10 Ways to Lighten Emotional Burdens & Create Change In The New Year

What is the number one New Years resolution, year after year? Is it health or happiness? No. More time with family and friends? No, not that, either. A financial windfall? Not even money makes the top of the list. It's weight loss.

Surprised? I wasn't, either.

There's a real shortage of self-appreciation, self-love, and self-acceptance in our society. We look at ourselves with a sharp, critical eye that's been honed to find each and every imperfection. We compare ourselves to others instead of accepting and celebrating our differences. We allow ourselves to be defined by our perceived shortcomings which, in turn, begins the cycle of self-deprecation. When I lose this weight I'll finally be happy. I wouldn't look so bad if my thighs weren't so big. If I looked like__, my life would be amazing. If I wasn't such a mess, I'd have gotten that job..... and so on, and so on. Why would it be a surprise to find that with all that we could aim for in the coming New Year, our appearance tops the list?

The reasons for how we view our bodies, and why we feel about them as we do, are as diverse as the bodies we've been taught (or have learned) to hate. No matter the reason, it's time that we put a stop to this, break the never ending cycle, and start to build a loving, healthy relationship with ourselves... and our bodies.

Let's resolve to focus less on losing body weight this year and focus more on losing the weight of the emotional burdens we carry with us every day. Those excessive, self-loathing, depressing, guilt-filled burdens that serve no positive purpose and that deprive us of living fully and joyfully. Yes, let's lose those. They are a heavy weight that we were never meant to bear.


10 Ways to Lighten Emotional Burdens and Create Change

  1. let go of resentments
  2. stop dragging the past into the present
  3. forgive and be forgiven
  4. appreciate your body, your spirit, yourself
  5. let go of negative self-talk
  6. stop comparing yourself to others
  7. accept yourself completely without
      prejudice to your appearance
  8. let go of thoughts/memories that do not
      serve to heal, help, or support you
  9. let go of feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy
10. move past what has held you back...
      with positivity, courage, and conviction


You may find the New Year to be a symbolic time to implement change but if you don't, the truth is that change doesn't require a special day. It can be created at any time... with huge leaps or small steps. It all depends on what works best for you. Just begin. Start. Difficult or easy, make it happen. You are capable and worthy of the change you seek.


Happy New Year! 
MrsM.

see also:
10 Self-Nurturing New Year's Resolutions
An Exercise in Bringing About Change
5 Things You Can Do Right Now to Change Your Life
Letting Go Of Resentment 
15 Quotes For Recovery In This Brand NewYear
What Are You Afraid Of? (Change)
Is What's Holding You Back Worth Holding On To?
Recovery and The New Year
New Beginnings 



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new years stat source:http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,2040218,00.html
picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/25297401@N08/5344318688/

Eating Disorders: An Exercise In Bringing About Change

When you let go of what isn't working you open yourself to what will and the possibilities become endless. 
MrsM

Do you desire change but can't seem to achieve it? No matter what you do, or how hard you work at it, there you are... right where you always find yourself and you have no idea why? Change seldom is easy. From the simplest to accomplish to the most difficult to achieve, its always going to take effort and, oddly enough, change, in order to make happen.

If you are like most of us, you are relying on what is familiar, expecting a successful outcome even if these same familiar routines have never brought about the change you seek. There is a very wise, old saying that sums up the problem with relying on our familiar, old routines ..."if you keep doing what you always did, you'll keep getting what you always got." If you find yourself  in a place that you do not want to be, you cannot do what you did that got you there and expect to find yourself somewhere else. You have to change, in order to create change. It's not as confusing as it sounds.

First, you need to recognize what hasn't worked for you so far. Here's a little exercise to help figure that out.

• Using a pencil, take a piece of paper, draw a line down the center, making two columns. 
• Label one column "changes," and the other column "resources" (what you have done to try to bring about those changes).  
• In the left hand column list a few changes you've attempted in the past.
• In the right hand column write down how you have unsuccessfully attempted to make that change happen. 
• Study it. Think about why your attempts didn't work.
• Now, remove it from your list of resources. Actually erase it from the resource column. 

It's gone. It's no longer an option. You are letting it go. When you let go of what isn't working you open yourself to what will, and the possibilities become endless.

All those empty spaces don't represent a lack of resources or options but the room to create new ones. They represent your freedom to try something new, to be creative, and to find something that resonates with you.

How can you create your new resources?

• Make a list of what motivates you, energizes you, empowers you. 
• Think back to what *has worked for you in the past. 
• Be honest and list why it worked. 
• Research for inspiration in those areas. 
• Present your new inspiration to a counselor/therapist for guidance with your plan. 
• Create a plan with a mentor. 

Once you have decided on your new course of action, be willing to give it a chance. Be willing to make mistakes. Be willing to try again. Be willing to let go of what doesn't work for you and try something else. 

Wanting change is the first step but wanting isn't all you need. Change occurs when we accept that what is can no longer be, and we are willing to do what it takes to make it happen... even if we must try, and try, and try again. It happens when we believe we are worthy and capable. 

Believe in yourself. Be resilient, patient, and determined. The change you seek is possible!

picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/childisarebel/7755896240/

Recovery: What Are You Afraid Of?

Does the thought of recovery fill you with fear?
If so, you are not alone. It's really quite common to feel this way.

Why, when we know something is good for us, do we feel afraid of it? 

The reasons vary. Individual experiences come into play. Reasons can range from simple to complicated, making it difficult to narrow it down to one, simple answer. When an eating disorder is also part of the equation, the whys can become even more complicated. Change and control, though, are major factors for almost everyone.

Change is scary. You're taking a risk. You're leaving behind familiar territory for the unknown. There's comfort in the familiar, even when the familiar is a horrible place to be, because you know it well. The ins, the outs, the lows, the highs ... there's not much that can surprise you, not much to catch you off guard and throw you off kilter.

Fear of losing what little control you have can be scary, too. How can you control the unknown? You may have mastered controlling and navigating your current situation so well that the thought of relinquishing that control may feel too scary to even contemplate. But...

You must surrender your fears.

It's not easy to let go, even when what we're holding on to is what we most need to let go of. But, letting go is necessary to achieve change and change is necessary to achieve recovery. We have to be willing to venture out of our comfort zone and let go of what currently is, in order to begin creating what can be.
  
"The only way out is through."
  
So how do you let go despite the fear? 

With practice and patience. Acknowledge your fear. Recognize it for what it truly is, and then move forward regardless. Each time you deny your fear the chance to be in charge you gain confidence and courage, making the next time a little bit easier. Soon, what you once thought impossible, becomes reality.

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.   
Eleanor Roosevelt

Here are some suggestions and links to help with the process:

• Keep your thoughts and words positive. Use positive, encouraging self-talk.
• Visualize the change you desire in a positive light.
• Believe in your ability to overcome your fears, to change, and to recover.
• Have faith. 
• Make a 2 column list. On one side list what you're afraid of, the other side list why that fear is invalid (or how to let it go).
• Seek reinforcements (counseling, mentoring, organizations, people in recovery, supportive family and friends, recovery sites and forums)
• Stay honest with yourself and others. 
• Be kind and patient with yourself. Change takes time. Recovery takes time.
• Get involved in something creative (writing, sketching, dance, doodling, painting, crafts,...). It gives you something positive to put your energy into and is a great outlet for stress and anxiety. 
• Remember the recovery sayings; "Fake it 'til you make it," and "Act as if". Doing this gives you a taste of what it feels like to achieve the change you're seeking. It sets your mind on track. (It doesn't mean to lie to yourself, or others, in an attempt to deceive)
• Journal.
• Use affirmations throughout the day and at bedtime.
• Choose a mantra to say to yourself whenever you're feeling less than brave (example: I am not my fear. I am capable of moving past these feelings. I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I believe in myself). Repeat, repeat, repeat.
• Surround yourself with positive influences. 
• Create a recovery sound track of music that makes you feel good. 
• Create a recovery feel good image file. Fill it with things that make you feel good, strong, serene. (Do not use anything that relates to the body, weight, or appearance in any way). 
• Take care of yourself every day.
• Create a Relapse Prevention Plan. 
•  Give yourself credit when you make even the smallest progress. Each positive step is a victory. Celebrate it!
• When you feel overwhelmed, turn it over to your higher power. 

 Recovery Is Possible! You are capable, worthy, and deserving of it!


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