Silent Scream: Eating Disorders Poetry

Warning: Poem may be triggering

Silent Scream

She’s convinced herself she can’t be loved
So she starves herself away
Ana promised to be her friend
And now she’s here to stay.

Each night she stands before the mirror
And runs her hand along the bones
You’re worthless and disgusting
The voice inside her drones.

Ana made her a deal
A way out of what others thought
A way to escape reality
For that’s what she truly sought.

The only thing she grew to care for
Was the counting in her head
Should no one bother saving her
Soon she will be dead.

It started out as a way for control
But now Ana stole that away
The number flashing on the scale
Controls every moment of everyday.

She wishes for someone to save her
From this never-ending hell
She’s tried to silence the voice in her head
But Ana just starts to yell.

Eyes closed tightly to shut out the world
She prays to disappear
A voice unheard, unheeded
A scream no one can hear.

By: Maggie Saunders

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Progress: Eating Disorders Poetry

warning: Poem may be triggering

PROGRESS

Brain dying

Skin freezing

Lips lying

Heart seizing

Hair falling

Body aching

Ana calling

I’m breaking

Voice shrieking

Insides tearing

Tears streaking

Soul baring

Ana slowing

Intense grieving

People knowing

No deceiving

Brain healing

Smile forming

Heart feeling

Skin warming

Ana whining

Body loving

Hair shining

I’m recovering

Written by: Jessica of Periwinkle Paradise

*Check out Jessica's recovery / awareness jewelery,  Periwinkle Paradise, on Etsy.

Jessica says: 10% of the purchase price of ALL Periwinkle AND Dragonfly items AND Art pieces will be donated to NEDA - the National Eating Disorders Association - the largest National non-profit for eating disorder awareness. I look forward to raising awareness about eating disorders and helping those in need through this line of Periwinkle/Dragonfly Pieces and Recovery Art and to sharing these and all of my other pieces of jewelry with you!

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Eating Disorders Poetry: My Declaration of Independence

This is my declaration of independence...

from the voice that never lets me rest or says what I do or who I am is never good enough.

from the sickness that takes doing anything productive as an "opportunity" NOT to eat.

from the disease that tricks, not just my mind, but my body into pushing beyond the line of healthy, sane excersize.

from the disorder that brings my turmoil unto my family unnecessarily and forces it's rules onto those I live with; to waste money on food I will inevitably abuse or deprive them of foods they enjoy because they trigger binges for me.

from the idea that I can't deal with the downfalls, relationships, rejections, or losses in my life.

from the voice that distorts the real image of my body, my thoughts, and my soul,

or says I need to eat more then physically refuse it,

eat less and then abuse it,

or eat nothing until hunger and fullness are one in the same.

No more will I feel bad, guilty, or trapped for nourishing my body.

No more will I let it distort who I am or what I see with my eyes.

No more will I let it suck the life from me, the freedom to live how I want to.

No more will I let it take my confidence, what makes me truly beautiful, MY beliefs.

No more will I be afraid to simply go grocery shopping for my family or myself.

No more will I let it destroy me, mentally and physically.

No more will I believe that no one could ever love me or that I could never LOVE MYSELF.

No more will I listen to the negative spin on a compliment.

No more will I surround myself with people who fuel this abusive boyfriend in my head.

No more will I feel bad for eating "too much".

No more will I be afraid to eat.
No more.

by: Alex Buchwald




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Eating Disorders Poetry: Done

Done

I don't want you in my life
I don't want you in my head
You play sick mind tricks on me
While I lay awake in bed

You convince me that I'm ugly
That I'm too fat to go outside
You want me to be skinny
Even if it causes me to die

I can see through your lies now
I won't entertain your attacks
I'm not saying that it's easy
But I'm never looking back

I won't let you control me
Not like you did before
I'll decide what's right for me
And your insults will go ignored

Written by: Jessica of Periwinkle Paradise

*Check out Jessica's recovery / awareness jewelery,  Periwinkle Paradise, on Etsy.

Jessica says: 10% of the purchase price of ALL Periwinkle AND Dragonfly items AND Art pieces will be donated to NEDA - the National Eating Disorders Association - the largest National non-profit for eating disorder awareness. I look forward to raising awareness about eating disorders and helping those in need through this line of Periwinkle/Dragonfly Pieces and Recovery Art and to sharing these and all of my other pieces of jewelry with you!

Please see sidebar menu for more eating disorders and body image poetry and writings. 
Be featured on Weighing The Facts


picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/charamelody/4844302605/in/photostream/

PURGE: Eating Disorders Poetry

Purge

Pain devours my judgment.
Unsatisfied it consumes my spirit.
My heart lay torn
All the threads of time
Will never make me whole again.

My eyes scream for mercy.
But my shallow breath
Gets caught in my throat-
Choking all that is left of me.

Tears stain battered soul.
As I long for forgiveness
The evil in me strikes.
Naked and bruised
It has finally stolen the last of my strength.

My worn and crippled body waits.
Sweet starvation softens the ache
Until torture rots my veins.
My enemy. Myself.
I beg you to stop.
Let go.

Yet I cling to you.
My disorder- my comfort.
You take me as your victim,
Smirk at my weakness.
Removing my identity until all that remains
is the outline of everything I used to be.

Beautiful. Thin. Free.

Lost and judged
I suffer on my own.
Tainted by obsession
Wounds masked by smiles.
You wouldn’t understand.

Nowhere else to turn, I depend on You.
Always faithful and always present.
Forever linked to me like a bad dream.
Please, God, wake me up.
I’d die to know how life feels.
written by: Anonymous

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Eating Disorder Poetry: TRAPPED

Trapped

My body is trapped in this mind

I try to break free, with fragile arms

No match for the burden of

This madness, sadness

That is heavy

So

Heavy

My mind is trapped in this body

Stagnant thoughts long to break out

To be strong, to step off this painful record

that just won’t

Stop

Spinning

My song is trapped in this mind

Why now does it just sound

Like noise, static. It screeches,

Incessantly, urgently. Where is

My

Voice?

My love is trapped in this body

Somewhere, hiding, beneath this

Cold, callous shell. Oh, it’s real –

Delicate, vulnerable, and trapped

So

Trapped.

Written by: Bethany

of U of I Free People

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Eating: An Eating Disorder Poem

Eating

nibbling at my nerves

picking at my priorities

licking away my laughter

feeding off my fear

gulping down my growth

consuming my confidence

and...

swallowing my self

by: anonymous

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I am Divine: National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

I Am Divine

Spirit teaches me that love is unconditional
to all, for all even if not always by all
I live this
I breathe this
I do all that I can to embody this


but I hate my body

I put conditions on my body

i put conditions on myself

I love God and feel Spirit move through me

Spirit is in me

Spirit is me

so if I hate myself

I hate Spirit

which is the antithesis of all that i believe

all that i am all that i teach all that is fluid in me

My core belief crumbles when facing the mirror
for today can i love myself the way that God loves me?
for today i can love myself the way that God loves me
for today i can find value in all that i am
not who i am because i already value my who
but "that" i am
it's the physical parts that get compartmentalized
in this fluid organic Spirit that I embody, that I love, that I preach, that I live... I lock away the part of me that needs this Spirit the most


i love the person who cuts me off in traffic

i love the person who turns her nose up at my tattoos

i love the child who is being belligerent
i love the spouse who searches for answers in the alphabet store
i love the parent who knows best
i love the co-worker who never gets it right
i love the bill collector who harasses me
i love the neighbor who judges me
i love the person in the seat next to me who smells bad and talks too loud
i love the person who hates me
i love the me who hates me


i'm working on that last one
i'm calling all Spirit to guide me
raise my consciousness and help me see the beauty in this body
this body that is called to do so much
this body that is the vessel of my Divine Spark
this body that serves an ultimate purpose right here, right now, every day and every day on
this body that is screaming to be loved
this body that is making itself more and more apparent that i might glimpse its being and value its worth
this body
my body
the body of God
the precious one
the child
the chosen
the created

the creator

the author and actor

the writer and director


an authentic self is the most personal form of worship
an authentic self is true
my self revolves around my belief
my core belief crumbles when faced with a mirror

Written by: Babetta of Lived, Composed, and Illustrated by Babetta

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The Abyss: Eating Disorder Poetry

It's the Abyss
And that which fills It.
Some days I'm looking in to
It.
Some days I'm looking up from deep inside of It.
Sometimes I can feel refreshing rain
Falling
From somewhere above me
But I can't see the sky.
It's the Voices
And that which quiets Them.
Every second of every day
I fight to be heard
To listen to what I want to hear.
Control Me
Control It
Control Me
Control It
Like the petals on a daisy telling me if I am loved
I don't know what the outcome will be
I want to climb out of the abyss.
I want to quiet the voices.
But the abyss wants to swallow me up.
And the voices want to quiet me.

Written by: M.T.

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It's Time To Talk About It: I Used To Know A Girl

I used to know a girl

A girl who was happy and free

That girl was me

But then ED hit

And she willingly welcomed it

Thinner and thinner she became

Anorexia was the blame

Faster and faster she would run

Killing herself before she was done

The girl soon became too ill

No longer did she have the will

To the life she had been handed

Anorexia had landed

I used to know a girl

Who could not feed herself a bite

Who knew she thought that wasn’t right?

The girl became so weak

Her life was truly bleak

But she did not see the failure

Just only the ED’s allure

Down her throat her hand slid

Nothing. So she cut her wrist and bled

The girl I knew did not flaunt

Because her life had no want

The girl you see

Is shamefully me

No longer is she a stick

Recovery left her stomach thick

Still, the girl has no want

And her ED is back to haunt

Really, she’s trying

But she can’t help the crying

Recovery hurts

But the

ED burns

Written by: Kourt
age 14

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I Choose Sanity: A Journey To Recovery

I Choose Sanity

i walk slowly to the light
knowing the journey will not be easy
but i refuse to sit and do nothing
because i am worth every step i take

i may fall backwards
and want to give up
to give in
but these fleeting thoughts i will let go

i will let go of the desire to be perfect
to accept who i am in this journey
to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel
that i am worth the journey

it may be hard
i may cry
i may feel pain
but these moments to shall pass

a little walk is better than sitting frozen
i may take two steps back and one step forward
but this is ok
it is ok to be who i am

for these are just moments
and they too shall pass
i refuse to give up
and be defined by it

for i am more than i can see

i choose to see me in my loved ones eyes
to see what they see
to believe in that
and to one day get back to that place in my own mind

written by: Kendra Sebelius via A Voice In Recovery.

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Snow: The Value Of Listening To Your Heart

Snow
The value of listening to your heart.... ...rather than an eating disordered head.

If I hadn’t ignored my head then I wouldn’t have seen the snow, shimmering and sparkling in the early morning sunlight.

And if I had, as it commanded, stuck to the weekly regime and gone swimming; then I would have missed being the first to walk through the unmarked snowfall, spraying glitter in my wake and leaving a dance of footprints behind me.

If I had given in to the demand to justify and earn every mouthful, then I would have been lapping up and down an empty pool while the sun was working its magic over the snowswept fields; and, against the diamond white backdrop, the colours and shadows became breathtaking.

And, if I had listened to my often overpowering head – rather than my often overpowered heart; then I might not have noticed how beautiful the world can be, and how much fun there is in the smallest pleasures –

Like a twirling whirling flake of snow.

Written by: Finding Melissa

She says: "An eating disorder is a gradual erosion. It’s a chip chip chipping away. A slow, insidious takeover that removes all traces of an individual, erases all suggestion of an identity, dominates thoughts, actions, feelings….and articulates one devastating message: 'without me, you are nothing'…..It is a lie. You’ve just got a bit lost along the way.

Be sure to visit Melissa's wonderful site: Finding Melissa

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Invasion Of The Body Snatchers: ED Poems And Writings

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Please ignore the aliens

They are taking over my brain

Impulses come and Impulses go

Hoping that my soul will still remain.

My soul is slowly dying

Remembering my past

The life and love I hold within

If only they would last.

The aliens within

Strip me of my Hope,

My Smile, My Strength, My Determination

I forget the tools to cope.

I know that I am worth the fight

I don’t like to admit

I can not do this on my own

As I reach up from this pit.

This pit of isolation

Desperation and Despair

I want to find my inner strength

To grow and become aware.

Aware of possibilities,

A life where I am free

Free to Learn, Love and Live

A life where I can see.

My truth that comes from within

I can see my outer strength

Strength to reach out, for your support

I will go to any length.

You are stronger, than this monster

That works to control my brain

With your hand, support and truth,

My soul will still remain.

By: Mary Pat Nally

http://angeloflight08.wordpress.com/

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A Letter To My Body: ED Poetry And Writings

A Letter To My Body

Dear Body,

I can find nothing about you

to celebrate
besides my children
and it hurts.
Your betrayal haunts me,
and all of the rage that I feel
is taken out on you.
My silent hunger screams
inside of your skin,
but no matter how empty,
the heavy weight of you
will not let go.
You only remind me to feel ashamed.
Touched and taken with such hate
that I find it hard to love you,
and for that, I am truly sorry.
You have nothing to apologize for.
You should not have to ask
for permission to exist.
I'm still learning to let you
take up the space that you deserve.
The fullness and discomfort that I feel
makes me want to crawl out from under you,
but I will try to stay until...
you become a part of me.

By: Angela Minard

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Read more about Angela Minard: Conversations With Claudia, The Voice Of An Eating Disorder

Be sure to visit Angela Minard's blog: Here and Now ~*~ 4 Angel "Poetry and thoughts on my journey toward healing and unlocking the silence within. Words are magic. Words have the power to heal, so find your voice, and fly!"


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