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Blood churns
interweaving like an intricate
crimson
bracelet encircled tightly
'round my wrist.
Sliver of raw flesh
part through my nakedness
Dancing alongside my veins
Leading me into a dance
I wanted all along.
My physical body
falls into a deep slumber
My mind slowly slums into hell
I hear drums beating
Louder, faster, lover
A suicidal dance
You caused this premature death
that you promised me
all this time-
That I thought I wanted all along.
Blood leaks
through every crevice
of my body
You slaughtered my innocence
and now I want it back.
by: Ashley
I am 18 years old and am working towards recovery. Truthfully, at this moment I do not consider myself 100% completely recovered- but I am so proud of myself at the amount of progress that I have made! What helped me with my recovery process in struggling with self-injury and an eating disorder is to ACCEPT the pain that I have to deal with instead of using those harmful behaviors to deal. I have the hardest time accepting others' judgments of me- people's words have made me feel FAT, not good enough, a waste, a disgusting person, not pretty enough, UGLY, not smart enough and WORTHLESS. Instead of hurting myself, I do things that make me feel SPECIAL about myself such as swimming, teaching and working with children, writing, running, laughing, smiling and talking it out with people I trust. Recovery is SOOOO worth it!!! Although I have developed a special, understanding place for the girl who I once was, a girl who felt so ugly and alone in this world that she tried to kill herself on her 18th birthday- I could never go back to that girl who I once was. I have developed the STRENGTH to accept others' judgments of me, and know that I am not FAT, UGLY or WORTHLESS, despite what you may say or think- inside, I know that I am BEAUTIFUL.
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picture source:http://www.flickr.com/photos/denise_rowlands/3789200837/
1 comments:
wow... your poem is amazing :)
Congratulations on your recovery!
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