Weighing The Facts

Dearest Body,

O boy have we been through a lot;
That today you deserve to be put on the spot.
Like a machine you relentlessly work and you work,
That I owe you this Ode to My Body as a sense of artwork!
So here’s to the gift of my hard working body,
Without you I’d be plainly, literally, and completely a nobody!

Here’s to the gift of my long, strawberry blonde hair
People tell me they want it, that it’s beauty so rare!
I remember when I was little I would take every curl
I’d wrap them around my fingers and I’d twirl and I’d twirl.
Later I’d style you for dance and for cheer
But inside my self-confidence was so insincere.
I caused you to come out in bunches in my brush
The reality of losing you was a detrimental crush!
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my head and my neck
My feeding and eating habits made you completely a wreck.
You give me a place to hang my cross
It is my constant and without it I’d be at a loss!
Inside is my brain with thoughts so, so clear
I could solve any problem without uncertainty and fear,
But I starved you of the nutrients and vitamins you desperately need
I could not even think, I must concede.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my big, bright blue eyes
People always said you had it in you to mesmerize.
You introduced me to Harry Potter, Disney, and Twilight,
You would see something and my imagination would ignite.
Starving myself caused clear vision to severely decline,
You lost your sparkle and twinkle and ability to shine.
But I’ll care for you now, I need you for life
So I can look into my husband’s eyes the day I become his wife.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my little button nose
From my mom’s scent, to the smell of sunscreen, Hawaii, and Disneyland I propose
You allow me to enjoy all the different, unique smells
They are varied and wonderful and I’m easily compelled
To thank the Lord I’ve chosen to live
And I hope that you’ll find a way to forgive
All the mistakes I foolishly made
Trying to be a part of a fake, false masquerade.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my wiggly, little ears
You help me to hear so very loud and clear.
You let me hear the sweet sound of my mom’s embracing voice,
And the heavenly songs in my church to rejoice.
You capture the powerful sounds of Phantom, Wicked, and more,
You let me hear the cries, cheers, raindrops, ocean, and all sounds galore,
And when I found I needed a new way to cope
You help me to listen to my counselors who gave me new hope.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my mouth and my tongue
You have both taken care of me since I was very young.
As a child I simply saw food, and naturally ate,
Food caused me no fear, it was not something to hate.
You allow me to smile, laugh, and kiss,
But limiting food intake caused the joy to be missed.
So now I’m determined to savor and to eat
All the foods that you love from spaghetti to even a treat.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my very straight teeth,
And the gums that are found right there underneath.
I made you crooked when I sucked both my thumbs,
But we got through years of surgeries and braces, we both thought we’d never overcome.
People always tell me they like my sweet smile
Like it’s a part of my very own special style.
Yet I caused you to whither till you bled and felt pain,
Malnutrition was the cause which I could not contain.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my strong, dancer’s arms,
When dancing they made my movements full of charm.
You allow me to cheer and take in a warm hug,
Family and friends made me feel nice and strong.
But lack of nutrition caused you to become weak,
And my hopes for happiness became extremely bleak.
You need energy to dance, swim, and shop
To keep my strong hugs coming and to never, ever stop.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two, pretty hands
You allow me to stick to all of my plans,
To stay very safe when crossing the street,
When shopping with mom or to go trick-or-treat.
My mom and dad would tightly hold on and protect me from harm,
Hand-in-hand, there was never any need for alarm.
I thank you for holding on in dance, church, and on rides at Disneyland;
I always knew safety would be close at hand.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my long, lady fingers
You allow me to text and answer my phone’s funny ringer.
You help me to drive and tie my shoes,
And to help on vacations while my dad barbeques.
But by restricting my food I made you cramp and shake,
My knuckles would throb, tingle, and ache.
But that’s all different now, I have something to declare,
I promise to take care of you, on that I pinky swear.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my twenty strong nails,
You make me feel pretty like a young female.
You’ve been pink, you’ve been blue, and occasionally even black,
Glitter and designs are what I see when I often flashback.
But lack of calories made you brittle and dry,
You’d crack and you’d bleed and I’d cry and I’d cry.
Feeding you now has helped me to fix
All the problems you had, I know I must not restrict.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my constant beating heart,
Without you healthy my whole life would completely fall apart.
You keep my blood moving, you help me to breathe air,
If you don’t have health, I don’t even have a prayer.
By limiting my food, you worked harder than you should
It finally took passing out till I really understood.
But I realize now and promise to care
For with the health of my heart, my love I can easily share.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my life-giving blood,
You help me each day as you constantly flood
My body with oxygen and nutrients and more
That kept me healthy and helped me soar,
But I weakened my body and made your job hard
That even my liver became fatally scarred.
In the hospital they took you by gallons it seemed
Until the tests came out better and made home not such a dream.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my stomach so tough,
You’d talk and you’d talk when I didn’t eat enough.
I tried not to listen, and push you out of my head,
And allow the negative thoughts quickly to spread.
Now you have shrunk, and it’s harder to eat,
but I’m committed to prove this disorder I can beat.
I’m realizing now, I can eat without fear,
And not worry that people will see you and wrongly jeer.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my ever-repairing liver,
The damage I did to you makes me quiver and shiver.
You balance my body and filter my blood,
When I think of how I hurt you my tears begin to flood
By starving myself, my body consumed you,
Saving my life meant taking a complete new avenue.
By refeeding right now, my enzyme count quickly drops,
Saving you saves my life, and I know this wont stop.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two tiny kidneys,
You filter my blood so I’m not ill at ease.
Keeping you healthy keeps me in the game,
But the way I did treat you fills me with shame.
Without the correct calories you worked overtime;
Recovery was a mountain I knew I’d must climb,
But I’m committed to eat well and do what I must,
I need you to know, in me you can trust.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of two strong, dancer’s legs and feet,
You made it possible to dance to every beat.
You walked me to school day in and day out,
Tired and sore while my muscles would shout.
You help me to get back on the grand stage for each dance,
For each graceful pliae and every awe inspiring stance.
Until my lack of food caused you to collapse,
I knew it was time to do much more than just pray, perhaps.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my numerous muscles and joints,
I’d like to get quickly right to the point.
You help me to move and get me to where I need to go;
You help me to travel to and fro.
I did not feed you with all that you need;
You lost out on all complete accuracy and speed.
But I promise to stick to the food plan I’ve made;
I know you are strong, and I’ll get repaid.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two hundred, six bones,
You have helped me to stand tall as I have grown;
You give me my posture and define my shape;
You allow my clothes to properly drape.
I foolishly deprived you of the calcium you need,
I sure did put my life in danger, this is surely indeed.
I’m feeding you now, I’m well on my way,
Osteoporosis will never be a part of my day.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my strong, resilient skin,
You hold extreme softness and toughness within.
You’re the home to every blessed angel kiss,
And the keeper of my tattoo that brings me extreme bliss.
In the hospital you got poked hour by hour,
And held the painful I.V. that made me cower.
The goosebumps that came on a body like mine,
Should have been seen as a warning sign.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

So thank you again for never giving up
For working so hard, performing and never about to ever erupt.
You have stayed with me no matter my thoughtlessness to you
You have continued to function as I daily get a clue.
I love you, I’ll care for you, I’ll continue refeeding;
With every success we will make, we are one step closer to defeating
this deadly disorder and sick way of mind,
one day, I know it’s close, we will definitely put behind!

Love,
Me

Written by: Emily Woodhouse

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picture source:http://www.flickr.com/photos/arnoarno/2949140143/

Recovery Quote Of The Week: June 29th, 2010

Dearest Body; I Promise To Keep Mending The Damage I've Done.

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