Eating Disorders Poetry: My Declaration of Independence

This is my declaration of independence...

from the voice that never lets me rest or says what I do or who I am is never good enough.

from the sickness that takes doing anything productive as an "opportunity" NOT to eat.

from the disease that tricks, not just my mind, but my body into pushing beyond the line of healthy, sane excersize.

from the disorder that brings my turmoil unto my family unnecessarily and forces it's rules onto those I live with; to waste money on food I will inevitably abuse or deprive them of foods they enjoy because they trigger binges for me.

from the idea that I can't deal with the downfalls, relationships, rejections, or losses in my life.

from the voice that distorts the real image of my body, my thoughts, and my soul,

or says I need to eat more then physically refuse it,

eat less and then abuse it,

or eat nothing until hunger and fullness are one in the same.

No more will I feel bad, guilty, or trapped for nourishing my body.

No more will I let it distort who I am or what I see with my eyes.

No more will I let it suck the life from me, the freedom to live how I want to.

No more will I let it take my confidence, what makes me truly beautiful, MY beliefs.

No more will I be afraid to simply go grocery shopping for my family or myself.

No more will I let it destroy me, mentally and physically.

No more will I believe that no one could ever love me or that I could never LOVE MYSELF.

No more will I listen to the negative spin on a compliment.

No more will I surround myself with people who fuel this abusive boyfriend in my head.

No more will I feel bad for eating "too much".

No more will I be afraid to eat.
No more.

by: Alex Buchwald




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This Week's R.I.S.E. : Tidy Up Your Inner House

This week's R.I.S.E. (Recovery Inspiration Strength Exercise): Tidy Up Your Inner House.

We all carry around with us emotions, thoughts, and memories from our past. Some are positive, encouraging, and emotionally comforting. Some, on the other hand, only serve to feed our negativity, fears, and anxiety. 

Not all that we feel and think is rooted in reality. We may see ourselves through our past and allow thoughts that spring from that to influence our present. Things that happened to us as children are remembered from a child's point of view and so may carry a heavier weight. Maybe the scarring words of someone we looked up to whispers in our ear, making us feel less than, unsure, scared, or helpless. Maybe a past event has altered how we see ourselves and carries with it feelings of shame that, in turn, make us feel unworthy of the good we deserve. 

How do you know if your thoughts or feelings need tidying up? 

• How do they make you feel?
• Are your feelings about it outdated?
• Do they derail your positive progress? 
• Are they attached to an event that you had no control over? 
• Do they serve to help you on your new path? 

Tidying up and cleaning out isn't a simple task. Not all the negative things we feel and think are so easily gotten rid of and require a professional to guide us to understanding the whys and the why nots so we can move past them. There are, though, things we can do on our own to make a big difference in how our thoughts, and even memories, affect us. 

Start small. Stay positive. Be patient. Be repetitive.

Forgive your past self of past mistakes. You, today, are not that person. You are allowed to change. You are capable of change. You are deserving of change. 

Let go of negative narratives. Those old tapes that play in your head, telling you you're not worthy, that you can't accomplish something, that you don't deserve anything good ... toss them! Replace them with positive, encouraging ones. Start a new inner dialogue that's supportive, and forgiving.

Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be loving to yourself. 

Tidying up is a bit more involved than past R.I.S.E. but the idea isn't to tackle it all. The idea is to pick one emotional negative that's dragging you down and chip away at it until you can rid yourself of it, then move on to another and do the same.

So this week, tidy up just one small corner of your inner house. Let the old stuff go and start anew. Your inner talk is a powerful cleaning tool. Make good use of it. 

Throw out that old set of emotional baggage and make room for a more positive set. Fill the new set up with only good things. Visualize the process. 

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