Accepting and Loving Your Body

Bodies. They come in all shapes and sizes. They are unique. Each one an original creation. Bodies are a true example of diversity. They do so much for us every day, yet we judge them by their appearance instead of accepting them and loving them as they are. We compare our bodies to the bodies of others. We scrutinize them, pick them apart, and find fault. We wish we had thinner thighs, bigger breasts, or flatter tummies. We wish we were taller, shorter, or less wide. We feel ashamed, embarrassed, and cheated by what we see in the mirror. We may hide ourselves, deprive ourselves, or berate ourselves because we feel our bodies are not good enough. We allow our bodies to define us.

It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now…with its aches and its pleasures…is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.
Pema Chodron

Why? 

Opinions vary and overlap about the whys of body dissatisfaction. One being that we are bombarded, everyday, by images of women (and men) that have been professionally lit, creatively photographed, and photoshopped resulting in a visual misrepresentation of reality. Despite the diversity of bodies in every day life, the media has created a narrowly defined and unattainable image of beauty.

A cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience. 
Naomi Wolf 

Fortunately, these practices are no longer a carefully kept industry secret. Many have lifted the veil, exposed these methods, and informed the public. Search the internet and you'll find many examples of photoshopped fashion/beauty images that compare the true image to the final product. Actresses have come forward to speak out against their images being digitally manipulated. Some have bared their bodies as proof that what you see on a slickly designed magazine cover is not what you'd see in reality. There has also been a push to require photoshopped images to come with a warning/disclosure stating the image has been altered. 

We are raising a generation of children who see these images and believe them to be real. Children who are dieting in elementary school, or being diagnosed with an eating disorder at the age of 5. Grade school children who are focusing on their body's shortcomings and loving themselves less. 

So, what can we do about it?

We can stop buying into the hate. We can stop permitting an industry who relies on our dissatisfaction with ourselves (in order to make money) to dictate what beauty is. We can teach our children that what they see in the media has most likely been altered and is not a fair and true representation of the human body. We can lead by example by accepting ourselves and loving ourselves. We can start being grateful for all that our bodies do for us, and less concerned with how are bodies stack up against the hype. We can reteach ourselves to love our individuality. We can start by redefining beauty. We can begin by realizing that we are beautiful just as we are.

...say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks.

Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others. .

Oprah Winfrey

Commit to accepting your body. Commit to loving and appreciating your body right now, just as you are. Take a step forward in the direction of body acceptance/love, and another step, and another step... every day.

There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.

Steve Maraboli

How are others doing it?

For me, loving my body is something that is a long way in the distance. However, accepting my body how it is is something I've accomplished. Just getting to that point was a long journey. By accepting myself, I've gained confidence. By gaining confidence, I've been able to love little things about myself. I am a curvy girl, but ED does not discriminate. Some of the little things I love are my curves and the shape of my legs. Learning to love little things has given me the peace of mind I need to get down to a HEALTHY weight HEALTHY way. Regular exercise, but not too much and eating healthy things without bingeing and without restricting. My recovery is only beginning, but I can't wait to love myself completely, fully, and unconditionally!!

Jessica, 17 yrs

I suffered with an eating disorder for many years and I have found that one of the hardest parts of recovery is learning to accept/love your body. For me it is something I still have to work at daily. For me the process really started with accepting that what I was reaching for was really unrealistic and my therapist pointed out to me that unless I literally got bone removed I would never achieve my goal. So it started with that realization and then my dietician was able to prove to me that no matter what eating disorder “behaviors I used” I was not really getting where I wanted to be. SO…I eventually had to accept that my body may be a little smarter than me and know where it needs to be. Now, I am simply at a place where I may not really like my body and I still have a struggle accepting that this is what I will look like forever…but I can accept that in this moment this is where I am and so I can torture myself or accept it .  Some steps I have had to take in my recovery have been to distance myself from media image on the internet, magazines, etc. Also, I have had to continually have an internally dialogue disputing my negative body thoughts and have had to start speaking up against others body bashing. Overall, it is a daily process and simply taking one more leap of faith, and one more step forward but it is worth the journey. I no longer take 3 hours to get dressed in the morning and am able to go shopping with my friends again…Also, at my Masters graduation for the first time in a long time I was able to take a picture and not start crying after seeing it! IT was a great feeling.

Kelly, 27 yrs 

 I am still in the process of learning to accept my body; however, I can see how far I have come. Acceptance began when I was respected sexually. My boyfriend, now husband, did not pressure me to have sex when I didn't want to. That opened the door to me reclaiming ownership of my body. Once I saw it as mine, I began practicing appreciating what it did for me. I put it through hell! Yet my body is resilient and bounced back. Now I am starting to be open to the idea that other things beside my weight determine my worth. Accepting that I am worth more than that number is awful because then I see all the pain poured into hating something that was really okay. .. but more than that it is amazing because I can finally have moments in life where I am content. 
Courtney, 24 yrs 

Learning to love and accept my body has been the hardest part in my recovery, and even though I consider myself free from Ed, I still find myself having "bad body" days. Days where I feel "fat" and don't want to do anything. But I have learned how to push through these days by remembering that the feelings won't last forever. They are bound to disappear because feelings are not fact and they come and go continuously. Feeling "fat" or gross one day does not mean you are in fact "fat" or gross. I've learned that tomorrow I will probably wake up feeling amazing about myself so I hold on to that thought and keep going. Remember that you are beautiful no matter how you feel inside or what those Ed thoughts are telling you. Fight back. 
Tayla, 20 yrs

I fight my battle with words, positive words and daily gratitude, words that give me a why: why should I keep my scale beneath the sink? Why should I love the girl in the mirror? Why is there more to life than counting (weight, calories, seconds on the treadmill...)? My why is puppy dog kisses and long walks in the mountains. My why is laughing with my siblings, cultivating a fulfilling career, writing in coffee shops on the weekends. My why is dreaming of a better future--working toward a future--and knowing that any future I take part in requires more than skin and bones. I still do math--in my head, walking past the mirror or as I crack my eggs for breakfast or tie on my walking shoes. But the words--positive words and gratitude--fill my head and crowd out the numbers, and, for today, I have the peace that lets me work toward a recovered tomorrow. 
 Kaila, 26 yrs 

Start living life fully now, in your present body… 
Linda Bacon 


 If you would like to share your experience with learning to accept/love your body to be added to this post, please email me at mrsmenopausal@yahoo.com.



picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/aarika/5446195707/

Self-Worth: The Unconditional Love of Self

Often self-worth is confused with self-esteem. They are not the same. There are inherent differences. Self-esteem, good or bad, is learned. It is an outer expression. It is shaped by many things such as our experiences, our abilities (or lack there of), our upbringing, and so on. It often waxes and wanes depending on what we are dealing with at any given time. That's not to say that we can't learn to have a healthy, positive self-esteem if we currently do not. We can.

Self-worth, on the other hand, is an inner expression. It is self-love. It is something you enter this world already possessing. It is yours without question, an integral part of your being. It can be nurtured and appreciated, or ignored and forgotten. No matter how you choose to treat your self-worth it never fails to retain it's innate value because self worth has nothing to do with what type of car you drive, your occupation, how much you weigh, your age, your finances, how others view you, or even your opinion of it. That doesn't mean that how you view your self-worth isn't important and doesn't affect how you feel it's just that, do to it what you will, it is still what it is ... invaluable.

Let us pretend that self-worth is a tangible object. Hold it in your hand. Turn it over, and over, and study it. You will find that it's comprised of unconditional self-love, acceptance, and joy. You may see faded remnants of your past mistakes in there, or your own dysfunctional opinion of yourself but look closely and you will see they are embraced by understanding and the acceptance that life consists of making mistakes and the lessons learned from them. It's this acceptance of yourself, and your right to love yourself despite anything that happens, that makes self-worth so valuable.

Losing sight of one's own self-worth is more common than many may realize. When we do not take the time to acknowledge our worth, appreciate it, and nurture it, the result is often a loss of self-confidence, a lack of joy, and a host of other negative emotions. Recognizing your self worth is extremely important. When you do this you reap the benefits of self-acceptance, self-confidence, motivation, and happiness.

Though self-worth is a permanent part of your being, the condition it is in is entirely up to you. When you have sole control over something it is your responsibility for it's outcome and your sense of worth falls into this category. You get to decide how healthy it is, how well it is recognized and expressed. Nurturing the concept that you are worthy is empowering. Loving yourself is not selfish or narcissistic. Loving yourself enables you to love others more effectively.

Accepting that you are worthy leads to a more fulfilling and happy life. So...

*Love yourself.

*Accept yourself.

*Forgive yourself.

*Be kind to yourself.

*Believe in yourself.

*Take care of yourself.

*Accept that you will make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes. Accept that this is an inevitable part of this wonderful experience called life and has no bearing on your self-worth.

*Do not define your worth by your role in life (parent, child, mother, father, spouse), your career/job, or position. Self-worth has nothing to do with these roles.

*Realize that you are unique.

*Recognize and celebrate the many aspects of who you are.


"As long as we look outside of Self - with a capital S - to find out who we are, to define ourselves and give us self-worth, we are setting ourselves up to be victims."
Robert Burney


"Through self-doubt, we lose our sense of self-worth."
Unknown

"Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self-worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has."
Unknown

"If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will."
Sasha Azevedo

"A conviction of self-worth and passion for ideals fuse in a life attitude that is positive, free, noble and spiritually enhancing."
Bill Jay

"Our sense of self-worth is also key to being able to appreciate the other factors of fulfillment. Interestingly, feeling compassion for others is the most reliable way to increase our own self-worth."
Dalai Lama

see also:

• Self-worth Quotes
• Self-love Quotes
  

• Using Affirmations: Eating Disorder Recovery
• Body Image and Self-Esteem
• Building Self-Esteem
• Beauty: The Digitally Altered Ideal

quote sources:
http://en.thinkexist.com/reference/self_worth_quotes/
http://www.selfesteemawareness.com/self-esteem-self-worth-quotes.htm

Body Image And Self-Esteem

Body Image: is a term which may refer to our perceptions of our own physical appearance, or our internal sense of having a body which is constructed by the brain. Essentially a person's body image is how they perceive their exterior to look, and in many cases this can be dramatically different to how they actually appear to others. From the point of view of psychoanalysis, the French child psychoanalyst Francoise Dolto has developed a theory concerning the unconscious body image.[1] Negative feelings towards a person's body can in some cases lead to mental disorders such as depression or eating disorders, though there can be a variety of different reasons why these disorders can occur. Within the media industry there have recently been popular debates focusing on how Size Zero models can negatively influence young people into feeling insecure about their own body image. It has been suggested that size zero models be banned from cat walks.

Self-Esteem: reflects a person's overall self-appraisal of their own worth.

Self-esteem encompasses both beliefs (for example, "I am competent/incompetent) and emotions (for example: truimph/despair, pride/shame). Behavior may reflect self-esteem, in (for example: assertiveness/timorousness, confidence/caution).

Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic (trait self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations (state self-esteem) occur.

Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension (for example: "I believe I am a good writer, and feel proud of that in particular") or have global extent (for example: "I believe I am a good person, and feel proud of myself in general").

see also:
Body Image Tests
Self-Esteem Tests
Using Afirmations
Self-Worth: The Unconditional Love Of Self
*see sidebar for more Resources and Tools.

Sources: http://youtube.com/watch?v=gC9g-1MJdE4
Body image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_image
Self-Esteem: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem