Showing posts with label negative self-worth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative self-worth. Show all posts

Body Image: My Own Worst Enemy





















 

 Looking back, I don’t remember a time that I liked my body or felt comfortable in my own skin. Somehow, early on, I came to the conclusion that my appearance fell far short of anyone else around me. My friends were thinner, prettier, and much more confident than I could ever hope to be. While they relished a new outfit, a skimpy summer bikini, and the physical changes that come with maturing, I was consumed with doubt and a deep feeling of inadequacy. I always felt fat. Always. I still do. I look through pictures of my childhood and staring back at me is evidence of a normal sized kid looking very uncomfortable at being caught on camera. There are pictures that show weight fluctuations but nothing that, in my opinion now, required much fussing over.

My mother was a dieter. She was always trying to lose weight and she never hesitated to take me along for the ride. I attended weight watchers with her. I attended overeaters anonymous with her. I counted calories with her. I learned the many evils that food presented and how its misuse was evident on thighs, tummies, and even the width of a wrist.  I don’t recall it all in great detail. For some reason it comes back to me in bits and pieces with a word here, an action there, or the recollection of a disapproving look.  I don’t think that my mother’s intent was to make me feel bad about my body, or insecure about my worth. At least I hope not. I think that she was uncomfortable with her own appearance and dealing with insecurities of her own. Inevitably, it managed to spill over into my life, wiggle its way in and, as time went on, I made it my own.

My self-talk became brutal. It carried a punch and I used it daily to beat down any chance of a positive self-image. I became my own worst enemy. Not only were those brutal words being said inside of my head, they began to spill out of my mouth in an attempt to save myself from humiliation. "After all", I'd tell myself, "how much can someone hurt you with their words if you’ve already beaten them to it?" I wouldn’t know the full impact of that for many years. I’m not sure that I know it now.  I did become more informed, eventually. With that came awareness, and with awareness came remorse. I felt such an overwhelming sense of loss. A sense of loss for the person I could have been and the life I could have had, had I learned early on what truly mattered, what truly made a person worthwhile. A sense of loss for the person I could have become if I had learned to appreciate myself, physically and otherwise.

Remorse is fine and dandy if you pay attention to the lesson learned, put it to good use, and let the rest go. Letting go takes practice and understanding. Remorse doesn’t benefit anyone as a constant companion. What I’ve come to realize is that somewhere down the line I have to let go and move on.  I have to make for myself a present (and a future) filled with what I wished-for for my younger self.  It’s in my hands. I’m responsible for giving it to myself. 

It's taking time. Little by little, I’m kicking out the negative stuff that’s roamed freely in my head for so long and I’m making room. I’m working hard to fill up those voids with more positive, understanding, self-appreciative, and loving thoughts. My intent is to make them permanent residents of my being.  This is perhaps the biggest and most important personal challenge I will ever face. The most difficult, too. Still, I don’t care how hard it proves to be, or how long it takes me. After all these years I finally understand how important it is and that  I can do this. I’m worth it.  I am worth it.

E.M.

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Self-Worth Quotes: Eating Disorders Recovery



"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love & affection."
Buddah

"Self-worth comes from one thing ... thinking that you are worthy."
Wayne Dyer

"A person's worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having."
Alice Mary Hilton

"Accept everything about yourself, I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end, no apologies, no regrets."
Clark Moustakas

"The investments we make in ourselves, will always deliver the most profitable returns."
Sumner Davenport

"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others."
Dr. Sonya Friedman

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
Harvey Fienstein

“When you're a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you. Jealousy is the result of one's lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance. The Lesson: If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.”
Sasha Azevedo

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes."
Sally Field

"When you understand that your self-worth is not determined by your net-worth, then you'll have financial freedom"
Suze Orman

"The greatest success is successful self-acceptance."
Ben Sweet

“Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.”
Elizabeth O'Connor

"As long as we look outside of Self - with a capital S - to find out who we are, to define ourselves and give us self-worth, we are setting ourselves up to be victims."
Robert Burney

"Every individual has a place to fill in the world, and is important, in some respect, whether he chooses to be so or not."
Nathaniel Hawthorn

“When your self-worth goes up, your net worth goes up with it.”
Mark Victor Hanson

"When it looks like everyone is against you, look inside for the truth."
Sumner Davenport

“The promises of this world are, for the most part, vain phantoms; and to confide in one's self, and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.”
Michelangelo

"If I am not for myself, who will be?"
Pirke Avoth

"Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality."
Les Brown

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think."
Benjamin Disraeli

"We never know the worth of water until the well is dry."
Thomas Fuller

"Accept yourself as you are right now; an imperfect, changing, growing and worthy person."
Denis Waitley

“Who I am today is a constant reminder of what I took from my past challenges.”
Godsway Sappor

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."
Janis Joplin

"An individual's self-concept is the core of his personality. It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life."
Dr. Joyce Brothers

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people."
Aldous Huxley

"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean security and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child and you learn to build your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight after a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so, you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers and you learn you really can endure that you really are strong you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every good-bye you learn."
Anonymous

More on Self-Worth:

Self-Worth: The Unconditional Love Of Self

Self- Love Quotes
Using Affirmations

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Self-Worth: The Unconditional Love of Self






















Often self-worth is confused with self-esteem. They are not the same. There are inherent differences. Self-esteem, good or bad, is learned. It is an outer expression. It is shaped by many things such as our experiences, our abilities (or lack there of), our upbringing, and so on. It often waxes and wanes depending on what we are dealing with at any given time. That's not to say that we can't learn to have a healthy, positive self-esteem if we currently do not. We can.

Self-worth, on the other hand, is an inner expression. It is self-love. It is something you enter this world already possessing. It is yours without question, an integral part of your being. It can be nurtured and appreciated, or ignored and forgotten. No matter how you choose to treat your self-worth it never fails to retain it's innate value because self worth has nothing to do with what type of car you drive, your occupation, how much you weigh, your age, your finances, how others view you, or even your opinion of it. That doesn't mean that how you view your self-worth isn't important and doesn't affect how you feel it's just that,
do to it what you will, it is still what it is ... invaluable.

Let us pretend that self-worth is a tangible object. Hold it in your hand. Turn it over, and over, and study it. You will find that it's comprised of unconditional self-love, acceptance, and joy. You may see faded remnants of your past mistakes in there, or your own dysfunctional opinion of yourself but look closely and you will see they are embraced by understanding and the acceptance that life consists of making mistakes and the lessons learned from them. It's this acceptance of yourself, and your right to love yourself despite anything that happens, that makes self-worth so valuable.

Losing sight of one's own self-worth is more common than many may realize. When we do not take the time to acknowledge our worth, appreciate it, and nurture it, the result is often a loss of self-confidence, a lack of joy, and a host of other negative emotions. Recognizing your self worth is extremely important. When you do this you reap the benefits of self-acceptance, self-confidence, motivation, and happiness.


Though self-worth is a permanent part of your being, the condition it is in is entirely up to you. When you have sole control over something it is your responsibility for it's outcome and your sense of worth falls into this category.
You get to decide how healthy it is, how well it is recognized and expressed. Nurturing the concept that you are worthy is empowering. Loving yourself is not selfish or narcissistic. Loving yourself enables you to love others more effectively.

Accepting that you are worthy leads to a more fulfilling and happy life. So...


*Love yourself.

*Accept yourself.

*Forgive yourself.

*Be kind to yourself.

*Believe in yourself.

*Take care of yourself.

*Accept that you will make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes. Accept that this is an inevitable part of this wonderful experience called life and has no bearing on your self-worth.

*Do not define your worth by your role in life (parent, child, mother, father, spouse), your career/job, or position. Self-worth has nothing to do with these roles.

*Realize that you are unique.


*Recognize and celebrate the many aspects of who you are.



"As long as we look outside of Self - with a capital S - to find out who we are, to define ourselves and give us self-worth, we are setting ourselves up to be victims."
Robert Burney


"Through self-doubt, we lose our sense of self-worth."
Unknown

"Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self-worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has."
Unknown

"If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will."
Sasha Azevedo

"A conviction of self-worth and passion for ideals fuse in a life attitude that is positive, free, noble and spiritually enhancing."
Bill Jay

"Our sense of self-worth is also key to being able to appreciate the other factors of fulfillment. Interestingly, feeling compassion for others is the most reliable way to increase our own self-worth."
Dalai Lama

see also:




quote sources:
http://en.thinkexist.com/reference/self_worth_quotes/
http://www.selfesteemawareness.com/self-esteem-self-worth-quotes.htm