Recovery: Is What's Holding You Back Worth Holding On To?

Past experiences, and the emotions that accompany them, all serve a purpose. We learn by doing, observing, and by making mistakes. We file those lessons away for future reference and we draw upon them to help us navigate the present. There's nothing wrong with this process unless, that is, it becomes the most used (if not only) navigation tool we possess. We, and the world around us, are in constant change. Even the tiniest deviation from the circumstances in which we found ourselves previously will have an influence on the outcome today.

For an example, when you were a child you were taught that fire burns. It's dangerous. You were told not to touch it because it will hurt you. That lesson is still with you as an adult but now you know how to use fire to your advantage. You had to adjust the lesson of your past in order to use fire safely to light a candle, to cook, to warm yourself by.

But what if you only held on to the first lesson learned and didn't deviate from it over the years? How different would your life be?

When we don't update the lessons of our past, we hinder the progress of our present. We create a wall of fear and self-doubt. The past becomes a proverbial prison, holding us back from moving forward and living and enjoying our lives as we are meant to.

The same holds true for how we define ourselves. What happened in the past is not our permanent definition. It's not a gauge for what is possible in the present. Who we were then does not determine who we are now.

Do you hold yourself in constant accountability for the mistakes you made as a young child and allow them to decide who you are today? Of course not, because we understand that those mistakes were made because we didn't know any better, we were learning, and we had some growing up to do. Despite what we may think, this is true no matter what our age. We are constantly learning and growing along the way, even if we don't realize it. Because of this, it's nearly impossible to be who you used to be. There are just too many variables.

When self is constantly confined and defined by the past there is no forward movement, no progress.  Past lessons no longer serve the purpose they are intended to but, instead, hold us captive. This is why it is so important to examine what we're holding on to, to be sure that it's not holding us back from the life we are deserving of.

Letting go of what's holding you back takes self-examination, patience and forgiveness.

Ask yourself if what you're holding on to is:

• relevant in your life today
• outdated thoughts/beliefs
• positive and supportive
• keeping you from being yourself
• keeping you from moving foward
• detrimental to how you feel about yourself
• causing you anxiety, fear, shame, or guilt
• causing feelings of inadequacy
• making you feel undeserving of love, success, happiness,  or joy

If you find that your answers are mostly negative, it's time for some updating and clearing out.

It's okay to let go of those lessons that are no longer pertinent to the life you desire and deserve. Just because they served their purpose then, doesn't mean that they still do. No matter what the past holds, you are who you decide to be today. The life you desire for yourself is achieved one thought, one belief, one small change at a time. 




picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicolopaternoster/4603639412/

Eating Disorders: Monster In My Head

As if one day I could wake up and live normal again. Live without this monster that infiltrates my mind 24/7. Every action I make is around this monster. Every plan, meal, thought has this monster in it. From the time I wake up in the morning to the time my head hits my pillow at night, this monster poisons my thoughts. Somehow he has made this cozy home in my mind, no one can explain it, and I cannot control it. But my mind has convinced me it is the only thing I can control in my mind, so when I start to freak out or lose control of everything, I always run back to this monster. He is called an eating disorder. It’s the nasty little monster that sticks like glue. 

Most eating disorders come as a pair or morph into one another. As for me, I met my first monster in 2008. Anorexia nervosa. He is the reason I lost 65 pounds in two months, the reason I developed horrible eating habits and became depressed and one of the reasons why my friends worried constantly about me. It didn’t just put a strain on my life but theirs also. I spent hours at my boyfriend’s sleeping because I was too tired and anemic to be awake and he spend his time trying to force feed me because he didn’t understand. My friends started talking about me behind my back and I wanted nothing to do with them. I felt alone, just me and my monster. It became my best friend. 

I reached my lowest weight of 108 pounds which is small for a tall girl like me. That’s when I admitted to myself that I needed to get help. I just wasn’t happy that I had no control of my life anymore. Telling my family wasn’t easy, but what made it worse was they didn’t believe me. I wasn’t home much and when I was, they thought I was losing the weight by eating healthy and working out. WRONG. After I talked to a couple people and made some changes, things got better you could say. It still seemed like every little pound I gained, my mind lost control. I developed Body Dimorphic Disorder. Something to this day I am never convinced will go away. It’s the monster that tells me I am fat, ugly, out of shape, unattractive, etc. I hate it the most; it is what triggers the rest.

Shortly after I started to binge eat. I “didn’t care” anymore and ate everything in sight. I still do and it is so hard to control. Eating this way can pack pounds quick, which triggered one more monster in my head. Over time my friend who is a student in psych noticed the amount and routine of my workout schedule. I had for sure developed exercise bulimia. This is the part of my brain that justifies binge eating because I can work off anything right? WRONG. 

Now since I have had no help I fall back into all of this in 2010. It’s not easy, and my life is so far from perfect. But I love God and I know he put this challenge in my life for a reason.  So one day, I will get over it. It may be hard now, and I may want to just cry myself to sleep because no one but me understands what goes through my head every day. But this will not defeat me. God doesn’t give people challenges they cannot handle. So let this be a learning experience by reading my life story. Don’t give up. Mark 5:36; Don’t be afraid, just believe.

By: Carolyn King

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picture source:http://weighingthefacts.blogspot.com/2009/01/share-your-poetry-and-writings-about.html

It's Time To Talk About It: I Used To Know A Girl

I used to know a girl

A girl who was happy and free

That girl was me

But then ED hit

And she willingly welcomed it

Thinner and thinner she became

Anorexia was the blame

Faster and faster she would run

Killing herself before she was done

The girl soon became too ill

No longer did she have the will

To the life she had been handed

Anorexia had landed

I used to know a girl

Who could not feed herself a bite

Who knew she thought that wasn’t right?

The girl became so weak

Her life was truly bleak

But she did not see the failure

Just only the ED’s allure

Down her throat her hand slid

Nothing. So she cut her wrist and bled

The girl I knew did not flaunt

Because her life had no want

The girl you see

Is shamefully me

No longer is she a stick

Recovery left her stomach thick

Still, the girl has no want

And her ED is back to haunt

Really, she’s trying

But she can’t help the crying

Recovery hurts

But the

ED burns

Written by: Kourt
age 14

*See sidebar menu for more ED poetry and writings

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picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/21560098@N06/ / CC BY 2.0

Recovery Quote Of The Week: December 22nd, 2009

Kindness is like snow~ it beautifies everything it covers.
Author Unknown

*click image to see larger version.


picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dougbrown47/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

BULIMIA: You Are Not Alone

A video by TallSkinnyCappuccino


Additional Information:
Bulimia Nervosa
Warning Signs Of Bulimia
Laxative Abuse For Weight Loss
Diuretic Abuse For Weight Loss

*See sidebar menus for ED resources, Hotlines, Tools, and Recovery Inspiration.

Recovering From Anorexia: Fighting, Facing--and Finally Embracing--Food

"In the wild ride that is life, some of us seek to find control in food. We use it to make ourselves feel better or worse. We restrict. We binge. We purge. We deprive. We use. Why food? Well, that’s the question, isn’t it?"

"There were times in my life I fasted for days, consuming nothing but water or diet Coke ... Sometimes, as I went between wanting to recover and wanting to wallow in my disease, I’d eat one meal a day—dinner—which was not nearly enough to satisfy my deprived body and mind. I remember summers of living on rice cakes at night after a 12 hour day of work. I did not have a good relationship with food." These are the words of Arielle Lee Becker, a young woman who's blog is an inspiring testament to her recovery from Anorexia .

"I came to a crossroads," she says in her blog entry, Fighting, Facing--and Finally Embracing--Food. "I really wanted to recover. Really wanted to be all right. Really really wanted it. Wasn’t just wishing, wasn’t just hoping—I was willing to do something about it. I was willing to work, to learn, to try."

"I got good at just saying 'No. ... When I’d feel that familiar grip of anorexia, I’d say, 'No.' Figuratively, literally, whatever it took. I was bold with myself—with my disease. I did not take shit ... It takes a lot of willpower. More willpower than it takes to starve."

"I wrote. Daily. I used my writing to help me, to save me, to direct me. ... In the process I learned about myself, sought to love myself, wrote about my pain and my feelings, wrote about my struggles. I began to feel better. I began to stop counting. This was tough—to forget about sizes, forget about calories, forget about a number on a scale."

Arielle writes about giving up her scale, "...you have to work at it. You have to be strong and not allow yourself to give in. And in time you will be okay. You won’t be a slave to a device that conquers your mood and your sense of well-being. And let me tell you, without a number to dictate your daily mood, you begin to listen to yourself and to how you feel without that number. You know yourself as you never knew her before. You feel good. You feel free. You begin to finally see that you feel so good that there is no way you’d ever want to go back to that dark, horrible place you were before."

"I gained weight, but instead of being horrified by the way I looked, I appreciated the curves that were slowly showing themselves. The mirror was—strangely, I thought—more of a friend to me when I had put on some pounds than it was when I was sickly thin and longing to be thinner."

"The right path is never the easiest one, you know," she writes, "And the more you struggle, the better you will feel when you’ve overcome what it is that is bringing you down. In essence, everything worth fighting for starts with a struggle. And believe me, your health and your happiness are definitely worth fighting for."

"Listen to your soul...................... It's all about empowerment!"

To read the above in full, plus more of Arielle's inspiring writings and poetry, visit her blog: Actively Arielle: A voice with a Commitment.

Sources: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/

USING AFFIRMATIONS: Eating Disorder Recovery

Affirmations are things we tell ourselves, either negative; I'm not worthy of love, or positive; I am a worthwhile person deserving of love. Using positive affirmations repeatedly throughout the day will bring about positive change. Repetitiveness is key.

Choose positive statements set in the "now." Example: I am a worthwhile person and I am a valuable asset to those around me, instead of, I will become a worthwhile person who will be a valuable asset to those around me. If your affirmation isn't in the now then it is kept constantly in the future tense. The more positive statements we tell ourselves as if they are a current reality of our present lives the more those statements become our reality, replacing prior negative statements. Our minds react and begin to bring about change.

Suggestions:
Work on a few affirmations at a time. Once you see change in those areas, add new affirmations.

Start your day by writing down some positive affirmations several times on a piece of paper and then do it again in the evening before retiring for the night. The process of writing them down actually speeds up the minds acceptance.

Write several affirmations on index cards, carry them with you, take them out and read them several times a day.

When you find yourself having a negative thought, stop and replace it with a positive affirmation.

Write down a favorite affirmation and tape it to a mirror that you look into every day. Read it each time you use that mirror. Say it out loud, several times. Seeing your reflection while you read/say aloud your affirmation can be powerful.

Place your written affirmations (one per piece of paper or index card) in other places where you will see them often.

Meditate on your affirmations. Take a few minutes to close your eyes and concentrate on what your affirmation means to you. Repeat an affirmation over and over again. Use it as your mantra.

Visualize your old, negative affirmation disappearing and the new one taking form and taking it's place. A couple of ways to do this: visualize the old one fading as the new one comes into focus, growing in clarity or see yourself throwing the old one into the trash (or burning it) and hugging the new one to yourself.

Some Affirmations for Eating Disorder Recovery:

"I will persist until I succeed."
"I deserve love and respect as I am."

Do you have a favorite affirmation(s), a favorite way in which you use affirmations, or a story of how affirmations have helped you? Please leave a comment and share them with us all.

For more Affirmations and the ones listed above:
Something Fishy
Poppink


Also see sidebar for:
Inspirational Recovery Quotes
Quotes of the Week
Resources
Tools




sources:
http://www.something-fishy.org/reach/affirmations.php
http://poppink.com/guide/edcgaffrm.html
http://www.self-help-and-self-development.com/affirmations.html
picture source: MrsMenopausal