Self-Defining Personal Beauty

Just because you are blind and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 

I love this quote by Margaret Cho. "My beauty," she says. How potent a statement that is. She's not comparing herself to anyone else or condemning herself for not meeting the beauty standards so often set by society and so deeply ingrained in our culture. She is claiming her uniqueness, her personal beauty despite another's possible inability to see it for themselves. That's powerful!

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

Confucius

We, all too often, fall into the trap of disliking ourselves simply because we don't look like the images we see everyday, an altered beauty that is impossible to achieve. Photoshopped thinness, erased blemishes and imperfections, plumped and distorted body parts have become the norm. We rely on these images and the opinions of others to define us, so much so that we have blinded ourselves to the beauty we posses... our personal, unique beauty.

If you look closely at a tree you'll notice it's knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully.

Matthew Fox

There is a kind of beauty in imperfection.

Conrad Hall

How much time have you wasted by not recognizing your own beauty? How many things have you avoided because of how you perceive yourself? How much more are you willing to miss out on?

Beauty is not about how we look. Beauty is so much more. It's a glorious compilation of all the things that makes us who we are. It is self-defined. Self-defined. That makes it the responsibility of each of us to recognize it, nurture it, and proclaim it as our own no matter what anyone else thinks. 

It's time to reevaluate, redefine, and reaffirm our own personal beauty. It is time to refuse to let the blindness of others to affect our own sight. It is time to confidently present ourselves to the world with self-acceptance, self-love, and self-respect. That is positively mesmerizing. That is... beautiful!

Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.

Sophia Loren

There is no definition of beauty, but when you can see someone's spirit coming through, something unexplainable, that's beautiful to me.

Liv Tyler

Anything in any way beautiful derives its beauty from itself and asks nothing beyond itself. Praise is no part of it, for nothing is made worse or better by praise.

Marcus Aurelius

picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/starsalive/4012182601/

Recovery: How Much Longer?

How much longer are you going to allow your value to be determined by your appearance? How much longer will you put off joy in wait of that one thing that will finally make you deserving? How much longer are you willing to deprive yourself of happiness because of a number, a history, a preconceived notion of beauty? How much longer?
MrsM

Dear Body: A Letter of Apology and Gratitude

Dear Body,
I know that we haven't always been close or even on friendly terms and the amount of abuse that you have suffered at my expense is astronomical but I am here to apologize and show my gratitude.

I am sorry for using you as a way to convey my pain and suffering. For all of the times that I starved you and overexercised to get my point across. For all of the harsh words that were uttered in your direction in order to avoid my true fears and feelings. For every time I walked past a mirror and shuttered at you/my reflection. For losing trust in your ability to function and do your thing. I am sorry for trying to manipulate you in ways that were harmful. For punishing you when you were not the one to blame. For taking out every hateful and painful thing that has ever been done to me, on you. But I am mostly sorry for using you as my voice when I couldn't find mine.

Body, I think your resilience is amazing. Thank you so much for continuing to fight when I had stopped and for never giving up on me. For continuing to function when you were past running on empty. Thank you for never completely giving out on me. But even more so, thanks for the reminders that I was still alive; the horrible pangs of hunger that couldn't be ignored, the fatigue, dizziness and lack of energy that no amount of sleep could cure and even the never ending coldness and the temporary loss of my period over the years. Although I usually reacted with anger and further destruction, these signs forced me to see the truth. Forced me to face the reality of the situation that I was killing myself. That I am human and not invincible. And I am thankful for these reminders before it was too late.

Thank you legs for being pillars of strength. For allowing me to walk, run and be a great athlete. For enduring long obsessive workouts and a lot of scrutiny from me. For being muscular and never letting me forget where I come from. Thighs and calves, I am sorry for cursing your size, trying to make you smaller and berating you for your inability to fit in skinny jeans. Without you I wouldn't have been able and continue to be able to do a lot of cool things like triathlons, tread water, rock climb and even walk the dog. Butt, I am sorry for trying to make you disappear and for cringing every time I catch a glimpse of you in the mirror. I hope to one day appreciate you and compliment you as much as John does. Hips, thanks for being wide and pronounced. One day you are going to make being pregnant and having a kid a little easier. Chest, I know that we have had a love hate relationship, but independent of your size, thanks for reminding me that I am a woman. Arms, shoulders and back, thanks for being strong. For allowing me to swim and for gracefully enduring all of the lengthy training and workouts that I have put you through. I am sorry for the years that I spent angry at you for being broad and for all of the times I stood in the dressing room defeated because you couldn't fit comfortably in a certain shirt or dress. You allow me to do awesome things like kayak, cuddle, hug and carry children.

I am sorry for all of the times that I believed that weight loss was the answer and forced you down to sizes that were not healthy and put you into survival mode. Organs, I am sorry for forcing you to work overtime and even start to shut down because of my overexertion and lack of nourishment. I am sorry for allowing you to be touched inappropriately and for repeatedly enduring abuse by others. I am sorry for not speaking up on your behalf and saying no. But mostly I am sorry for continuing the abuse and self hatred, even after others stopped.

Body, I know that we have been through hell together and that there are still a lot of reparations to be made and that you are still hesitant and questioning my intentions. I know that gaining back my trust is going to take time but I am so glad to be able to call you home. Just like you never gave up on me, I will never give up on you ever again. Although I know that there will be slips on the way and I might not always show my love and appreciation so openly, I am looking forward to reconnecting with you; learning how to listen to your signals, feed you properly, rest when needed, trust your abilities and wisdom, as well as appreciate your strength, size and beauty. I know you may not believe this after all of the abuse and pain that I have put you through, but I think you are amazing and I am glad to call you mine.

Love,
Daniella

*see menu in sidebar for more eating disorder and body image submissions.


picsourcehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/skipnclick/2945026921/

10 Ways to Lighten Emotional Burdens & Create Change In The New Year

What is the number one New Years resolution, year after year? Is it health or happiness? No. More time with family and friends? No, not that, either. A financial windfall? Not even money makes the top of the list. It's weight loss.

Surprised? I wasn't, either.

There's a real shortage of self-appreciation, self-love, and self-acceptance in our society. We look at ourselves with a sharp, critical eye that's been honed to find each and every imperfection. We compare ourselves to others instead of accepting and celebrating our differences. We allow ourselves to be defined by our perceived shortcomings which, in turn, begins the cycle of self-deprecation. When I lose this weight I'll finally be happy. I wouldn't look so bad if my thighs weren't so big. If I looked like__, my life would be amazing. If I wasn't such a mess, I'd have gotten that job..... and so on, and so on. Why would it be a surprise to find that with all that we could aim for in the coming New Year, our appearance tops the list?

The reasons for how we view our bodies, and why we feel about them as we do, are as diverse as the bodies we've been taught (or have learned) to hate. No matter the reason, it's time that we put a stop to this, break the never ending cycle, and start to build a loving, healthy relationship with ourselves... and our bodies.

Let's resolve to focus less on losing body weight this year and focus more on losing the weight of the emotional burdens we carry with us every day. Those excessive, self-loathing, depressing, guilt-filled burdens that serve no positive purpose and that deprive us of living fully and joyfully. Yes, let's lose those. They are a heavy weight that we were never meant to bear.


10 Ways to Lighten Emotional Burdens and Create Change

  1. let go of resentments
  2. stop dragging the past into the present
  3. forgive and be forgiven
  4. appreciate your body, your spirit, yourself
  5. let go of negative self-talk
  6. stop comparing yourself to others
  7. accept yourself completely without
      prejudice to your appearance
  8. let go of thoughts/memories that do not
      serve to heal, help, or support you
  9. let go of feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy
10. move past what has held you back...
      with positivity, courage, and conviction


You may find the New Year to be a symbolic time to implement change but if you don't, the truth is that change doesn't require a special day. It can be created at any time... with huge leaps or small steps. It all depends on what works best for you. Just begin. Start. Difficult or easy, make it happen. You are capable and worthy of the change you seek.


Happy New Year! 
MrsM.

see also:
10 Self-Nurturing New Year's Resolutions
An Exercise in Bringing About Change
5 Things You Can Do Right Now to Change Your Life
Letting Go Of Resentment 
15 Quotes For Recovery In This Brand NewYear
What Are You Afraid Of? (Change)
Is What's Holding You Back Worth Holding On To?
Recovery and The New Year
New Beginnings 



....
new years stat source:http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,2040218,00.html
picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/25297401@N08/5344318688/

Recovery Image: Stop!

Click to enlarge
Stop putting yourself down, comparing yourself to others, holding on to past mistakes, counting failures instead of blessings, hating your body, punishing yourself, expecting perfection, waiting, mourning 'what ifs' and 'could haves,' allowing what was to decide what could be. Let go. Move Forward. Stay Positive. Believe.
MrsM


See sidebar for more recovery images and quotes

picsourcehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/inoxkrow/150080109/

Body Image: My Own Worst Enemy

 

 Looking back, I don’t remember a time that I liked my body or felt comfortable in my own skin. Somehow, early on, I came to the conclusion that my appearance fell far short of anyone else around me. My friends were thinner, prettier, and much more confident than I could ever hope to be. While they relished a new outfit, a skimpy summer bikini, and the physical changes that come with maturing, I was consumed with doubt and a deep feeling of inadequacy. I always felt fat. Always. I still do. I look through pictures of my childhood and staring back at me is evidence of a normal sized kid looking very uncomfortable at being caught on camera. There are pictures that show weight fluctuations but nothing that, in my opinion now, required much fussing over.

My mother was a dieter. She was always trying to lose weight and she never hesitated to take me along for the ride. I attended weight watchers with her. I attended overeaters anonymous with her. I counted calories with her. I learned the many evils that food presented and how its misuse was evident on thighs, tummies, and even the width of a wrist.  I don’t recall it all in great detail. For some reason it comes back to me in bits and pieces with a word here, an action there, or the recollection of a disapproving look.  I don’t think that my mother’s intent was to make me feel bad about my body, or insecure about my worth. At least I hope not. I think that she was uncomfortable with her own appearance and dealing with insecurities of her own. Inevitably, it managed to spill over into my life, wiggle its way in and, as time went on, I made it my own.

My self-talk became brutal. It carried a punch and I used it daily to beat down any chance of a positive self-image. I became my own worst enemy. Not only were those brutal words being said inside of my head, they began to spill out of my mouth in an attempt to save myself from humiliation. "After all", I'd tell myself, "how much can someone hurt you with their words if you’ve already beaten them to it?" I wouldn’t know the full impact of that for many years. I’m not sure that I know it now.  I did become more informed, eventually. With that came awareness, and with awareness came remorse. I felt such an overwhelming sense of loss. A sense of loss for the person I could have been and the life I could have had, had I learned early on what truly mattered, what truly made a person worthwhile. A sense of loss for the person I could have become if I had learned to appreciate myself, physically and otherwise.

Remorse is fine and dandy if you pay attention to the lesson learned, put it to good use, and let the rest go. Letting go takes practice and understanding. Remorse doesn’t benefit anyone as a constant companion. What I’ve come to realize is that somewhere down the line I have to let go and move on.  I have to make for myself a present (and a future) filled with what I wished-for for my younger self.  It’s in my hands. I’m responsible for giving it to myself. 

It's taking time. Little by little, I’m kicking out the negative stuff that’s roamed freely in my head for so long and I’m making room. I’m working hard to fill up those voids with more positive, understanding, self-appreciative, and loving thoughts. My intent is to make them permanent residents of my being.  This is perhaps the biggest and most important personal challenge I will ever face. The most difficult, too. Still, I don’t care how hard it proves to be, or how long it takes me. After all these years I finally understand how important it is and that  I can do this. I’m worth it.  I am worth it.

E.M.

You can find more reader submissions in the sidebar drop down menu.

Click here to share your ED/Body Image poetry, writings, or story. 

 picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/12910342@N08/3942092659/sizes/z/

Eating Disorders Awareness Week: Did You Know......?

Did you know that ...

• Americans spend more than 40 billion a year on diet and beauty products
• The average American woman is 5'4" and 140 pounds
• The average American model is 5' 11" and 117 pounds
• The current media ideal of thinness is achieved by less than 5% of the female population
• more than 50% of 10 year old girls wish they were thinner
• 8 out 10 women are not happy with their reflection 
• 8 million people in the US suffer from an ED
• 90% are women/girls
• 10 to 15 percent are male
• 15 percent of young women in the US who are not diagnosed with an eating disorder exhibit substantially disordered eating behavior and attitude.
• Approximately 50 percent of anorexics will develop bulimia or bulimic behaviors.
• 90 percent of women with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25.
• Approximately 60 percent of those with an eating disorder that seek treatment will recover.
• Without treatment up to 20 percent of those with serious eating disorders will die.
• 80% of children are afraid of being fat

• In your lifetime 50,000 people will die as a direct result of their Eating Disorder.

 Click here for:

* Eating Disorders Help: Hotlines, Websites, Organizations

 

picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/royblumenthal/2574833687/
information compiled from the following sites:
http://www.eatingdisorderinfo.org
http://www.anred.com

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week: Let's Get Started

Eating Disorders affect 1 in 5 women 

and more than a million boys/men.  

NEDA Asks That You Do  

Just One Thing 

 to spread awareness about eating disorders.

What Can You Do?

 NEDA:

•  Everyone Can Do Just One Thing 
• Video Resource List  
• NEDA's Partner Orgs check them out for some excellent resources, information, and inspiration.
• Sign the No Weigh Declaration 
• Join NEDA's first annual "Virtual Walk," and spread awareness by posting, tweeting, blogging, talking, and walking.
• Check out NEDA's Tool Kits

Speak Up and Reach Out

• If you're keeping your ED a secret please reach out and tell someone.
• Share your story, struggles, and successes with others.
• Find support in your community, online, friends, and/or family.
• Seek professional help.

ED Resources and Information

• What is an Eating Disorder?
  
• Eating Disorder Help/ Resources
• Mental Health Help/ Resources

please see sidebar drop down menus for more info/links/resources

NEDA Video PSA Contest: It's Time To Talk About It

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is right around the corner and NEDA is having a Public Service Announcement Video Contest. Want to use your creativity and experience to help spread the word and have a chance at some great prizes, too?

Submit an original PSA for a chance to win one of three exciting prizes, including a trip to NEDA's annual Benefit Dinner in New York City, cash prizes, your PSA featured at NEDA's annual conference and more!

What you can win:

1st Place Grand Prize:

• Airfare to/from New York City (domestic only).
• Two NYC hotel nights.
• One ticket admission to NEDA’s 10th Anniversary New York Benefit Dinner.
• $200 prize/travel money.
• PSA will be shown at the Benefit Dinner.
• PSA will be featured on NEDA’s website and made available to media outlets.
• PSA will be featured at NEDA’s annual conference in Los Angeles, CA, October 2011.

2nd Place Prize:

• $100 in cash.
• PSA featured on NEDA’s website.
• PSA will be shown at NEDA’s annual conference in Los Angeles, CA, October 2011.

3rd Place Prize:

• $50 in cash.
• PSA featured on NEDA’s website.
• PSA featured at NEDA’s annual conference in Los Angeles, CA, October 2011.

Find out more about the contest.

pic source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/blhphotography/413048219/sizes/z/in/photostream/

info source: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/programs-events/video-contest.php

Eating Disorders Recovery: Self-Soothing Techniques

Using self-soothing techniques can be a strong defense when stress, circumstances beyond our control, or negative thoughts and feelings become overwhelming.



Soothe:

–verb

1. to tranquilize or calm, as a person or the feelings; relieve, comfort, or refresh

2. to mitigate, assuage, or allay, as pain, sorrow, or doubt

3.to exert a soothing influence; bring tranquility, calm, ease, or comfort.

Nurturing Your 5 Senses

Our 5 senses are powerful. What we hear, touch, see, smell, and taste can have a profound impact on our feelings and mood. Although it's impossible to always be in control of what our senses are exposed to, we can make a conscious effort to supply them with things that calm and soothe us, and lift our spirits. 

When you choose to do something to soothe yourself let everything go and be in the moment. Truly immerse yourself and allow what you're doing to seep deep into your being. Put everything else aside, relax and enjoy it while it's happening.


Hear

• take a walk along the beach and enjoy the sound of the waves, the seagulls
• stretch out on a blanket in the woods and listen to the birds, the wind through the trees, the gurgling of a brook
• play music that makes you feel calm, comforted, safe
• listen to a CD of nature sounds (the ocean, rain, birds singing...)

Feel

• take your shoes off and walk in the sand, grass, or along the water's edge
• soak in a warm bath (use a scented bath oil or favorite bubble bath)
• float in a pool and feel the water around you
• sink into soft sheets/comfortable bed
• wrap yourself in a blanket still warm from the dryer
• slip into your favorite, softest robe

See

• take a walk through a park and enjoy nature
• spread a blanket on the beach and watch the waves
• sit in a garden and enjoy the flowers, bees, butterflies
• study a favorite piece of art
• look through your favorite pictures
• take a ride through your favorite part of town
• spread a blanket under the stars
• treat yourself to your favorite flowers and put them somewhere you'll see them often

Smell

• light a scented candle
• walk outside after it's rained
• step into a florist shop or garden and smell the flowers
• put on your favorite perfume
• shower with scented soap
• spritz your sheets with a favorite scent before bed

Taste

• enjoy a cup of your favorite tea (notice the taste, the warmth of the cup in your hands, the warmth of the liquid)
• cook your favorite meal
• have a picnic and invite a friend
• try something new and different 

 Breathe 

Sit comfortably (if possible), spine straight, feet on the floor, shoulders and arms relaxed. Keep your throat open and your lips slightly parted. Close your eyes. Breath in slowly, through you're nose, to a slow count of 5. Let your tummy expand with each breath. Once you get the feel of how long a 5 count breath is, stop counting them. Let the breath linger for a moment before exhaling slowly through your mouth for 5 counts. (The best example that I've heard of on how this is done is see your breath like a wave that washes up onto the shore and lingers before receding back into the ocean).



Visualize

Use the above breathing technique. Choose a word that you can relate to how you want to feel, such as "relax, calm, or safe." Say this word to yourself as you exhale. As you begin to relax, picture yourself walking along a beautiful beach (or any other place that suits you). Take in the sounds and sights... the waves, the gulls, the wind. Feel the warmth of the sun and the cool breeze on your skin. Feel the sand under your feet. Notice how blue the water and the sky are. The tall grasses move gently with the breeze. Make it as vivid as you can, filled with the imagery of the things you find beautiful, enjoyable, and relaxing.



Positive Self-Talk

What we tell ourselves is powerful.What we attached to the word "I" has a deep impact on us. We all get negative thoughts now and again and the anxiety, guilt, shame, and stress they bring with them. When the old tapes start playing and we find ourselves faced with negative self talk, it's time to switch gears and provide positive, self nurturing replacements. Examples:

• I am a good person
• I can accomplish anything
• I am special 
• I am worth knowing
• I am happy
• I am capable
• I am smart
• I am confident
• I am learning
• I am growing
• I am successful

Journaling

 Bottling up our feelings, fears, and negative thoughts will not make them go away.Get it out. Put them to paper.



Acknowledge and Act

• acknowledge how you're feeling
• accept your feelings
• take time to calm yourself
• reinforce with positive self-talk

Practice, Practice, Practice!

The more you practice taking care of yourself, the easier it becomes. Don't get frustrated if the first few times you try to visualize your beautiful beach (or whatever place you have chosen) that you're unable to see it clearly. That's to be expected for most of us. It will become clearer with practice.

Each time you replace a negative thought or negative self-talk with positive alternatives you're changing  how you perceive yourself and eventually it will become easier and easier to do.

When you're short on time or in a situation where you're unable to do anything that takes you away from what you're doing, slip in a few deep, slow breaths. It will help de-stress and calm you.

Notice and enjoy the little things. Promise yourself that you'll take a moment to enjoy at least one thing everyday that you normally pass by without appreciating. It doesn't have to be anything big or important. Have you ever studied the intricate design of a spider web? Pretty amazing.

Relax. Breathe. Nurture. Enjoy. You deserve it!


*See sidebar for more recovery tools and inspiration.




picture source:http://www.flickr.com/photos/cosmonautirussi/2342570786/
disclaimer

Eating Disorders Bloggers: What Some Are Discussing This Month

Natasha's Story: "I Was Raised Thinking I Had No Worth, No Place In This World."
Medusa

Hi Medusa,
My name is Natasha and I am 18 years old. When I think about my life, I'm never really sure when exactly I started hating myself. I had suicidal thoughts when I was around 9 years old. I was raised thinking I had no worth, no place in this world. My stepmother starved me, beat me, and ridiculed me daily.
Read in full: Natasha's Story



Being Rational
ED Bites

Although I've never experienced a full-blown psychotic episode, I found myself nodding my head in agreement with this neuroscientist's description of her own psychosis.

"Erin, you are a scientist," they'd begin. "You are intelligent, rational. Tell me, then, how can you believe that there are rats inside your brain? They're just plain too big. Besides, how could they get in?"

They were right. About my being smart, I mean; I was, after all, a graduate student in the neuroscience program at the University of British Columbia. But how could they relate that rationality to the logic of the Deep Meaning? For it was due to the Deep Meaning that the rats had infiltrated my system and were inhabiting my brain. They gnawed relentlessly on my neurons, causing massive degeneration. This was particularly upsetting to me, as I depended on a sharp mind for my work in neuroscience.

The rats spent significant periods of time consuming brain matter in the occipital lobe of my brain. I knew, from my studies, that this was the primary visual cortex. And yet, I experienced no visual deficits. Obviously, I realized, I had a very unique brain: I was able to regenerate large sections of my central nervous system—and to do so extremely quickly. I relaxed a bit, but not entirely. Surely no good could come of having rats feed on my brain cells. So I sought means of ridding my body of them. I bled them out through self-cutting and banging my head until the skin broke, bloody. Continually, I kept my brain active, electrocuting the rats that happened to be feasting on the activated neurons.   
Read in full: Being Rational



Don't You Realize That Fat Is Unhealthy?
Shapely Prose

Here’s the thing: I blog about fat acceptance.
Fat acceptance, as you can probably guess from the words “fat” and “acceptance” being right together like that, does not go over so well in some circles. Even in some progressive circles — which are usually known for not hating entire groups of people because of their appearances, not thinking what other people do with their bodies is anybody’s beeswax, and not uncritically accepting whatever moral panic the media tries to whip up, but wev. Fat is different! Don’t you know there’s an obesity epidemic? Don’t you know that fat kills? Haven’t you ever heard of Type 2 diabetes? Don’t you realize how much money this is going to cost society down the line? Won’t someone please think of the children?

So, before I start getting comments like that, I want to lay out ten principles that underlie pretty much everything I write about fat and health.

1. Weight itself is not a health problem, except in the most extreme cases (i.e., being underweight or so fat you’re immobilized). In fact, fat people live longer than thin people and are more likely to survive cardiac events, and some studies have shown that fat can protect against “infections, cancer, lung disease, heart disease, osteoporosis, anemia, high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis and type 2 diabetes.” Yeah, you read that right: even the goddamned diabetes. Now, I’m not saying we should all go out and get fat for our health (which we wouldn’t be able to do anyway, because no one knows how to make a naturally thin person fat any more than they know how to make a naturally fat person thin; see point 4), but I’m definitely saying obesity research is turning up surprising information all the time — much of which goes ignored by the media — and people who give a damn about critical thinking would be foolish to accept the party line on fat. Just because you’ve heard over and over and over that fat! kills! doesn’t mean it’s true. It just means that people in this culture really love saying it.
Read in full: Don't You Realize...



Eating Disorder Recovery: From Inpatient Treatment To Life
Margarita Tartakovsky

I’m thrilled to publish today’s guest post by Elizabeth Short. Just recently Elizabeth shared her story of recovery and resiliency here at Weightless (part 1 and part 2). Currently, she’s a Masters student in Counseling at The University of New Orleans, and writes the blog Fiding Hope.. Elizabeth is also in the process of  writing a memoir about her recovery. I love that Elizabeth is reaching out to others with her positive and hopeful message, and I love her guest post. It’s raw, insightful, brave and beautifully written. Plus, it offers really valuable advice. And I can’t say enough great things about it. I’m so grateful to her for sharing this with us.

Inpatient treatment for eating disorders:  Locked bathrooms.  Staff watching your every move, including time in the bathroom.  Meals and snacks are closely monitored.  No shoelaces, tweezers, coffee, gum or mouthwash.  6 a.m. weigh-ins.  Room searches.  Individual and/or group therapy all day long.

Sounds a little like prison to some, but for me, it was safety.  It meant I couldn’t restrict my intake or purge after eating.   I couldn’t use laxatives or diet pills.  I couldn’t weigh myself 50 times a day. I couldn’t stay isolated in my house for days at a time.
Read in full: From Inpatient Treatment To Life



Watch It
Happy Bodies

The other night, when refusing a second helping at a dinner party, a guy said: “None for me, I’m watching my figure.”

We all laughed.

What a silly thought, a guy, who’s young and looks fit, dieting? Ridiculous. And yet this is just expected for so many people. So often people who are read as fat (and therefore automatically unhealthy) are subjected to judgements and unwanted advice: if you only ate a little less, worked out a little more, watched your figure, you could look young and fit too!

This comment struck me particularly because I’m reading two book right now (by white men) where major female characters are made into joke figures because of their weight. While the eating habits and fitness of other characters are not chronicled, paragraphs are dedicated to Lizzyboo stopping for ice cream before dinner and every time Vera moves across a scene her jiggles or heavy breathing are remarked upon. The joke is not just fat = funny (which it isn’t) but also how stupid these women are! If she didn’t have those extra snacks she wouldn’t be such a fattie! Silly Vera, always going on binges after diets and gaining the weight back. They make it character flaw that they are fat. A flaw that they don’t know how to properly watch their figures.

A study came out recently that reported that when Forty dietetics and health promotion students enrolled in a university obesity course followed a a calorie restricted diet (1,200 calories for women and 1,500 calories for men) for just one week their was a significant change in their fat-phobias. It makes sense that once these future dietitians and health professionals realized how high the expectations were of their fat patients they would become more sympathetic. It so easy to look at someone else and think you know what is best for them, but in actuality, individuals are in the best position to make choices about their lives and bodies. Even doctors trained to take care of our health can be subject to fat-phobia, and take it out on their patients.
Read in full: Watch It 


 Reboot
Defining Wellness 

I’m proud to say I’m an optimist. Even when I’m feeling stressed, anxious or upset, and even when I’ve felt so low that I couldn’t summon the strength to get out of bed, there’s always been that voice inside of me that says, “It WILL get better. There IS hope.”
And I don’t just feel that hope for myself. I feel that hope for anyone who needs it. I believe that we all have the power to be thankful for what we have even in the midst of sadness, to take the necessary steps to make life better.
But even with this optimistic attitude, there are times when I get in a funk. I wake up and feel anxious and think, “Huh, where’d that come from?” Or I get in some kind of existential rut and I obsess about my place in the world. Or eating disorder symptoms re-emerge and I think, “You again? I thought I folded you up, packed you in a box, and buried you in a bottomless pit.”
It’s at times like these that I use that optimistic energy within me to reboot.
In a recent post, I discussed my desire to plan less . . . do more . . . NOW.
When I get in a funk, that’s half of the solution. Stop thinking about everything that’s going wrong and start living.
Read in full: Reboot



sources linked above

Love Yourself: Self-Esteem Affirmations

 See also:
Using Affirmations
Self-Worth: The Unconditional Love of Self
Self-Esteem Tests

Self Love Quotes
Self Worth Quotes
Self Empowerment Quotes


See sidebar menu for more Inspirational Recovery Quotes and Quotes of the Week.

What Is An Eating Disorder? The Signs, Symptoms, & Red Flags

What is an eating disorder?

eating disorder

Function: noun

: any of several psychological disorders (as anorexia nervosa or bulimia) characterized by serious disturbances of eating behavior

Eating disorders involve extreme behaviors, attitudes, and feelings surrounding food, weight, and body image which are harmful to a person's health and well-being.

Eating disorders are dangerous and can be fatal.

Though someone may be suffering from one eating disorder, they may also exhibit behaviors /traits of other eating disorders (or trade one eating disorder for another).

Below are some of the signs, symptoms, and red flags:

Anorexia

• refusal to eat
• intense fear of gaining weight
• distorted or negative self-image
• low blood pressure
• dry skin
• lanugo (soft, downy hair covering the body)
• sensitivity to cold
• fainting/dizziness
• irregular heart rhythm
• brittle nails
• dehydration
• hair loss/brittleness
• loss of menstruation
• swelling of arms/legs
• social withdrawal
• depressed mood
• denial of hunger
• irritability
• hair loss
• osteoporosis
• osteopenia
• heart failure
  
• reduced interest in sex
• excessive exercise
• repeated weighing of self
• cooking for others but doesn't eat the meal themselves
• spitting food out after chewing
• rigid food rituals (cutting into tiny pieces, moving food around plate,etc)
• complains of being fat
• skipping meals
• not wanting to eat in public
• obsession with calories
• constipation
• fatigue
• arthritis
  
• insomnia
• easily bruises
  
• dramatic weight loss/relatively short period of time
• food restriction/self-starvation
• malnutrition
• electrolyte imbalances
  
• muscle atrophy
• paralysis transient (or temporary)
• kidney disease/failure
• stroke

Bulimia

• secretive/excessive eating
• inappropriate methods of weight control
• repeated episodes of binging/purging
  
• self-induced vomiting
• diuretic abuse
  
• frequent dieting
  
• laxative abuse
  
• obsessive exercise
• obsession with weight
• guilt/shame after eating
• lack of control over eating
• hiding food
  
• eating to the point of discomfort
• rarely eats normal meals
• use of bathroom after meals
• eating unusual large amounts of food
• callouses or scars on knuckles/hands (sticking fingers down throat)
• frequent soar throat
  
• frequent weight fluctuation
• not underweight
• puffy cheeks (caused by vomiting)
• tooth decay/discolored teeth
• hair loss
  
• swelling of hands/feet
• tearing of esophagus
  
• broken blood vessels/eyes
• weakness
• dizziness
• arthritis
• osteoporosis
  
• osteopenia
  
• ruptured stomach
• acid reflux
• ulcers
• easily bruises
  
• loss of menstruation
• bloating
• abdominal pain
• low self-esteem/body image
• malnutrition
  
• electrolyte imbalances
• muscle atrophy
• paralysis transient (or temporary)
• kidney disease/failure
• stroke

Compulsive Overeating/Binge Eating Disorder

• eating uncontrollably
• eating large amounts of food (in short period of time)
• emotional eating
• eating rapidly
• eating when full
• feeling frenzied/out of control
• feeling guilt/shame after eating
• fear of not being able to control eating
• fear of not being able to stop eating once started
• fear of eating around others
• isolation
• social withdrawal
• weight gain/obesity
• weight fluctuations
• shortness of breath (even with light activity)
• low self-esteem
• low body image
• excessive sweating
• high blood pressure
• insomnia
• abdominal pain
• leg/joint pain
• mood swings
• depression
• fatigue
• chronic dieting
• secretive eating
• hiding food
• feeling food is your only friend
• malnutrition
• electrolyte imbalances
• kidney disease/failure
• stroke

For more information:

• Anorexia
• Bulimia
• Compulsive Overeating/Binge Eating Disorder
• Bulimarexia
• EDNOS
• Orthorexia
• Diabulimia
• Selective Eating Disorder

Find Help:
Resources

• Eating Disorder Help: Hotlines, Websites, Organizations
• Males with Eating Disorders: Information, Hotlines, Websites, Organizations
• Seeking Diagnosis

Do You Have An Eating Disorder?

• Self Assessment Tests

compiled from the following sites:
http://www.mayoclinic.com
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
http://www.something-fishy.org
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/mplusdictionary.html
http://www.medicinenet.com
http://helpguide.org
picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lchifi/ / CC BY 2.0

Guest Blogger Margarita Tartakovsky: Inspiring Words On Seeking ED Recovery

I am excited and delighted to introduce my first guest blogger, Margarita Tartakovsky of Weightless, a blog on PsychCentral.com, which focuses on body image, disordered eating, and eating disorders. From her Q&A interviews on through to her positive Body Image bolstering articles, her posts are informative, interesting, and very inspiring. If you haven't had the opportunity yet to visit there, I suggest you run on over and check it out. I promise you, you'll be glad that you did.

Inspiring Words on Seeking Eating Disorder Recovery

By: Margarita Tartakovsky MS

Seeking help when you’re struggling with an eating disorder might seem out of the question. Maybe you think no one can help. Maybe you see your disorder as a friend or your identity. But you are not your eating disorder. An eating disorder is a serious illness.

At Weightless, I regularly feature interviews with women who’ve recovered from eating disorders. One of the questions I ask is what motivated them to seek treatment. Today, I’d like to share with you a few of these answers.

If the idea of getting treatment for your eating disorder scares you or you’re afraid of taking the next step toward recovery, I hope the words below inspire you to talk to someone and find professional treatment. Even if you’ve already seen several therapists or been in treatment a few times, that doesn’t mean you can’t recover. Maybe your therapist didn’t specialize in eating disorders or maybe the two of you just didn’t click. None of these are reasons to give up. You may have to see several practitioners before finding the right one, but with some persistence, hard work and a desire to recover, you will find the right one. All you have to do is begin.

From Andrea Roe:

I wanted to get rid of my eating disorder and tried numerous times to recover by myself but it never worked. Even though I had read that recovery does exist, I didn’t really believe it was possible for me.

My turning point was when I met my husband. He believed in me no matter what. His love and support were what I needed to find the strength in me to reach out and do what it takes to beat this disorder. He was always there for me and never judged me. With his help and support, I felt for the first time that recovery was possible, even for me.

I could not have recovered without the help and support from others. I was close to giving up the fight many times, but my support team was there for me and believed in me, no matter what. And whenever I fell, they helped me get back up again to continue on with my recovery and healing journey. And they also celebrated my successes with me and reminded me of my successes when I was only concentrating on my failures and what was wrong with me. If it wasn’t for my support team, I would not be where I am today.

From Kate Le Page:

The first time I sought treatment I had been at school for several months with … [mono] … and had become so weak as a result that I was barely able to get out of bed. I was really frightened that my anorexia was making the virus harder to fight and decided to see my family doctor. Unfortunately, all he did was begin to weigh me every month and put me on various anti-depressants. This negative experience really put me off seeking further treatment.

By 1998, in my first year at university, my friends had begun to spot that something wasn’t right with my eating habits and they confronted me about it. My attendance was already beginning to suffer as I often felt so weak and exhausted that I would skip lectures. I had really gotten to a point where I knew the anorexia was preventing me from achieving my goal of getting a good degree.

From Kate Thieda:

A former teacher of mine who had been a mentor and second mother to me for over ten years confronted me during a visit to see her when I was twenty-eight. By this time, I had struggled with disordered eating for over eight years, and was virtually paralyzed when it came to making appropriate, healthy food choices. This was not the first time she had pushed me to reconsider my behavior, but I finally acknowledged that she was right and I needed help.

From Michelle Myers:

After a near-death experience (you can read my story on my blog here), I decided enough was enough. Though the thought of dying had intrigued me for a while, once I was almost there, I realized I desperately wanted to live – and REALLY live.

For the past four years of my life, I had merely existed. Avoiding food, pushing people away in my life, spending all of my time alone on the treadmill was no way to spend my time here on earth. I lost four years of my life, and my motivation to get better was my determination not to lose any more time.

Remember that while you didn’t choose to have any eating disorder, you can choose to get help and you can choose to fight. I hope you will.

Read why Margarita Tartakovsky blogs about these issues: Eating Disorders and Body Image Advocates & Why They Blog.

Seen Around The Web: What Other's Are Saying About Eating Disorders

The Voice of an Eating Disorder & 7 Ways to Shut It Up
By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

One of the toughest parts of recovery for many people is separating themselves from their eating disorder and, more specifically, hearing their own voice, not the mean, manipulative, vicious, callous voice of ED.

Andrea Roe talked about the ED voice in her Q&A last week. Andrea said:

One of the biggest aha moments during my recovery process was really getting and feeling that I was not my eating disorder. For the longest time, it actually felt like I was my eating disorder and my eating disorder was me. It felt like “it” was my identity. I didn’t know who I was without it. I had forgotten.

And whenever I heard the voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough, needed to lose weight, etc. … I’d ask myself if that was the “real me” that was talking, or if it was the eating disorder speaking to me. I had to learn to separate these two voices — mine and the eating disorder voice. And when it was the eating disorder talking, I had to learn to fight back, talk back and disobey its commands. I had to learn to take control back over my life — after all, it was MY life, not the eating disorder’s.

Trying to drown out the voice of ED also resonated with several readers.
Read The Voice of an Eating Disorder & 7 Ways to Shut It Up in full here.

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You Are Not Alone

Eating Disorder Awareness Week is coming to a close, and I've been trying to post related things all week (though I guess one could argue my whole blog is related). Today, I'd like to share with you a neat little site that was brought to my attention by a friend.

It's called You Are Not Alone and basically you can sign up to get a free support letter every month to give you encouragement on your path to recovery. It's sort of what I try to do here on my blog much more often than once a month, but this site is cool because it's an actual letter, sent to your email on a monthly basis. Every little bit of support helps, right?

Read You Are Not Alone in full here

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Body Image and Self-Esteem Links: National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Body Image and Self-Esteem Links:

Letters To My Body

The Body Image Project

We Bite Back's Post-Its Project

Body Image Tests

Self-Esteem Tests

Self Worth


Video:

Body Image and Self-Esteem


Organizations:

Children's Body Image Foundation

Reflections The Body Image Program

Body Image Health Org

The Now Foundation


Related Quotes:
Self-Love
Self-Worth
Believing In Yourself
Our Bodies

*If you know of any Body Image/Self-Esteem Organizations/Foundations, please let me know and I'll add them to the list.

Picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alosojos/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2010

Tomorrow starts National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. The theme this year is, "It's Time To Talk About It," so that's what we'll be doing here.

Among the things Weighing The Facts will be featuring this week are:

• Personal stories from readers
• Eating Disorders and Body Image Bloggers
• Links to resources for information, help, and recovery
• Recovery Quotes

There's still time if you'd like to share your story or poem here for National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

Eating Disorders: Seen Around The Web

Why It’s Time to Change Our Thinking About Weight: A Q&A with Linda Bacon

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Fat is vilified in our culture. That, unfortunately, is a fact. We think that weight loss will lead to many a splendid thing, including health and success. We think diet and lots of exercise will help us lose weight and maintain it. We’re always on the lookout for the next secret to weight loss, some pill, supplement, new workout craze, anything that’ll bring us closer to reaching our goal.

But there’s a reality that we rarely hear about that seems overshadowed by shows like The Biggest Loser, which illustrate big losses, and media attention, fear and unhelpful regulations about the obesity epidemic. Schools ban cupcakes while grocery stores reward thinner employees. Our assumption of larger bodies being unhealthy is deeply ingrained.

That’s why I’m so thrilled to present part one of my interview with Linda Bacon, Ph.D, author of Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight, a book that reveals the reality behind weight loss and dieting. Linda is a nutrition professor and researcher in the Biology Department at City College of San Francisco. She’s also part of a movement called Health At Every Size, which emphasizes health, not weight. It doesn’t demonize fat and it doesn’t encourage weight loss. Instead, it encourages honoring and listening to our bodies, moving our bodies and eating in a flexible way.

Below is part one of my eye-opening interview with Linda, where she presents solid research about the many, many weight-loss misconceptions that we accept every day as facts.

1. Q: Can you talk about some of the biggest misconceptions about weight loss and the so-called obesity epidemic?

Read Q &A in full here.

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Toxic Levels Of Self-Hate

Melissa Groman LCSW /Hope Forward

....There are, I think, a thousand possible causes of eating disorders. And there are a thousand cures. There is no one explanation, and no one path to recovery. We can rage at culture, analyze family dynamics, hang our hopes on genetic markers. Each story is uniquely crafted by biology, experience, environment and development. But this much I know to be true, each person that I have ever worked with who has an eating disorder suffers from toxic levels of self hate. Sometimes its obvious, and sometimes its swimming around like a shark just below the surface.

Read in full here.

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Question #16: Forbidden Foods & What It's Really About

Actively Arielle: A Voice With A Commitment

"In these years of anorexia, I've stopped eating a lot of different foods (most of them, except fruits, vegetables, yogurt and meat), and some of the foods I've stopped eating, they have become some kind of 'forbidden': I still can't eat some of them (such as pizza, ice-cream, hamburgers, wrustel, etc...), while I eat hardly some others... So, I wanted to ask you: have you lived something similar? If yes, have you solved the problem, or are there 'forbidden' food to you, right now? Moreover: how did you solve this problem? How can you resist to put out again some foods from your nutrition?" It may surprise you to know that I have no "forbidden" foods. I also have no "safe" foods. I eat everything, and I do mean everything. I'm not even a picky eater. There are a few foods I naturally dislike like creamed corn, french onion soup, and scallops, but I've disliked them since childhood. Other than those and a very few others, I eat anything and everything. When I was dealing with my anorexia...

Read in full here.

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What The Eating Disorder World Wants Mrs. Obama To Know

Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh /The Huffington Post

In the eating disorders world, putting any child on a diet is not only unacceptable but appalling.

In the eating disorders world, a father referring to his child as "chubby" and commenting on her eating habits is not only frowned upon it is reviled.

In the eating disorder world a mother who felt her children were "perfect" should not be corrected by a doctor who points to the children's weight as altering that.

In the eating disorders world it is well-known and embraced that healthy children rapidly gain weight as they approach puberty.

Read in full here.

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Dove and Diversity: Not Just For Women

Sharon Haywood

Ads for cars, beer, and action movies typically dominate the costly airtime during Super Bowl. But during The Big Game of 2006, it wasn’t another Bud Light commercial that captivated viewers. Instead, the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty reached an estimated 90.7 million football fans via a 45-second spot that promoted Dove’s Self-Esteem Fund. Dove's manufacturer, Unilever, created the hard-hitting video, True Colors, enlightening the audience—many of them parents—to the importance of fostering a positive body image in girls. And this year, they will do it again.

On Sunday, February 7^th Super Bowl XLIV airs another spot that celebrates body diversity. This time, men are the focus:

Read Dove and Diversity in full here.

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Body fat- it's not a bad thing

Carrie Arnold/ ED Bites

A new study confirms previous research that a higher percent body fat is associated with better outcomes for anorexia, and that lower body fat percentages are associated with relapse (Bodell and Mayer, 2010). The research isn't exactly groundbreaking, nor is the science--it's a pretty straightforward statistical analysis--but the results bear repeating. For most of my treatment, I've had clinicians low-ball my weight. They'd use some sort of plug-n-chug formula and tell me what I needed to weigh. Only twice was I asked what I weighed before the eating disorder during these "What should healthy Carrie weigh?" conversations. The second time, I lied because that is what people with eating disorders do when they are terrified of gaining weight and want to avoid it at all costs. Nothing egregiously inaccurate, but still.

Read in full here

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The Strength Is In The Foundation

Elisabeth from Letters To My Body.com

February 26th will mark my 4th year in recovery from my eating disorder. Four YEARS! Can you believe it?

In anticipation of this four year mark, I’ve been very thoughtful lately about my past, where I’ve been, how I arrived there, and how I have come to the place where I am now. And where is this ‘place’ that I’m talking about?

The place is happiness.

The place is peace.

It is a place filled with the knowledge that I don’t need to obsess about every morsel that passes my lips, and the confidence to know the difference between hunger and pain (or hurt or boredom or anxiety).

It is also a place where I trust in my own body to tell me what it needs, and have the ability to forgive myself in advance for any over-indulgences that may occur on occasion.

I no longer live in a state of instability and chaos (inevitably dictated by the number on the scale each morning). Oh, what a total relief THAT is!

Above all, I’m coming from a place of love, kindness, and compassion.

This place was not discovered easily. It took a lot of work, self-doubt and determination. In all truth, much of the time, I faked it till I made it. It’s still not easy at times, and I have my own personal struggles just as anyone with past (or present) disordered eating does. However, the bottom line is this…

Read Foundation in full here.

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Trimming The Budget-Not Just For The Arts & Music Anymore

Tracey Mere /The Givens That Are Our Graces

Albany's governor proposed budget eliminates funding for eating disorders in order to keep the focus on obesity and diseases related to obesity.
"In comparison to obesity and diabetes, eating disorders affect relatively few New Yorkers," said Claudia Hutton, spokeswoman for the state Department of Health.
The governor's budget will end the $1.7 million annual subsidies to the state's three eating disorder centers, including $500,000 to Albany Medical Center. The cut would eliminate Albany Med's entire budget and close the eating disorder program.
"It creates a huge void in the services we've been able to develop," said Dr. Sharon Alger-Mayer, medical director of the Northeast Comprehensive Care Center for Eating Disorders at Albany Med.
The program serves about 2,000 people through outpatient services and 50 people who need to be...

Read in full here.
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BEFORE SIZE ZERO: THE WAY WE WERE...

Medusa

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Unattainable Beauty: The Decades Most Egregious Retouching Scandals

Newsweek

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Girls' favorite cartoon characters get make-overs (not good ones)

feministing.com

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Mom Camps Out To Get Spot In Mental Ward For Son

Newsobserver.com

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picture source:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kurtxio/ / CC BY 2.0