of place in our mostly undergrad class, I’m sure this woman felt very awkward indeed. Read in full here.