Before I Disappear: National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

A song written and performed by N.R. Vandell For National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

"Before I Disappear"

There are days that I feel
Like I'm living a lie
But I fear if I didn't
I could never get by

Though they treat my façade
Even lower than dirt
If I'm not a real person
I can't really get hurt

They only see the image I've created for projection
I wish that I could stop but it is for my own protection
I'm certain that the real me does not deserve affection

Notice me, oh, please notice something
Notice me while I'm still here
Notice me before I shrink to nothing
Notice me before I disappear
Completely

If the saying is true
That you are what you eat
I can prove that I'm nothing
Vindication is sweet

I know how to stand out
I know how to be "in"
You don't have to be nice, girl
You just have to be thin

They say they see my ribs and yet they fail to see my pain
So is there only weight to lose and nothing left to gain?
I seek control and sanity but slowly go insane

Vanishing
Vanishing
Vanishing

Notice me, oh, please notice something
Notice me while I'm still here
Notice me before I shrink to nothing
Notice me before I disappear

Notice me, oh, please notice something
Notice me while I'm still here
Notice me before I shrink to nothing
Notice me before I disappear
Completely



She says, "A song I wrote and performed for Eating Disorder Awareness Week. That's a certain Mr. Zeigler on the keyboard-- he did the arrangement. I wish I had a better quality recording."