*WARNING: Your online/phone activity may be monitored by your abuser without your knowledge. Be sure that you are using a safe computer/phone line when seeking help (see below for more safety tips & warning signs).
*If you have an emergency call 911
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800)799-SAFE (7233)
- Safe Horizon Hotlines:
- Domestic Violence: 800.621.HOPE (4673)
- Crime Victims: (866)689-HELP (4357)
- Rape, Sexual Assault & Incest: (212)227-3000
- TDD phone number for all SH hotlines: (866)604-5350
- Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men & Women: 1-888-7HELPLINE (43575463)
- Johnnies House: (888) 696-5379
- Center Against Domestic Violence: 718-439-1000
- Domestic Violence Hotline in the US: 800-799-7233
- Domestic Violence Hotline/Child Abuse: 800-4-A-CHILD (800 422 4453)
- National Resource Center on Domestic Violence:1-800-537-2238
- Love Is Respect Org: National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474
- American Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center:866-USWOMEN (879-6636) live chat
Websites & Resources:
- Women's Health Gov (violence against women: resources by state)
- NDVH (The National Domestic Violence Hotline)
- help by area: NDVH
- NCADV (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)
- Abuse Victim Hotline
- Center Against Domestic Violence
- Safe Horizon
- The Healing Club
- Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men & Women
- Johnnies House
- The Safe Place Org
- Domestic Abuse Project
- MINCAVA (Minnesota Center Against Violence Abuse)
- Family Violence Prevention Fund
- NVC (The National Center For Victims Of Crime)
- Locate A Shelter By State
- National Center On Elder Abuse (by state)
- Broken Spirits International Abuse Hotline & Organization Directory
- SAFE (Stop Abuse For Everyone)
- Love is Respect Org: National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
- American Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center
- International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies (by location)
- Stop Family Violence.org
- VAO (Victim Assistance Online Org)
- US Department Of Justice
- NCJFCJ (National Council Of Juvenile and Family Court Judges)
- The National Crime Victim Bar Association
- BWLAP (Battered Women's Legal Advocacy Project)
- BWJP (Battered Women's Justice Project)
- ABA Pro Bono Programs
- NVC (The National Center For Victims Of Crime)
- Victim Law
Stay Safe While Seeking Help:
*Warning: Taking these steps may not completely hide your activity from your abuser.
- Change passwords and disable automatic password entry. Choose passwords that are difficult for someone to guess. Do not write passwords down.
- Watch what you put in your email address book. Disable automatic entry of email addresses.
- Disable automatic name completion for email.
- Clear incoming and outgoing mail.
- Clear cache, history, and cookies.
- Use a computer outside of your own home.
- Be careful using instant/text messaging
- Be aware that your location can be monitored, without your knowledge, by GPS on your cell phone.
- Be aware that your online activity can be monitored without your knowledge, including each keystroke that is made.
- Safety Planning List
Protect Yourself After You've Left:
- Get unlisted phone numbers (cells and landlines)
- Use a PO Box instead of your new address
- Cancel all shared credit cards and banking.
- Use a different bank when opening a new account.
- Apply to your state's Address Confidentiality Program.
Types Of Abuse Include:
Warning Signs Of Abuse:
- Social isolation: limiting what one can do, who one can see, and when one can see them
- Unexplained physical injuries
- Victim may show signs of depression: weight loss or gain, constantly tired, extremely anxious
- A batterer can be verbally abusive in private or in public
- Extreme jealousy
- Requiring permission to do certain things; ex. See people, spend money, etc.
- Controls what one wears
- An abuser might have a history of violence; short temper, fighting with others, abusing animals and or property, has easy access to weapons, becomes angry after consuming drugs or alcohol
- Stalking: when not together, constantly calls and inquires whereabouts; shows up to victim’s home
- Victim is apologetic for abuser’s actions, makes excuses for them, rationalizes them, blames themselves
- Victim is constantly “on edge;” does things to keep the abuser happy, very afraid to make the abuser angry
- Victim loses interest in once-loved hobbies and activities, most of his or her time is spent with abuser or doing tasks for the abuser
- Abuser threatens self-harm or suicide to guilt the victim
Questions To Ask Yourself:
- Are you ever afraid of your partner?
- Has your partner ever actually hurt or threatened to hurt you physically or someone you care about?
- Does your partner ever force you to engage in sexual activities that make you uncomfortable?
- Do you constantly worry about your partner's moods and change your behavior to deal with them?
- Does your partner try to control where you go, what you do and who you see?
- Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs?
- Have you stopped seeing family or friends to avoid your partner's jealousy or anger?
- Does your partner control your finances?
- Does he/she threaten to kill him/herself if you leave?
- Does your partner claim his/her temper is out of control due to alcohol, drugs or because he/she had an abusive childhood?
questions source:Healthy Minds Org