Recovery: Letting Go Of What Was

Recovery is the process of letting go of what was in order to create what will be.
MrsM

Recovery: What Are You Afraid Of?

Does the thought of recovery fill you with fear?
If so, you are not alone. It's really quite common to feel this way.

Why, when we know something is good for us, do we feel afraid of it? 

The reasons vary. Individual experiences come into play. Reasons can range from simple to complicated, making it difficult to narrow it down to one, simple answer. When an eating disorder is also part of the equation, the whys can become even more complicated. Change and control, though, are major factors for almost everyone.

Change is scary. You're taking a risk. You're leaving behind familiar territory for the unknown. There's comfort in the familiar, even when the familiar is a horrible place to be, because you know it well. The ins, the outs, the lows, the highs ... there's not much that can surprise you, not much to catch you off guard and throw you off kilter.

Fear of losing what little control you have can be scary, too. How can you control the unknown? You may have mastered controlling and navigating your current situation so well that the thought of relinquishing that control may feel too scary to even contemplate. But...

You must surrender your fears.

It's not easy to let go, even when what we're holding on to is what we most need to let go of. But, letting go is necessary to achieve change and change is necessary to achieve recovery. We have to be willing to venture out of our comfort zone and let go of what currently is, in order to begin creating what can be.
  
"The only way out is through."
  
So how do you let go despite the fear? 

With practice and patience. Acknowledge your fear. Recognize it for what it truly is, and then move forward regardless. Each time you deny your fear the chance to be in charge you gain confidence and courage, making the next time a little bit easier. Soon, what you once thought impossible, becomes reality.

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.   
Eleanor Roosevelt

Here are some suggestions and links to help with the process:

• Keep your thoughts and words positive. Use positive, encouraging self-talk.
• Visualize the change you desire in a positive light.
• Believe in your ability to overcome your fears, to change, and to recover.
• Have faith. 
• Make a 2 column list. On one side list what you're afraid of, the other side list why that fear is invalid (or how to let it go).
• Seek reinforcements (counseling, mentoring, organizations, people in recovery, supportive family and friends, recovery sites and forums)
• Stay honest with yourself and others. 
• Be kind and patient with yourself. Change takes time. Recovery takes time.
• Get involved in something creative (writing, sketching, dance, doodling, painting, crafts,...). It gives you something positive to put your energy into and is a great outlet for stress and anxiety. 
• Remember the recovery sayings; "Fake it 'til you make it," and "Act as if". Doing this gives you a taste of what it feels like to achieve the change you're seeking. It sets your mind on track. (It doesn't mean to lie to yourself, or others, in an attempt to deceive)
• Journal.
• Use affirmations throughout the day and at bedtime.
• Choose a mantra to say to yourself whenever you're feeling less than brave (example: I am not my fear. I am capable of moving past these feelings. I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I believe in myself). Repeat, repeat, repeat.
• Surround yourself with positive influences. 
• Create a recovery sound track of music that makes you feel good. 
• Create a recovery feel good image file. Fill it with things that make you feel good, strong, serene. (Do not use anything that relates to the body, weight, or appearance in any way). 
• Take care of yourself every day.
• Create a Relapse Prevention Plan. 
•  Give yourself credit when you make even the smallest progress. Each positive step is a victory. Celebrate it!
• When you feel overwhelmed, turn it over to your higher power. 

 Recovery Is Possible! You are capable, worthy, and deserving of it!


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Recovery Inspiration: Happiness

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

Henry David Thoreau

image source:http://www.flickr.com/photos/angelic0devil6/2148755799/in/photostream/

Recovery: 5 Things You Can Do Right Now To Change Your Life

Forgive and Let Go of Past Hurts and Mistakes:

Everyone has a history. Some histories are better than others, but most all of us have events in our past that have caused us pain in some way.

When we allow these past events to remain a part of our current lives they affect our ability to move forward, live life in the present, and experience the love, joy, and fullness of life that we are entitled to.

Forgiveness is often necessary in letting go. Depending on what has occurred, we are either required to forgive ourselves, or forgive another. Forgiveness and letting go isn’t about forgetting or condoning. It involves a conscious decision to change our emotions about a certain event, learning from the experience, and stop allowing it be a negative influence on our present daily life.

Past hurts and mistakes are a heavy burden we need not carry the weight of. Whether the pain is due to something that happened to us, or happened because of us, we can learn to let it go and move into a happier and healthier stage of our lives.

We are not our past.



Believe in Yourself and Cultivate a Positive Attitude:

What we think and believe matters. Our attitude about life, and ourselves, influences not only how we feel about ourselves, but also how others feel about us.

Negativity is destructive and counter productive to living happily. There’s no better way to turn a possibility into an impossibility than negative thinking and lack of self-belief. It becomes the barrier that keeps us from being able to reach our full potential, our dreams, our aspirations, and the joy we all deserve in our lives.

Replace those negative and self-defeating thoughts with positive statements. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Learn to cultivate a positive attitude by stopping hurtful self-talk when it happens. Don’t spend one more minute selling yourself short and cheating yourself out of the life you deserve.

We become what we think and believe.



Do Something For Someone Else:

Causes, charities, and people … there are so many who can benefit from our efforts. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, take up all our free time, or be costly.

Even the smallest of gestures can make a big difference:

• Helping an elderly neighbor by offering to pick up some things for them when we go grocery shopping.
• Giving an understanding and reassuring hug to someone going through a difficult time.
• Volunteering at the hospital, nursing home, school, etc.
• Supporting our favorite cause or charity.

The possibilities are endless.

There’s so much reward in the giving of our selves for a good cause. Whether it’s for friends, family, or strangers, we never walk away without having been gifted in the process.

By helping others we help ourselves.



Be Yourself:

Sounds simple, right? Actually, with all the preconceived ideas of what we should be doing with our lives, how we should be dressing, what we should look like, what we should weigh, what’s acceptable and what’s not… it can be easy to lose confidence in who we are. Trying to meet the standards of others, or society, can chip away at how comfortable we are with who we are.

It’s important that we feel comfortable with ourselves so that we can be authentic without fear. It all starts with self-acceptance, and moves on to self-appreciation, and then into self-confidence. Start accepting yourself as you are and there’s a change reaction.

The world would be a very boring place if everyone looked the same, weighed the same, acted the same, did the same things, enjoyed the same things, and lived the same lives. We’re not meant to be copies of one another. We are meant to be our own, unique, and glorious selves. Learning to be ourselves, and to love ourselves, is essential to truly knowing joy and happiness. So, shrug off what the world tells you to be, and be true to yourself.

I am uniquely and wondrously made.



Relax, Renew, Revive:

Take time for yourself. No matter how busy our schedules are it is important that we give ourselves time to relax, renew, and revive. We are not put on this earth merely to work and meet the demands of our careers, families, and countless obligations. We are here to enjoy our lives. It is up to us how well we do just that.

Getting overwhelmed and over-scheduled is draining and, more often than not, leaves us feeling tired, cranky, and defeated. What good is that? There are, of course, things that we have to do but how many things are we doing that aren’t necessary? Go through your obligations and weed out the ones that either aren’t necessary or can be delegated to another for the day.

Scheduling time for ourselves should be a priority. If we don’t take care of ourselves we are less able to care for others. Even small breaks from the demands of our lives can be renewing:

• A cup of tea in your favorite chair, on the porch, with a friend, or all alone in your bedroom (with a “do not disturb” understanding with your family or roommates).
• A walk around the block, park, or along the beach.
• A long soak in the tub with some scented candles and relaxing music.
• Movie night with a friend or loved one.
• Playing your favorite music while singing and dancing along.
• Lay in the grass and stare up at the clouds (or stars), and listen to the world around you.

When we take care of ourselves we are better able to care for others. 

©Weighing The Facts


picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/75227967@N00/98193355/in/photostream/

Eating Disorders Awareness: Pro-Recovery Project

Last week I had the pleasure of participating in a Pro-Recovery Project with 11 other bloggers to help raise awareness about Eating Disorders. Each blogger shared their views on, and reasons for, recovery.

Check out their inspiring posts:

Together We Can Recover

A Piece Of Me

Until Eating Disorders Are No More

Be Inspired

Life After Anorexia

Lost In Translation

Just As I Am

Fighting Anorexia

Actively Arielle: A Voice With A Commitment

A Pensive Insight

Creating A Path To Wellness

Weighing The Facts


Recovery Is Possible!

Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2012: Choosing Recovery

It's the first day of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, 2012.
Let's talk about RECOVERY...


What is an Eating Disorder?

eating disorder

Function: noun

: any of several psychological disorders (as anorexia nervosa or bulimia) characterized by serious disturbances of eating behavior

Eating disorders involve extreme behaviors, attitudes, and feelings surrounding food, weight, and body image which are harmful to a person's health and well-being.

Eating disorders are dangerous and can be fatal.

Though someone may be suffering from one eating disorder, they may also exhibit behaviors /traits of other eating disorders (or trade one eating disorder for another).
Eating Disorders Symptoms
Do I have an eating disorder? (self-assessment tests)


Is Recovery Possible?

Many, many people have recovered from their eating disorder and gone on to live healthily and happily. It takes time. It's a process. You can expect to experience ups and downs along the way but it is definitely possible.


What defines Recovery from an Eating Disorder?

Opinions vary, both medically and individually, but my favorite description of recovery is found in the book 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder: Effective Strategies from Therapeutic Practice and Personal Experience by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb. It says;

Being recovered is when the person can accept his or her natural body size and shape and no longer has a self-destructive relationship with food or exercise. When you are recovered, food and weight take a proper perspective in your life, and what you weigh is not more important than who you are; in fact, actual numbers are of little or no importance at all. When recovered, you will not compromise your health or betray your soul to look a certain way, wear a certain size, or reach a certain number on the scale. When you are recovered, you do not use eating disorder behaviors to deal with, distract from, or cope with other problems.

 Why would I want to Recover? What are the benefits? 

The benefits are too many to list in full. Here are just a few:

• Increased Energy
• A better sense of self
• Self-respect
• Self-acceptance
• Self-confidence
• Being more comfortable around others
• Being more comfortable in your own body
• Physical and emotional strength
• Feeling more peaceful
• Increased passion for life
• A better appreciation for your body
• A more comfortable relationship with food
• Better relationships with family and friends
• Better physical and emotional health
• Healthier hair, skin, and nails
• Longer life expectancy 
• A more loving relationship with yourself 

...and the list goes on and on.


What steps do I need to take to Recover? 

The first step is admitting that you have an eating disorder.
The second step is to decide that you want to recover.
Step three is to find professional eating disorder treatment.

There are several options available for professional help in recovering.

Here are a couple of  resources to help you with deciding your plan of action for recovery:
Something Fishy
Help Guide. org

 Check out the non-profit org, Mentor Connect for recovery mentoring. It's free.

Here is a list of more Eating Disorder Organizations and websites that you can contact for help and info.


What can I do, in addition to professional eating disorder treatment, to enhance my recovery efforts?
here are a few suggestions:

• surround yourself with positive, loving, supportive people
• journal
• use positive affirmations each morning, at bedtime, and throughout the day.
• join a support group
• visit positive recovery forums and sites
• take time for yourself
• be forgiving, kind, and loving to yourself
• be patient
• take a step back, and rethink before reacting
• make a relapse prevention plan
• take care of yourself
• nurture your mind, your body, and your spirit, daily
• volunteer/help others

 I asked readers three questions about recovery:

1.What has recovery meant for you?
2.What are the benefits of recovery?
3.How did you deal with your emotions when ED was speaking louder than your recovery?

Here are their amazing and insightful answers:

A said: Recovery for me has been an awakening of my real and authentic self. I lived for so long in the grips of ED and yearning for approval and acceptance from others. I was constantly looking outwards and thought that if I could fix the external aspects of myself, somehow I would be happy. Once I admitted to myself that I needed help and asked for it, I realized that the only way to happiness was to seek within first. 

The days when ED yelled in my head and tried to break me down, I yelled back and constantly challenged my distorted thoughts. With the help of a wonderful therapist, family, and friends, I began to see that ED was very simple, black-and-white, and that I wasn't any of those things. 

The benefits of recovery are that I actually accept and like myself just as I am. I am my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy. Most days I can see myself clearly and I am beautiful, inside and outside. Recovery for me is about choosing love and life, and I have never looked back.

S said: I want to be in healthy relationships with those close to me. I want companionship but I also want the capability to live alone. I want to use food as fuel not as an emotional crutch. I want to have a healthy body, regardless of its size. I want to be okay with the resulting size.

I want to sprint towards life, not away from death. I want to run a marathon and be healthy enough to do so. I want to compete in challenges regardless of fear of failure. I want to chase down every dream and capture them. I want to live.

L said: Recovery means peace and freedom to me. The benefits are wonderful - no more shouting in my head, able to work, smiling and laughing without the guilt, meeting friends for a cheeky drink or two etc.

When my ed spoke louder than my recovery I did my best to not respond. It was a struggle to get through the days without giving into it but I wanted to prove it wrong. So I did :)


B said: Recovery means to be me that i will be strong (mentally and physically) and healthy. Recovery will allow me to love myself and my body and accept that i can not be perfect because no one actually is. Recovery shows me everyday that i can do anything.

The benefit of recovery is that i will be happy and truly learn to love life and myself. I have learned that being a smaller size is not a good thing, and a healthy size is a good thing.

I've learned to say, "No, I'm not listening to you" or "You already said that." I deal with my emotions by repeating positive quotes or watching a pro-recovery video on youtube. I've found that writing down all the negative comments my ED makes and then counteracting them with positive ones is the best. But, above all, i refuse to restrict and let my ED win me over because I'm stronger than that.

K said:  I am not in recovery yet, in all reality I think I'm relapsing, but I still have my hopes and dreams. Recovery means freedom and time. Freedom to think about things. Freedom to act with integrity to myself. Freedom to not hide myself. It will mean all the time I spend obsessing about my disordered behaviours can be spent on the life I want to live.

One day - this ED won't even be an option for me. I'll face stressful situations with a healthy set of coping skills. At the moment my flirtations with recovery, ED has still been an option. But I want to fight this, I need to fight this, so one day I'll look back at the journey I've taken and know I'll never go back.

Life with an ED is a half life, a life in the shadows. I want more. I will get there. There isn't an alternative.

Choose Recovery! When you have an eating disorder, recovery is the most important factor in being able to live a healthy, happier life... to living the life you deserve. Recovery will cause the world to open up wide so that you can experience it completely and enjoy the life you desire for yourself.

MrsM

see sidebar menu for more recovery inspiration
 
©Weighing The Facts

resources:

 8 keys to recovery excerpt http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2011/08/what-full-recovery-from-an-eating-disorder-means/