Eating Disorders: An Exercise In Bringing About Change

When you let go of what isn't working you open yourself to what will and the possibilities become endless. 

Do you desire change but can't seem to achieve it? No matter what you do, or how hard you work at it, there you are... right where you always find yourself and you have no idea why? Change seldom is easy. From the simplest to accomplish to the most difficult to achieve, its always going to take effort and, oddly enough, change, in order to make happen.

If you are like most of us, you are relying on what is familiar, expecting a successful outcome even if these same familiar routines have never brought about the change you seek. There is a very wise, old saying that sums up the problem with relying on our familiar, old routines ..."if you keep doing what you always did, you'll keep getting what you always got." If you find yourself  in a place that you do not want to be, you cannot do what you did that got you there and expect to find yourself somewhere else. You have to change, in order to create change. It's not as confusing as it sounds.

First, you need to recognize what hasn't worked for you so far. Here's a little exercise to help figure that out.

  • Using a pencil, take a piece of paper, draw a line down the center, making two columns. 
  • Label one column "changes," and the other column "resources" (what you have done to try to bring about those changes).  
  • In the left hand column list a few changes you've attempted in the past.
  • In the right hand column write down how you have unsuccessfully attempted to make that change happen. 
  • Study it. Think about why your attempts didn't work.
  • Now, remove it from your list of resources. Actually erase it from the resource column. 

It's gone. It's no longer an option. You are letting it go. When you let go of what isn't working you open yourself to what will, and the possibilities become endless.

All those empty spaces don't represent a lack of resources or options but the room to create new ones. They represent your freedom to try something new, to be creative, and to find something that resonates with you.

How can you create your new resources?

  • Make a list of what motivates you, energizes you, empowers you. 
  • Think back to what *has worked for you in the past. 
  • Be honest and list why it worked. 
  • Research for inspiration in those areas. 
  • Present your new inspiration to a counselor/therapist for guidance with your plan. 
  • Create a plan with a mentor. 

Once you have decided on your new course of action, be willing to give it a chance. Be willing to make mistakes. Be willing to try again. Be willing to let go of what doesn't work for you and try something else. 

Wanting change is the first step but wanting isn't all you need. Change occurs when we accept that what is can no longer be, and we are willing to do what it takes to make it happen... even if we must try, and try, and try again. It happens when we believe we are worthy and capable. 

Believe in yourself. Be resilient, patient, and determined. The change you seek is possible!