Recovering From Anorexia: Fighting, Facing--and Finally Embracing--Food

"In the wild ride that is life, some of us seek to find control in food. We use it to make ourselves feel better or worse. We restrict. We binge. We purge. We deprive. We use. Why food? Well, that’s the question, isn’t it?"

"There were times in my life I fasted for days, consuming nothing but water or diet Coke ... Sometimes, as I went between wanting to recover and wanting to wallow in my disease, I’d eat one meal a day—dinner—which was not nearly enough to satisfy my deprived body and mind. I remember summers of living on rice cakes at night after a 12 hour day of work. I did not have a good relationship with food." These are the words of Arielle Lee Becker, a young woman who's blog is an inspiring testament to her recovery from Anorexia .

"I came to a crossroads," she says in her blog entry, Fighting, Facing--and Finally Embracing--Food. "I really wanted to recover. Really wanted to be all right. Really really wanted it. Wasn’t just wishing, wasn’t just hoping—I was willing to do something about it. I was willing to work, to learn, to try."

"I got good at just saying 'No. ... When I’d feel that familiar grip of anorexia, I’d say, 'No.' Figuratively, literally, whatever it took. I was bold with myself—with my disease. I did not take shit ... It takes a lot of willpower.
More willpower than it takes to starve."

"I wrote. Daily. I used my writing to help me, to save me, to direct me. ... In the process I learned about myself, sought to love myself, wrote about my pain and my feelings, wrote about my struggles. I began to feel better. I began to stop counting. This was tough—to forget about sizes, forget about calories, forget about a number on a scale."

Arielle writes about giving up her scale, " have to work at it. You have to be strong and not allow yourself to give in. And in time you will be okay. You won’t be a slave to a device that conquers your mood and your sense of well-being. And let me tell you, without a number to dictate your daily mood, you begin to listen to yourself and to how you feel without that number. You know yourself as you never knew her before. You feel good. You feel free. You begin to finally see that you feel so good that there is no way you’d ever want to go back to that dark, horrible place you were before."

"I gained weight, but instead of being horrified by the way I looked, I appreciated the curves that were slowly showing themselves. The mirror was—strangely, I thought—more of a friend to me when I had put on some pounds than it was when I was sickly thin and longing to be thinner."

"The right path is never the easiest one, you know," she writes, "And the more you struggle, the better you will feel when you’ve overcome what it is that is bringing you down. In essence, everything worth fighting for starts with a struggle. And believe me, your health and your happiness are definitely worth fighting for."

"Listen to your soul...................... It's all about empowerment!"

To read the above in full, plus more of Arielle's inspiring writings and poetry, visit her blog: Actively Arielle: A voice with a Commitment.



Medusa said...

What a wonderful blog you have, MrsM.

Your superb posts provide those who are suffering from eating disorders so much remarkable resource information and wonderful inspiration to assist them on their road to recovery.

Kudos to you.

My blog: Medusa

MrsMenopausal said...

Thank you, Medusa. I appreciate you stopping by and for the wonderful compliment about my blog. :)

Arielle said...

Wanted to leave a comment here to say THANK YOU for doing a post on me and my blog! I am so appreciative and so honored. I have just been reading a lot of your blog as well and am very impressed. Keep up the good work and thanks again!


MrsMenopausal said...

Arielle, thank you. The pleasure was mine. I know that anyone who has the opportunity to read your blog will be glad they did and will find a great deal of inspiration.

Anonymous said...

I have added your page as a favorite on my computer.

I love the messages you give.

(a fellow orange)

Anonymous said...

I am enjoying your site and have added it to my favorites.

Thanks for speading the hope.

-a fellow orange

MrsMenopausal said...

Thank You so much for letting me know. I appreciate that. :)

Lou Lou said...

I have just read your write up on arielles blog, you picked some really inspirational words and I read them over and over and thought.. YES!!!!
both your blog and arielles are so inspirational.
thank you

MrsMenopausal said...

Thank you, Lou Lou. I really appreciate that. :)
And thank you for "a letter to my ED." I'm sure many will relate and be inspired.