Recovery Quote Of The Week: June 29th, 2010

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
Unknown


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Dearest Body; I Promise To Keep Mending The Damage I've Done.

Dearest Body,

O boy have we been through a lot;
That today you deserve to be put on the spot.
Like a machine you relentlessly work and you work,
That I owe you this Ode to My Body as a sense of artwork!
So here’s to the gift of my hard working body,
Without you I’d be plainly, literally, and completely a nobody!

Here’s to the gift of my long, strawberry blonde hair
People tell me they want it, that it’s beauty so rare!
I remember when I was little I would take every curl
I’d wrap them around my fingers and I’d twirl and I’d twirl.
Later I’d style you for dance and for cheer
But inside my self-confidence was so insincere.
I caused you to come out in bunches in my brush
The reality of losing you was a detrimental crush!
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my head and my neck
My feeding and eating habits made you completely a wreck.
You give me a place to hang my cross
It is my constant and without it I’d be at a loss!
Inside is my brain with thoughts so, so clear
I could solve any problem without uncertainty and fear,
But I starved you of the nutrients and vitamins you desperately need
I could not even think, I must concede.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my big, bright blue eyes
People always said you had it in you to mesmerize.
You introduced me to Harry Potter, Disney, and Twilight,
You would see something and my imagination would ignite.
Starving myself caused clear vision to severely decline,
You lost your sparkle and twinkle and ability to shine.
But I’ll care for you now, I need you for life
So I can look into my husband’s eyes the day I become his wife.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my little button nose
From my mom’s scent, to the smell of sunscreen, Hawaii, and Disneyland I propose
You allow me to enjoy all the different, unique smells
They are varied and wonderful and I’m easily compelled
To thank the Lord I’ve chosen to live
And I hope that you’ll find a way to forgive
All the mistakes I foolishly made
Trying to be a part of a fake, false masquerade.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my wiggly, little ears
You help me to hear so very loud and clear.
You let me hear the sweet sound of my mom’s embracing voice,
And the heavenly songs in my church to rejoice.
You capture the powerful sounds of Phantom, Wicked, and more,
You let me hear the cries, cheers, raindrops, ocean, and all sounds galore,
And when I found I needed a new way to cope
You help me to listen to my counselors who gave me new hope.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my mouth and my tongue
You have both taken care of me since I was very young.
As a child I simply saw food, and naturally ate,
Food caused me no fear, it was not something to hate.
You allow me to smile, laugh, and kiss,
But limiting food intake caused the joy to be missed.
So now I’m determined to savor and to eat
All the foods that you love from spaghetti to even a treat.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my very straight teeth,
And the gums that are found right there underneath.
I made you crooked when I sucked both my thumbs,
But we got through years of surgeries and braces, we both thought we’d never overcome.
People always tell me they like my sweet smile
Like it’s a part of my very own special style.
Yet I caused you to whither till you bled and felt pain,
Malnutrition was the cause which I could not contain.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my strong, dancer’s arms,
When dancing they made my movements full of charm.
You allow me to cheer and take in a warm hug,
Family and friends made me feel nice and strong.
But lack of nutrition caused you to become weak,
And my hopes for happiness became extremely bleak.
You need energy to dance, swim, and shop
To keep my strong hugs coming and to never, ever stop.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two, pretty hands
You allow me to stick to all of my plans,
To stay very safe when crossing the street,
When shopping with mom or to go trick-or-treat.
My mom and dad would tightly hold on and protect me from harm,
Hand-in-hand, there was never any need for alarm.
I thank you for holding on in dance, church, and on rides at Disneyland;
I always knew safety would be close at hand.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my long, lady fingers
You allow me to text and answer my phone’s funny ringer.
You help me to drive and tie my shoes,
And to help on vacations while my dad barbeques.
But by restricting my food I made you cramp and shake,
My knuckles would throb, tingle, and ache.
But that’s all different now, I have something to declare,
I promise to take care of you, on that I pinky swear.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my twenty strong nails,
You make me feel pretty like a young female.
You’ve been pink, you’ve been blue, and occasionally even black,
Glitter and designs are what I see when I often flashback.
But lack of calories made you brittle and dry,
You’d crack and you’d bleed and I’d cry and I’d cry.
Feeding you now has helped me to fix
All the problems you had, I know I must not restrict.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my constant beating heart,
Without you healthy my whole life would completely fall apart.
You keep my blood moving, you help me to breathe air,
If you don’t have health, I don’t even have a prayer.
By limiting my food, you worked harder than you should
It finally took passing out till I really understood.
But I realize now and promise to care
For with the health of my heart, my love I can easily share.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my life-giving blood,
You help me each day as you constantly flood
My body with oxygen and nutrients and more
That kept me healthy and helped me soar,
But I weakened my body and made your job hard
That even my liver became fatally scarred.
In the hospital they took you by gallons it seemed
Until the tests came out better and made home not such a dream.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my stomach so tough,
You’d talk and you’d talk when I didn’t eat enough.
I tried not to listen, and push you out of my head,
And allow the negative thoughts quickly to spread.
Now you have shrunk, and it’s harder to eat,
but I’m committed to prove this disorder I can beat.
I’m realizing now, I can eat without fear,
And not worry that people will see you and wrongly jeer.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my ever-repairing liver,
The damage I did to you makes me quiver and shiver.
You balance my body and filter my blood,
When I think of how I hurt you my tears begin to flood
By starving myself, my body consumed you,
Saving my life meant taking a complete new avenue.
By refeeding right now, my enzyme count quickly drops,
Saving you saves my life, and I know this wont stop.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two tiny kidneys,
You filter my blood so I’m not ill at ease.
Keeping you healthy keeps me in the game,
But the way I did treat you fills me with shame.
Without the correct calories you worked overtime;
Recovery was a mountain I knew I’d must climb,
But I’m committed to eat well and do what I must,
I need you to know, in me you can trust.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of two strong, dancer’s legs and feet,
You made it possible to dance to every beat.
You walked me to school day in and day out,
Tired and sore while my muscles would shout.
You help me to get back on the grand stage for each dance,
For each graceful pliae and every awe inspiring stance.
Until my lack of food caused you to collapse,
I knew it was time to do much more than just pray, perhaps.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my numerous muscles and joints,
I’d like to get quickly right to the point.
You help me to move and get me to where I need to go;
You help me to travel to and fro.
I did not feed you with all that you need;
You lost out on all complete accuracy and speed.
But I promise to stick to the food plan I’ve made;
I know you are strong, and I’ll get repaid.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my two hundred, six bones,
You have helped me to stand tall as I have grown;
You give me my posture and define my shape;
You allow my clothes to properly drape.
I foolishly deprived you of the calcium you need,
I sure did put my life in danger, this is surely indeed.
I’m feeding you now, I’m well on my way,
Osteoporosis will never be a part of my day.­
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

Here’s to the gift of my strong, resilient skin,
You hold extreme softness and toughness within.
You’re the home to every blessed angel kiss,
And the keeper of my tattoo that brings me extreme bliss.
In the hospital you got poked hour by hour,
And held the painful I.V. that made me cower.
The goosebumps that came on a body like mine,
Should have been seen as a warning sign.
I promise to keep mending the damage I’ve done!

So thank you again for never giving up
For working so hard, performing and never about to ever erupt.
You have stayed with me no matter my thoughtlessness to you
You have continued to function as I daily get a clue.
I love you, I’ll care for you, I’ll continue refeeding;
With every success we will make, we are one step closer to defeating
this deadly disorder and sick way of mind,
one day, I know it’s close, we will definitely put behind!

Love,
Me

Written by: Emily Woodhouse

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Be Featured on Weighing The Facts: Share Your ED and Body Image Poetry, Writings, and Stories.

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Recovery Quote Of The Week: June 22, 2010

Life: it is about the gift, not the package it comes in.
Dennis P. Costea Jr.



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Happy Father's Day: What Fathers Should Know About Eating Disorders

*A big Thank You to the Dads who make a positive difference in body image, self-esteem, and eating disorders in the lives of those they love, and women in general.

What Fathers and Daughters Need To Know About Eating Disorders

1) Listen to girls. Focus on what is really important--what my daughter thinks, believes, feels, dreams and does--rather than how she looks. I have a profound influence on how my daughter views herself. When I value my daughter for her true self, I give her confidence to use her talents in the world.
2) Encourage her strength and celebrate her savvy. Help my daughter learn to recognize, resist and overcome barriers. Help her develop her strengths to achieve her goals. Help her be what Girls Incorporated calls Strong, Smart and Bold!
3) Urge her to love her body & discourage dieting. Growing girls need to eat often and healthy. Dieting increases the risk of eating disorders. Advertisers spend billions to convince my daughter she doesn’t look "right." I won’t buy into it. I’ll tell my daughter that I love her for who she is, not for how she looks.
4) Respect her uniqueness. See my daughter as a whole person, capable of anything—and make sure she knows that’s how I see her. My daughter is likely to choose a life partner who acts like me and has my values. So, treat her and those she loves with respect. That will help my daughter choose someone who respects and nourishes her long after she’s left my home.

Read in full: Father's and Daughters and Eating Disorders
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10 Things Every Father Should Know

1. Our body size is a given, like our height or hair color. Yet, by middle school, 30-50 percent of American girls say they feel too fat and 20-40 percent are dieting; many beginning before age 10. By high school, 40-60 percent of girls feel overweight and try to lose weight.
2. Young girls say that they are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of cancer, nuclear war, or losing their parents.
3. Today, the average fashion model weighs 23 percent less than the average woman.
4. The average age for onset of eating disorders is during adolescence. While self-esteem for both girls and boys is strong as children and drops for both in adolescence, the drop is much steeper for girls, beginning at around age of 12.
5. In a survey of working-class 5th to 12th grade suburban girls, 69 percent reported that magazine pictures influence their idea of the perfect body shape; 47 percent reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures.
6. Before puberty there is no difference in depression rates between boys and girls. By age 15, girls are twice as likely to be depressed and 10 times as likely to develop an eating disorder than their male peers. Girls are more likely to attempt suicide than boys are, but boys are more likely to succeed.
7. Clinique Laboratories, Inc. surveyed 500 moms of teen daughters and found their number one New Year’s Resolutions was "lose weight/eat less". Yet 22% of these same mothers list the fear of their daughter developing an eating disorder among their top concerns. Only 16 percent of the 500 teens in the same survey worried about developing an eating disorder.

Read in full: 10 Things
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Perfectionist Fathers Can Reinforce Tendencies Towards Anorexia, Bulimia, And Other Clinical Illnesses

Perfectionist fathers can reinforce disordered eating among college-age young people already preoccupied over their physical looks and subject to the demanding expectations of peers and media, according to a Penn State study.

A survey of 424 college students revealed that, with sons and daughters alike, the father, not the mother, is more likely to create pressures leading college-age children to indulge in erratic eating habits that in turn can lead to anorexia, bulimia and other clinical illnesses, says Dr. Michelle Miller-Day, associate professor of communication arts and sciences.

"Another finding was that food itself was not the issue with students who reported disordered eating behaviors," Miller-Day notes. "Personal perfectionism, reinforced by peer and parental expectations of perfection in combination with the allure of advertising, may cause many young people to feel that they are not in control of their own lives and bodies. Eating then becomes an area in which they DO have a sense of personal control."

Read in full: Perfectionistic Fathers
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Dads, Too, Can Increase Daughters’ Risk for Eating Disorders
by Christina Elston

If you’re a dad on a diet, don’t flaunt that fact in front of your daughter. Your attitude about your weight – and hers – affects how your daughter views her body, and could even put her at risk of developing an eating disorder, according to new research.

In one of the first studies to examine the impact of fathers on whether girls develop eating disorders, Stanford University researchers found that dads who are dissatisfied with their own bodies, have a high drive for thinness and restrict their own food intake are more likely to have daughters who develop eating disorders in adolescence. Lead researcher W. Steward Agras, M.D., points out that either parent – mom or dad – who expresses concern or criticism about a daughter’s weight and shape or who pushes the daughter to diet can increase the girl’s risk of developing bulimia.

Read in full: Dads Too
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Parent's Roles in Development of Eating Disorders: How Important is the Father?
By Becky Honeyman

Much of the literature that focuses on the parents' role in the development of eating disorders is focused on the mother and the mother-daughter relationship. Studies have shown conclusively that a mother's body image and eating habits are, mirrored in her daughter, and that if she is obsessed wilt her own body image, it stands likely that her daughter will be the same way both growing up and in her adult life. The father, though, is often left out of the research except for in the basic family profile. Here, we will examine the active role that the father plays in the development of eating disorders in their daughters. First, we will explore why the father's ideas and how they are expressed can lead to an eating disorder. Next, we will discuss how a daughter's feelings are transformed into symptoms of eating disorders, and finally, we will conclude with how the relationship needs to change to help daughters recover from the vice of an eating disorder.

The Ideas of the Father

Since men in our society are "encouraged to achieve but not to feel" (Maine), fathering is often a difficult task for men, especially with their daughters because the relationship requires "more intimacy then most men can handle" (Maine). Men try to bond with their daughters oftentimes with gifts or compliments, but not with interaction into their lives. Daughters look up to their fathers and want to please them, so they look around to see what makes their fathers happy and try to emulate whatever it is.

Read in full: Parent's Role: How Important Is the Father?



Eating Disorder Help/ Resources
Fathers and Daughters Org (The Dad Man)
Eating Disorders: Dictionary For Dads


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Razor Dance: A Young Woman's Poem About Self-Injury and Where She Is Now In Her Recovery

*Warning: This poem may be triggering

Razor Dance

Blood churns
interweaving like an intricate
crimson
bracelet encircled tightly
'round my wrist.
Sliver of raw flesh
part through my nakedness
Dancing alongside my veins
Leading me into a dance
I wanted all along.
My physical body
falls into a deep slumber
My mind slowly slums into hell
I hear drums beating
Louder, faster, lover
A suicidal dance
You caused this premature death
that you promised me
all this time-
That I thought I wanted all along.
Blood leaks
through every crevice
of my body
You slaughtered my innocence
and now I want it back.

by: Ashley

I am 18 years old and am working towards recovery. Truthfully, at this moment I do not consider myself 100% completely recovered- but I am so proud of myself at the amount of progress that I have made! What helped me with my recovery process in struggling with self-injury and an eating disorder is to ACCEPT the pain that I have to deal with instead of using those harmful behaviors to deal. I have the hardest time accepting others' judgments of me- people's words have made me feel FAT, not good enough, a waste, a disgusting person, not pretty enough, UGLY, not smart enough and WORTHLESS. Instead of hurting myself, I do things that make me feel SPECIAL about myself such as swimming, teaching and working with children, writing, running, laughing, smiling and talking it out with people I trust. Recovery is SOOOO worth it!!! Although I have developed a special, understanding place for the girl who I once was, a girl who felt so ugly and alone in this world that she tried to kill herself on her 18th birthday- I could never go back to that girl who I once was. I have developed the STRENGTH to accept others' judgments of me, and know that I am not FAT, UGLY or WORTHLESS, despite what you may say or think- inside, I know that I am BEAUTIFUL.

• Self-Harm Resources
• Suicide Prevention Resources
• Sexual Abuse Resources

Share Your Poetry and Writings on Weighing The Facts
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Recovery Quote Of The Week: June 15, 2010

It's not where you're from; it's where you're going. It's not what you drive; it's what's driving you. It's not what's on you; it's what's in you. It's not what you think; it's what you know.
Gatorade commercial

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Eating Disorder Recovery: Is It Worth It?

Eating Disorder Recovery: Is It Worth It?

I was unable to get the video to fit on the page so please use the link. Enjoy!

Video by: WeRFreEDomFighters

*See sidebar menu for more ED and Body Image Videos.

Recovery: Our Common Threads

We are unique. Each of us possesses a story, a history, a struggle, and/or triumph that will never be the same for any other person, anywhere. Our stories are personal ones. Not in the sense that they are private, without witness... but that they are simply ours, and only ours.

If you were to take two people and place them in identical circumstances you would, on some level, still get two different results because we take to each event, to each trial or celebration, to each moment in our lives... our uniqueness.

Though we are all different there is a common thread that links us together. Somewhere, in the fabric of one person's story, is a stitch or two that will resonate within us. A stitch or two that will feel familiar, connect us, inspire us.

I have never had a problem with alcohol but I can listen to a recovering alcoholic tell his/her story and I can relate. I may not ever fully understand what they are dealing with but that part that sought me out and connected with me will touch my life and change me. The underlying emotions can be so surprisingly similar.

Recovery is like that. Recovery is full of common threads. And common threads can change the fabric of our being. It is in the sharing of your own experience that can touch and inspire another who is facing their own personal struggle, or enlighten someone who is desperate to understand and help.

This is why I feature submissions by readers on Weighing The Facts and think they are so important. Because some aspect of your story will most likely reach out to another. The person who felt different and alone, finds they aren't so different. Nor are they so alone.


*see sidebar for previous submissions of writings and poetry.

If you're interested in sharing you experience on Weighing The Facts you can email me at mrsmenopausal@yahoo.com

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Eating Disorders: A Taste of What Other ED Bloggers Are Talking About

Simeon's Protocol and The Dangerous HCG Diet
Medusa

Read about Simeons/HCG
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Actively Arielle: A Voice With a Commitment
Arielle

This week's topic is about what is learned in recovery.

Specifically, I

1) share the 3 most important things I have learned in recovery
2) talk about the hardest thing I had to overcome
3) and tell the viewers one message I'd like to tell them about recovery and why it's worth it!

Read more of What is learned in recovery
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Are You Eating With Your Anorexic?
Laura Collins

The Surface

I am so tired of hearing "at a better weight" "no longer skeletal" "maintaining a low but acceptable weight" and this sort of thing.

To me this is like swimming. You are either above the water line or not. It isn't a matter of how close you are to the surface it is about whether you get out enough to breathe.

Read more of The Surface
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Weightless
Margarita Tartakovsky

"Telling ED No!": Interview With Author Cheryl Kerrigan

Cheryl began struggling with eating disorder symptoms at five years old, and, for about 20 years, viewed ED as her world. Her story is another inspiring one that shows that it doesn’t matter how long you’ve struggled, you can recover. No matter how strong it seems ED is, you are stronger.

Read more of Telling ED No!
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Eating Disorders Coalition News and Information

Pediatricians To Screen For Mental Health Issues!
Shirley S. Wang

Pediatricians should screen children for possible mental health issues at every doctor visit, according to new, extensive recommendations a national pediatrician group issued Tuesday.

These doctors also should develop a network of mental-health professionals in the community to whom they can send patients if they suspect a child needs further evaluation, according to the task force on mental health convened by the American Academy of Pediatrics. The recommendations were made in a series of reports published in a supplement to the journal Pediatrics.

Read more of Pediatricians To Screen For Mental Health Issues
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Mamavision
Heather Blessington

Urban Outfitters T-Shirt Promotes Pro-Ana Movement

It seems “eating less” is cool these days according to Urban Outfitters. I guess it’s their hip and trendy response to the whole “obesity crisis” but perhaps they should ponder the repercussions of placing this shirt in their stores modeled by a pale skinny chick (that kind of looks stoned).

Irresponsible as hell.

Read more of Urban Outfitters T-Shirt

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Voice In Recovery
Kendra Sebieius


Letter To Urban Outfitters Re Eat Less T-Shirt

To Whom It May Concern,

I am saddened and angered by Urban Outfitter’s carrying a T-shirt that says “Eat Less” depicted on a young woman. I honestly cannot understand WHO manufactured such a message and WHO would approve this at UO to be sold to a national audience of young women.

I am sure you have received plenty of emails from people stating that anorexia nervosa and eating disorders are no joke, and are deadly. In the United States, as many as 10 million females and 1 million males are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia.

Read more Letter To Urban Outfitters
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Eating Disorder Story: Anything Is Better Than The Existence You Are Living Now

You sit on the hard orange chairs, the cold plastic rubbing painfully against the bones that protrude from the base of your spine. Normal people don’t have those bones sticking out, but you, the college freshman home for the summer, do have those two little knobs poking out at obtuse angles from your back. You look down at your thin tan legs, and see the creases your thighs and calves make when you sit criss cross, one boney limb draped over the other.

fat fat fat fat fat fat

You think you need to get rid of that fat, have clean lines, no folds or dimply cellulite lining your legs.

You’re only 19 years old, 19 year old women shouldn’t have fat on their bodies. They are long and lean with an effervescent beauty that screams

LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME

The nurse calls your name, and you quickly glance up to her troubled eyes. As you stand she quickly looks you up and down, averting her gaze to your veined arms and hollowed cheekbones. You follow her down the sterile white hallway to a small examination room where she asks you to remove your clothes and put on a creased paper gown.

You were told by your pediatrician—yes, even at the age of 19 you still see a pediatrician—to immediately go to the hospital after he saw you two days ago for a checkup. With a frightened look, he explained that you might collapse at any moment, that the months of running and weight lifting and bicycling and swimming on 200 calories a day has weakened your heart so much that you could go into cardiac arrest at any moment, that people have just fainted and died

the words swam around in your head swam around in your head

a whirl of threats and fear tide pooled in your mind

You don’t really know if you believe that you could have a heart attack—you just completed your first year of college, and no one this young has heart attacks—but you do know that you are tired. Your eyes are tired from studying late at night, your legs are heavy pieces of lead from the miles you ran around the school campus, your arms are too weak to open doors to the music classrooms. Your head hurts and even though it’s only 10 in the morning, you want to lie down in bed and sleep until the next day.

Your mother cried that summer afternoon you returned home from college. You knew you had lost some weight, but didn’t think it was too much—yes, you had to roll the waistband of your shorts one, two, three folds, otherwise they would fall around your ankles—but you could still pinch some skin around your stomach, and you still had the fat creases around your knees when you sat. At first you thought your mother cried because she was so happy to see you, the magnificent musician, intelligent hardworking student returning home from her first year at a renowned music college. Then she told you that when you walked out from the gateway, she didn’t even recognize the 78 pound girl wearing fleece in the middle of May. She didn’t know that that girl was supposed to be her daughter. You remember her tight grip of her hug as she finally realized it was you

Mom, it’s me, I’m right here, you cried

and then the look of shock and fear in her eyes as she pulled away from you. Your heart ached at that look.

A knock on the examination room jars your thoughts and a kindly middle aged man in a starched white coat enters the room. He explains in a calm, monotone voice the battery of tests that will be run on you

blood tests

an EKG

electrolyte checks

potassium level assessments

you don’t know what they all mean, but you nod your head in agreement as he goes over the list. The doctor then makes you do simple acts, stand on one leg, he says, close your eyes and touch your nose, walk in a straight line with your feet touching heel to toe heel to toe. You don’t understand why you have to perform such trivial and elementary tasks, but you do it, and as you do he jots notes down on his paper pad.

You sit back down on the examination bed, and watch with an intensely growing fear of dread as the doctor slowly shakes his head at his notes. He looks up at you with the same shock and fear your mother’s eyes held that day you stepped off the plane, and slowly explains that he will have to consult with the head administrator, but you may have to be admitted to the hospital

RIGHT AWAY. NOW. AT THIS MOMENT.

At the sound of the work “hospital”, your heart drops into your stomach like how it does on your favorite roller coaster rides, and you picture yourself

with needles sticking out of your right forearm, saline solution pumping through your dehydrated veins

your tiny body tucked under rough white sheets

your mother sitting on the straight backed hospital chair, tears slowly dripping down her cheeks

your father with downcast eyes, folding his fingers, intertwining them into a white knuckled grip

The doctor leaves the brightly lit examination room to walk down the corridor to the administration office, and as his footsteps grow fainter and fainter you feel a welling of strength burning inside of you, building up from the bottoms of your feet, pulsating to your chest and heart, radiating up to your mind your thoughts.

You avert your gaze down to your legs and for the first time notice how your knobby knees form round bumps and are surprised that you can actually see the individual muscle fibers in your calf. You look back up to the white walls around you and know

Even if you are admitted to the hospital

Even if you are fed three meals and three snacks a day

Even if your legs are dimpled with cellulite

ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING

Is better than the existence you are living in now.

by: Lauren Takao



* Share Your Eating Disorder/Body Image Poetry and Writings on Weighing The Facts.

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Recovery Quote Of The Week: June 4, 2010

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so we see ourselves as we really are.
Arthur Golden


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