PURGE: Eating Disorders Poetry

Purge

Pain devours my judgment.
Unsatisfied it consumes my spirit.
My heart lay torn
All the threads of time
Will never make me whole again.

My eyes scream for mercy.
But my shallow breath
Gets caught in my throat-
Choking all that is left of me.

Tears stain battered soul.
As I long for forgiveness
The evil in me strikes.
Naked and bruised
It has finally stolen the last of my strength.

My worn and crippled body waits.
Sweet starvation softens the ache
Until torture rots my veins.
My enemy. Myself.
I beg you to stop.
Let go.

Yet I cling to you.
My disorder- my comfort.
You take me as your victim,
Smirk at my weakness.
Removing my identity until all that remains
is the outline of everything I used to be.

Beautiful. Thin. Free.

Lost and judged
I suffer on my own.
Tainted by obsession
Wounds masked by smiles.
You wouldn’t understand.

Nowhere else to turn, I depend on You.
Always faithful and always present.
Forever linked to me like a bad dream.
Please, God, wake me up.
I’d die to know how life feels.
written by: Anonymous

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picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/supersonicphotos/ / CC BY 2.0

Domestic Violence Help: Hotlines, Organizations, Websites, Resources, Tips

*WARNING: Your online/phone activity may be monitored by your abuser without your knowledge. Be sure that you are using a safe computer/phone line when seeking help (see below for more safety tips & warning signs).

*If you have an emergency call 911

Hotlines:

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800)799-SAFE (7233)
• Safe Horizon Hotlines:
  

1. Domestic Violence: 800.621.HOPE (4673)
2. Crime Victims: (866)689-HELP (4357)
3. Rape, Sexual Assault & Incest: (212)227-3000
4. TDD phone number for all SH hotlines: (866)604-5350

• Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men & Women: 1-888-7HELPLINE (43575463)
  
• Johnnies House: (888) 696-5379
• Center Against Domestic Violence: 718-439-1000
• Domestic Violence Hotline in the US: 800-799-7233
• Domestic Violence Hotline/Child Abuse: 800-4-A-CHILD (800 422 4453)
• National Resource Center on Domestic Violence:1-800-537-2238
• Love Is Respect Org: National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474
• American Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center:866-USWOMEN (879-6636) live chat
  

• Abuse Victim Confidential IM Service
• Online SAFE Support Group
  

Websites & Resources:

• Women's Health Gov (violence against women: resources by state)
• NDVH (The National Domestic Violence Hotline)
• help by area: NDVH
• NCADV (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)
• Abuse Victim Hotline
• Center Against Domestic Violence
• Safe Horizon
• The Healing Club
• Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men & Women
• Johnnies House
• The Safe Place Org
• Domestic Abuse Project
• MINCAVA (Minnesota Center Against Violence Abuse)
• Family Violence Prevention Fund
• NVC (The National Center For Victims Of Crime)
• Locate A Shelter By State
• National Center On Elder Abuse (by state)
• Broken Spirits International Abuse Hotline & Organization Directory
• SAFE (Stop Abuse For Everyone)
• Love is Respect Org: National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
• American Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center
• International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies (by location)
• Stop Family Violence.org 
• VAO (Victim Assistance Online Org)
  

Legal Matters:

• US Department Of Justice
• NCJFCJ (National Council Of Juvenile and Family Court Judges)
• The National Crime Victim Bar Association
• BWLAP (Battered Women's Legal Advocacy Project)
• BWJP (Battered Women's Justice Project)
• ABA Pro Bono Programs
• NVC (The National Center For Victims Of Crime)
• Victim Law

Stay Safe While Seeking Help:
*Warning: Taking these steps may not completely hide your activity from your abuser.

• Change passwords and disable automatic password entry. Choose passwords that are difficult for someone to guess. Do not write passwords down.
• Watch what you put in your email address book. Disable automatic entry of email addresses.
• Disable automatic name completion for email.
• Clear incoming and outgoing mail.
• Clear cache, history, and cookies.
• Use a computer outside of your own home.
  
• Be careful using instant/text messaging
• Be aware that your location can be monitored, without your knowledge, by GPS on your cell phone.
• Be aware that your online activity can be monitored without your knowledge, including each keystroke that is made.
  
• Safety Planning List

Protect Yourself After You've Left:

• Get unlisted phone numbers (cells and landlines)
• Use a PO Box instead of your new address
• Cancel all shared credit cards and banking.
  
• Use a different bank when opening a new account.
  
• Apply to your state's Address Confidentiality Program.

Types Of Abuse Include:

• Physical
• Sexual
• Emotional
• Verbal
• Economical

Warning Signs Of Abuse:

• Social isolation: limiting what one can do, who one can see, and when one can see them
• Unexplained physical injuries
• Victim may show signs of depression: weight loss or gain, constantly tired, extremely anxious
• A batterer can be verbally abusive in private or in public
• Extreme jealousy
• Requiring permission to do certain things; ex. See people, spend money, etc.
• Controls what one wears
• An abuser might have a history of violence; short temper, fighting with others, abusing animals and or property, has easy access to weapons, becomes angry after consuming drugs or alcohol
• Stalking: when not together, constantly calls and inquires whereabouts; shows up to victim’s home
• Victim is apologetic for abuser’s actions, makes excuses for them, rationalizes them, blames themselves
• Victim is constantly “on edge;” does things to keep the abuser happy, very afraid to make the abuser angry
• Victim loses interest in once-loved hobbies and activities, most of his or her time is spent with abuser or doing tasks for the abuser
• Abuser threatens self-harm or suicide to guilt the victim

Warning signs source: Abuse Victim Hotline


Questions To Ask Yourself:

• Are you ever afraid of your partner?
• Has your partner ever actually hurt or threatened to hurt you physically or someone you care about?
• Does your partner ever force you to engage in sexual activities that make you uncomfortable?
• Do you constantly worry about your partner's moods and change your behavior to deal with them?
• Does your partner try to control where you go, what you do and who you see?
• Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs?
• Have you stopped seeing family or friends to avoid your partner's jealousy or anger?
• Does your partner control your finances?
• Does he/she threaten to kill him/herself if you leave?
• Does your partner claim his/her temper is out of control due to alcohol, drugs or because he/she had an abusive childhood?
  

If you answer yes to some or all of these questions, you could be suffering abuse. Remember you are not to blame and you need not face domestic violence alone.

questions source:Healthy Minds Org



picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/34030509@N03/ / CC BY 2.0