Eating Disorders News and Views: November 15, 2011
Warning: Some articles may be triggering
Anorexia and Cheerleading: A Dangerous Combination
By Samantha Van Vleet
Anorexia, a very serious and life-threatening eating disorder, appears to occur more commonly among the aesthetic sports, such as figure skating, gymnastics and cheerleading.
A growing concern regarding anorexia has become evident in the cheerleading realm. In fact, Gymnastics Australia has banned cheerleaders from wearing uniforms that expose their stomach. This decision may have been led to by research conducted that suggested cheerleaders who bared their stomachs in uniform were at a greater risk for developing eating disorders.
What is anorexia?
Anorexia is commonly used to describe the eating disorder anorexia nervosa, characterized by excessive dieting and calorie restriction to the point of emaciation. Anorexia, although it prevents physical symptoms, is thought of as a psychological disorder as the underlying cause is usually emotional.
What are the symptoms of anorexia?
Cheerleaders suffering from anorexia are likely to exhibit incredibly odd eating habits and behaviors. A cheerleader may have lost substantial amounts of weight in a relatively short period of time and may over-exercise. Cheerleaders suffering from anorexia are also likely to suffer from hair, skin and nail issues, such as dry, flaky skin, discolored skin, hair loss and brittle purple fingernail beds. Additionally, a cheerleader may exhibit the signs and symptoms of depression and may seem preoccupied with her weight and size.
Read Cheerleading ED in full here.
Images of airbrushed fashion models should come with 'cigarette-packet' warning, says Norwegian minister
By Ian Sparks
Mail Online
Images of airbrushed fashion models should come with a ‘cigarette-packet’ style health warning in a bid to tackle eating disorders in teenage girls, a government minister in Norway has declared.
Advertisements of super-skinny models are causing young women to starve themselves to obtain ‘unobtainable ideal bodies’, equalities minister Audun Lysbakken said.
He has called for stark warnings on all posters and press adverts when a photo has been digitally altered.
One suggested text for the warning reads: 'This advertisement has been altered and presents an inaccurate image of how this model really looks.'
We have to reduce the pressure the beauty ideal generates.' The call comes after countries including Spain, Italy and Brazil have all clamped down on skinny models at catwalk shows.
Read Warning Label in full here.
My five-year bulimia nightmare, by Diane Keaton
Mail Online
Diane Keaton has spoken for the first time about her 'awful' five-year battle with bulimia.
The actress revealed that she used to gorge herself on huge tubs of ice cream before making herself sick.
She said she was a struggling actress when she was ordered to lose 10lb for a part in the original Broadway production of Hair in 1968. It was the beginning of her bulimia nightmare.
Miss Keaton, now 65, said that she did not think her condition was called bulimia at the time, but it was real for her. 'It was just this trick you could do,' she added. 'It's a horrible problem. Ugly and awful.'
After undergoing psychotherapy – what she called the 'talking cure' – she one day realized that she did not want to binge any more.
Miss Keaton – who dated a string of Hollywood stars including Woody Allen, Warren Beatty and Al Pacino but never married – claimed that she was not beautiful, even when she was younger.
'I was friendly looking, no Candy Bergen,' she said. 'The smile, maybe, was all I had.'
Her disclosures may surprise many as she is known for shunning the spotlight – Vanity Fair magazine once described her as 'the most reclusive star since Garbo'. But now she has written a memoir, Then Again, due out next week.
Read Keaton in full here.
Vail health: Bulimia and the brain
Adolescent anorexia stems from both nurture and nature
Randy Wyrick
VAIL — Don't put your kid on a diet, because diets don't work, says Dr. Kenneth Weiner, an expert in eating disorders and brain development.
Within three years, 90 percent of people weigh more than they did before the diet. The other 10 percent have built lifestyle changes into their lives, Weiner said.
Weiner is co-founder, CEO and chief medical officer of the Eating Recovery Center in Denver and has been treating eating disorders for more than 25 years. He talked to Colorado School Counselors Association's annual conference at the Vail Cascade Resort & Spa on Friday.
To help adolescents avoid eating disorders, concentrate on who they are and not what they are, what's on the inside rather than what's on the outside, he said.
“We live in an obese society and childhood obesity is going to break the healthcare bank. My patients are the collateral damage,” Weiner said.
Nurture vs. nature
Eating disorders stem from nurture more than nature, he said, and so many things can feed that beast: Trauma, certain interests and hobbies, modeling, dancing, swimming, violence, culture, media.
“For many people with an eating disorder, it's preceded by some sort of trauma,” Weiner said.
Still, genetics play a role.
Between 40 to 50 percent of the risk is genetic. Fifty to 60 percent is psychosocial. If her mother has it, a girl is 12 times more likely.
It's as inheritable as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, Weiner said, and it's treatable.
Read Vail in full here.
10% OF GIRLS ARE FANS OF PRO-ANOREXIA WEBSITES
By Lucy Johnston and Chloe Randall
Express UK
ALARMING numbers of teenagers are using a network of underground “pro-anorexia” websites that glamorise and promote the life-threatening eating disorder.
New research reveals that more than 10 per cent of schoolgirls aged 13 to 17 have used a pro-anorexia site, and almost six per cent of boys, despite high-profile search engines blocking them after media outrage.
A Sunday Express investigation has discovered that many sites have gone underground, allowing access only to those who know a password.
Tips and tricks to reach a “goal weight” include eating cotton wool, inflicting pain to inhibit cravings and viewing pictures of skinny models, celebrities and other site users to boost motivation.
There are also suggestions on how to dupe family and friends that a meal has been eaten.
Websites may have trademark emblems with which followers demonstrate their dedication to an anorexic lifestyle, such as a red bracelet, worn by celebrity Nicole Richie and actress Lindsay Lohan in the past. Mary George, of eating disorder charity Beat, said: “These sites should act responsibly. Anorexia and bulimia are dangerous activities and people can be encouraged to copy them.”
Read 10% in full here.
Former child star to host eating disorders TV series
Former child star Tracey Gold is to share her experiences with anorexia as the host of a new U.S. reality show about eating disorders.
The actress, who battled the illness while starring in hit sitcom Growing Pains, will be seen working with patients undergoing intensive treatment for anorexia or bulimia as part of U.S. series Starving Secrets.
Gold admits shooting the show was an emotional rollercoaster, but she hopes it will give audiences an insight into the participants’ fear of gaining weight.
She tells The Daily Beast, “It’s not an easy show to watch, but it’s riveting and it really lets you know what it’s like. When we first started, every story tore me apart. I had such a close relationship to the subjects. As we got further along, I was able to get some distance.”
Read ED TV series in full here.
Anorexic Mum Fits into Seven-year-old Daughter’s Clothes
by Savitha.C.Muppala
A 26-year-old mum and her seven year old daughter look pretty much the same as the mother can easily fit into the daughter’s clothes.
Rebecca is extremely proud of the fact that she weighs just five stone and easily fits into the clothes meant for seven or eight year olds.
Rebecca has been a victim of anorexia for most part of her life. She recalls that it all began after she started putting on weight at the age of 13 following her parents’ divorce.
Read Anorexic Mum in full here.
How do lesbians' and gay women experience anorexia and bulimia?
Health Canal
A psychology PhD student at UWE Bristol (University of the West of England) is researching lesbians' experiences of anorexia and bulimia and how these experiences may be similar to and different from those of heterosexual women.
The research involves in-depth interviews with self-identified lesbian women who are experiencing anorexia and/or bulimia.
Researcher Rebecca Jones said, “This new research will build on the pilot study I did at UWE Bristol as an undergraduate, which has just been published by the online journal Psychology and Sexuality.
“My motivations stem from having past experience of an eating disorder and self-identifying as a lesbian. When I started University I became interested in lesbians' eating disordered experiences from a research perspective which prompted me to explore the literature further in my undergraduate research project.”
According to Rebecca, there is now a considerable body of research exploring how our culture's norms and ideas about gender impact upon girls' and women's experiences of anorexia and bulimia and heterosexual girls' and women's experiences of anorexia and bulimia.
“However,” she says, “much less is known about lesbian experiences of anorexia and bulimia. The article I have just published explores some of the similarities and differences between lesbian and heterosexual women's experiences of anorexia and/or bulimia. Analysing interviews with a small number of self-identified lesbian women with a history of anorexia and/or bulimia indicates that many of the ways in which these women described their eating disorders were similar to those identified in research with girls and women assumed to be heterosexual – such as a search for identity, an exertion of self-control, and a pursuit of feminine beauty.
Read Experience Anorexia and Bulimia in full here.
Teens who eat with parents less likely to be depressed
By Simon Collins
Kiwi teenagers who eat meals with Mum and Dad are less likely to be depressed and much less likely to be suicidal, a new study has found.
Teenagers who eat with their families frequently are also less likely to binge drink, smoke cigarettes or cannabis or use inconsistent contraception.
They are more likely to eat fruit and vegetables and less likely to eat fast food. But, apparently because of other lifestyle factors, they are just as likely to be overweight.
The study, published today by the Families Commission, is based on Auckland University's Youth 2007 survey of 9100 New Zealand high school students. Previous reports have shown that the teens were happier, less likely to be depressed, had better nutrition and were more physically active than in a similar survey in 2001.
The first survey did not ask about family meals, but the latest one found that 24 per cent of teens ate meals with all or most of their family less than three times in the previous week.
The other three-quarters ate meals with the family three to six times a week (41 per cent) or at least seven times a week (35 per cent).
Read Eat With Parents in full here.
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Eating Disorders Poetry: Done
Done
I don't want you in my life
I don't want you in my head
You play sick mind tricks on me
While I lay awake in bed
You convince me that I'm ugly
That I'm too fat to go outside
You want me to be skinny
Even if it causes me to die
I can see through your lies now
I won't entertain your attacks
I'm not saying that it's easy
But I'm never looking back
I won't let you control me
Not like you did before
I'll decide what's right for me
And your insults will go ignored
Written by: Jessica of Periwinkle Paradise
*Check out Jessica's recovery / awareness jewelery, Periwinkle Paradise, on Etsy.
Jessica says: 10% of the purchase price of ALL Periwinkle AND Dragonfly items AND Art pieces will be donated to NEDA - the National Eating Disorders Association - the largest National non-profit for eating disorder awareness. I look forward to raising awareness about eating disorders and helping those in need through this line of Periwinkle/Dragonfly Pieces and Recovery Art and to sharing these and all of my other pieces of jewelry with you!
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This Week's R.I.S.E. : Daily "Me Time"
This week's R.I.S.E. (Recovery Inspiration Strength Exercise) is to give yourself some "Me Time" every day.
Life is hectic. It keeps us running. As we tend to our many obligations, we often put ourselves on the back burner ... quickly slipping lower and lower on our own priority list. It doesn't take long to find ourselves overwhelmed, tired, and even disheartened.
Everyone needs to recharge. Add recovery efforts to the mix and recharging takes on yet another layer of importance. We cannot be any good to anyone (including ourselves) if we're worn out and discouraged. Taking "me time" is healthy for our spirits, minds, bodies, and our recovery. It's even beneficial for those who share our daily lives.
Where can you find the time to devote to yourself when your days are already filled to the brim?
Taking time for yourself doesn't have to be an hour long obligation (but if you've got an hour, take it!).
Me time can be as simple as taking 15 (more is better) minutes to:
- sip a cup of your favorite tea, undisturbed, feet up, relaxing.
- read a few pages of a delicious book while waiting for your child to get out of (drama, band, sports) practice.
- grab some headphones and listen to your favorite music or relaxation cd while walking the dog (as long as you enjoy walking the dog).
Do not feel guilty for giving this to yourself. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. It's necessary. Like the saying goes, it's time to put yourself at the top of your own priority list.
So, just some simple ground rules:
- during me time you must let go of all the things your mind is juggling or worrying about.
- you cannot devote this time to a chore, task, or phone call that's waiting for your attention.
- let it be known to those who share your home that this time is sacred and you're not to be disturbed. They'll catch on after a few times (if you have little ones, let another adult be in charge while you are taking care of you).
- Be alone during this time. It's too easy to be distracted if you're not.
- Do this EVERY day (more than once if you can).
- Enjoy your time!
You are going to be amazed at what a difference letting go of your obligations, and giving yourself a little much need attention for a few minutes, can make in how you feel and function.
Have fun with it!
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Recovery Quote Of The Week: November 8, 2011
Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.
Unknown
*See sidebar menu for more Recovery Quotes Of The Week and Inspirational Recovery Quotes
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This Week's R.I.S.E. : Start A Gratitude Journal
This week's R.I.S.E. (Recovery Inspiration Strength Exercise) is to start a Gratitude Journal.
Let's focus on the good in our lives by recognizing and giving thanks for the many things we're grateful for.
1). At the end of each day, reflect on what you are grateful for.
No matter what is going on in our lives, there is always something
to be grateful for. What our bodies do for us, the support we
receive, getting through a difficult day, recovery, being
alive... big or small, it all matters.
2). Choose at least one thing you are grateful for. Write it down.
It can be one word or a more in depth entry. Whatever
works for you.
If you do not have a journal, don't wait to get one.
Use any paper you have and keep your entries together in one place.
3). Read your entry aloud. Do this a few times. Let it sink in.
4). Lastly, give thanks for what you are grateful for.
Keeping a Gratitude Journal is an exercise in positivity. It reminds us that no matter how difficult our lives may be, there is also good in our lives, too. Your journal will be there to reread when you need a reminder or to lift your spirits.
*See sidebar for more R.I.S.E.
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The Emotional & Physical Benefits Of Smiling
Did you know that smiling has both emotional and physical health benefits? It does!
We are blessed from from the moment we are born. We come equipped with the ability to smile at birth. It's true, we are all born already knowing how to smile.
When the zygomaticus major muscles in our cheeks contract, the corners of the mouth are drawn up into a smile. But what else is happening when we smile?
Better Than Chocolate
Researchers at The British Dental Health Foundation revealed that after participants were shown pictures of smiling people, their brain and heart activity was equivalent to being given the stimulation of 2,000 Chocolate bars.
Ups Your Serotonin
Serotonin is a vital component of the regulation of mood, sleep, appetite, and sexuality. The biological connection to elements of happiness in the production of Serotonin is evident. It's a two way street... good sleep, good mood, good food, and good sex will up your Serotonin production.
Smiling is a Natural Drug
Studies show that endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin are released when we smile. Together these make us feel good. Just like how exercise releases endorphins, smiling does, too. Try smiling 50 times right in row for a good boost.
Lowers Blood Pressure
Studies confirm that when you smile, your blood pressure is reduced. Smiling and laughing regularly can make a measurable difference.
Helps To Relieve Stress
Stress causes many physical reactions including an increase in blood sugar levels, disturbs the natural function of the digestive system, pulse rate increases substantially, breathing becomes faster and our breaths are more shallow.
Smiling and slowing your breathing can keep the stress from increasing and help reduce it. It's those glorious endorphins again... the feel good neurotransmitters.
Changes Our Mood & Increases Our Happiness
The British Dental Health Foundation conducted a study that showed the act of smiling dramatically improved mood. It increases happiness not only in ourselves but in those around us. Endorphins come into play here, too. Smiling tricks your mood into being more positive (faking does this, too) because the muscles we use to smile ties into how the how the brain assesses mood.
There's a theory called Facial Feedback Hypothesis that suggests that our expressions can actually intensify our feelings.
Increases Longevity
While happiness comes at every age, the smiles of our golden years can actually improve longevity. A study, published in General Psychiatry, consisting of participants over the age of 65, concluded that those optimists were 71% less likely to die from certain causes, in contrast to pessimists.
Smiles Are Contagious
Really! Scientific studies have shown that people have a difficult time maintaining a frown when those around them were smiling. Their bodies react, their facial muscles twitching into smiles of their own. It actually takes more effort and muscles to frown.
We Are Drawn To Those That Smile
There's an attraction that happens when we see a smiling, happy, face. The smile draws us in. We want to get to know the smiler. We want share in the good feelings they possess.
A Smile Is The Best Makeup
A research study by Orbit Complete discovered that a whopping 69% of people find a makeup-free, smiling face more attractive than a makeup-wearing, non-smiling one. Another benefit of smiling is that it exercises the face, using between 5 and 53 facial muscles, helping to prevent sagging, droopy skin.
Smiling Changes Our Tone Of Voice
When we smile we project a more welcoming, warmer tone to those that are listening. Our voices convey that feeling, even if the person we're talking to cannot see us. Smiling while talking on the phone ensures a more positive and happier conversation.
We Even Benefit From A Stranger's Smile
That warm and contagious smile someone bestowed upon us actually carries over into our daily interactions with others. How's that for powerful, positive interaction?
Smiling Can Help You In Court
Smiling certainly isn't always appropriate in a courtroom setting, but when it is you may end up with lighter penalties. It's a phenomenon known as The Smile-Leniency Effect and it has shown that judges have given lighter punishments to smilers. Several court studies have revealed that it truly happens... even if you're guilty.
Universally Recognized
Anthropologists, biologists and psychologists agree that smiles are globally recognized. It's the real, teeth baring, lifted cheek inducing, squinting eye reaction that's globally recognized as a reaction to happiness.
Size Matters
The size of your smile increases the pleasure you feel. Smiling wider than a grin reaps the most physical and emotional health benefits.
Smiling is infectious,
You can catch it like the flu.
Someone smiled at me today,
And I started smiling too.
~Unknown
So.. what are you waiting for? SMILE!!! It's good for you. It's good for your physical and emotional health... and so, in turn, it's good for your recovery.
Share the cheer and good health with friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers.
Everyone benefits when we smile.
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compiled from: http://www.organicnutrition.co.uk/articles/immune.htm
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/15-fascinating-facts-about-smiling/
http://www.livestrong.com/article/18859-health-benefits-smiling/
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/benefits-of-smiling.htm
http://web.psych.ualberta.ca/~varn/bc/Kleinke.htm
http://odyb.net/discoveries/little-known-reasons-and-benefits-of-smiling/
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This Week's R.I.S.E.: Make A Feel Good Image File
This Week's R.I.S.E. (Recovery Inspiration Strength Exercise) is to create a file of Feel Good Images.
1.) Collect images that:
*lift your spirits
*give you a warm, comforting feeling
*make you smile
*make you laugh
*inspire you
*relax you
2.) Place them in a file on your computer or a file folder at home.
3.) View them several times a day.
4.) Choose a favorite or two to carry with you.
5.) Hang one on your computer at your desk at work or at home (or make a collage).
6.) Enjoy them, absorb the good feelings your images give you.
Choose images that do not relate to personal appearance, weight or body size.
You can find images online, magazines, your own personal photos, or doodle/draw your own
*There are many images that are available for download that are free for personal, noncommercial use. Please comply with copyright laws when collecting your images.
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1.) Collect images that:
*lift your spirits
*give you a warm, comforting feeling
*make you smile
*make you laugh
*inspire you
*relax you
2.) Place them in a file on your computer or a file folder at home.
3.) View them several times a day.
4.) Choose a favorite or two to carry with you.
5.) Hang one on your computer at your desk at work or at home (or make a collage).
6.) Enjoy them, absorb the good feelings your images give you.
Choose images that do not relate to personal appearance, weight or body size.
You can find images online, magazines, your own personal photos, or doodle/draw your own
*There are many images that are available for download that are free for personal, noncommercial use. Please comply with copyright laws when collecting your images.
Click the sidebar icon for more R.I.S.E.
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Recovery Quote Of The Week: October 25, 2011
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. .... Beautiful people don't just happen.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
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Dove Self-Esteem Weekend 2011
Self-Esteem:
noun
a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
dictionary.comPositive Self-Esteem is essential to a happy, healthy life. It gives us the ability to adapt, grow, cope, and survive. It allows us to successfully navigate the frustrations, difficulties, and problems that we will inevitably be faced with along the way.
Parents are crucial to a child’s positive sense of self. A parent’s role is to provide stability, security, and love so children will flourish and grow to be self-confident, responsible, and capable. It is of great importance that parents are role models who display a positive view of self so the child will learn by example.
Self-esteem isn’t arrogant, self absorbed, or narcissistic. It’s a healthy understanding of who you are. It is liking yourself for who you are.
When a child (or adult) has a positive self-concept they are empowered, and protected. Understanding yourself, your beliefs, strengths, and even weaknesses, strengthens a child’s ability to understand, withstand, cope, and handle difficult situations and decisions...
Fostering Positive Self-Esteem In Children
Dove:
Share who inspired you and why.
Check out Dove's Toolkits and Resources:
1 on 1 Activities for Girls Aged 8-12 and 13-18
A Girl’s Guide to the Digital World—How to Log Off of Digital Drama!
Self-Esteem Guide for Moms of Girls, Ages 8–11
Self-Esteem Guide for Moms of Girls, Ages 11–16
True You! Workbook for Girls 8–12
Find a meet-up group in your area

Weighing The Facts:
Tests: How is your self-esteem?
Related Posts:
Building Self-Esteem
Self Empowerment: Inspirational Recovery Quotes
Body Image and Self-Esteem
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Feature Your Poetry and Writings on Weighing The Facts
Would you like to be featured here, on Weighing The Facts?
Writing is a very powerful tool for many with Eating Disorders and Body Image issues. Sharing those writings is an excellent way for others to relate and be inspired.
So many times I have been told how a submission here has struck a cord, make someone feel less alone, and inspired someone in their recovery.
Do you have original poetry/writings about your struggles, experiences, or recovery with your Eating Disorder, or Body Image? Would you like to share them with others?
Weighing The Facts would like to feature your writing so that others can relate, find support, and encouragement towards recovery.
Participation may be anonymous or credited, whichever you feel most comfortable with. Poems/writings must be your own work.
If you're interested in participating, or have any questions, just send me an email at mrsmenopausal@yahoo.com. Include your submission (as an attachment or pasted into the body of the email) and state how you would like to be credited (anonymously, a pen name, your real name, etc). I will send you an email letting you know when it has been posted.
Please check out the wonderful submissions that have already been featured here. They can be found in sidebar drop down menu.
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Love Your Body Day 2011: 5 Ways To Celebrate
It's LOVE YOUR BODY Day!
You are not defined by the reflection in your mirror. You are an amazing creation both inside and out. It's time to let go of the negative images you hold of your body and give it (and you) some much deserved love!
5 Ways to Celebrate Love Your Body Day
Use Body Positive Affirmations:
I treat my body with kindness. I make healthy choices that benefit my body. I am grateful to my body for all that it does for me. My body is worthy of my own love and respect.
My beauty cannot be defined by my physical appearance. My worth is constant and undeniable. Today I celebrate the beauty of my mind and my spirit. Today I appreciate the amazing and unique individual that I am.
I am grateful for my body. I nurture and take care of my body. I take time to appreciate my body for all the wonderful things it allows me to do. Today I treat my body with dignity and respect.
Put it in Writing:
list the wonderful things your body does for you.
list the wonderful things you will do for your body.
write love notes (encouraging and positive statements) to yourself and hang them on the bathroom mirror, the dash of your car, tuck one inside your pocket/purse.
Squash Negative Self-Talk:
Replace old negative inner talk with positive statements. Do it each time you find yourself thinking or saying something negative about your body and/or yourself. Say them with meaning. BELIEVE them. Positive self-talk brings about positive results. You'll be amazed!
Be Confident:
Forget about weight, size, and imperfections. Be confident in who you are. You are beautiful just as your are!
Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind.
Dr Seuss
Pamper Your Body and Your Mind:
Take a long, hot bath. Use scented candles, essential oils (lavender relaxes, sweet orange lifts your spirits, grapefruit energizes and cheers), or bubbles, and oils to moisturize.
Listen to your favorite music
Relax
Slip on your softest, most comfortable pjs and your old fluffy robe and settle down for the night with a book or a movie.
Give your body some extra love and appreciation today, tomorrow, and from here on out!
How are you celebrating Love You Body Day?
This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival
NOW Foundation (National Organization For Women)
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This Week's R.I.S.E. Create A Recovery Soundtrack
This week's R.I.S.E. (Recovery Inspiration Strength Exercise) is to create a soundtrack for recovery.
Music can have a profound affect on our outlook, our mood, and our enjoyment. So, let's take advantage of that...
1). Make a folder for your ipod, a playlist for your computer, or a CD for the car (whatever works best for you).
2). Fill it with music that lifts your spirit, makes you feel good, and that makes you smile.
3). Listen to it daily as you get ready in the morning, (while you eat your breakfast, drive to work, get the kids ready for school ...etc).
4). Listen to it again on the drive home, while doing chores, or whenever you can, whenever you need it.
5). Sing along, dance around, enjoy yourself!
* while you're at it, why not make one full of peaceful, calming music, or nature sounds, to listen to before bed?
Why not share your song list in the comments. You may inspire the music choices of someone else.
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Recovery Quote Of The Week: October 18, 2011
Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.
Gerald Jampolsky
More Recovery Quotes of the Week and Inspirational Recovery Quotes can be found in the sidebar menu.
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This Week's R.I.S.E.: Set The Tone Of The Day
This week's R.I.S.E. (Recovery Inspiration Strength Exercise): Set the Tone of the Day
Set your alarm clock 5 minutes earlier than usual.
Use those extra 5 minutes to set the tone for the day by ...
1. stretching slowly in bed (like a cat)
2. smiling (your body and mind respond to the physical act of smiling)
3. say at least one positive statement before leaving bed
Have a great week!
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Inspirational Recovery Quotes: Courage
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Dorothy Bernard
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
Maya Angelou
The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.
Mignon McLaughlin
Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
John Quincy Adams
It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.
Theodore Roosevelt
To him that waits all things reveal themselves, provided that he has the courage not to deny, in the darkness, what he has seen in the light.
Coventry Patmore
Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.
Maya Angelou
Courage can't see around corners, but goes around them anyway.
Mignon McLaughlin
The key to change... is to let go of fear.
Rosanne Cash
Everyday courage has few witnesses. But yours is no less noble because no drum beats for you and no crowds shout your name.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
Christopher Robin to Pooh
Milne
The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.
Corra May Harris
Come to the edge.
We can't. We're afraid.
Come to the edge.
We can't. We will fall!
Come to the edge.
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire
Courage is never to let your actions be influenced by your fears.
Arthur Koestler
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
William Shakespeare
Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway.
Robert Anthony
Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.
Raymond Lindquist
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
Bruce Lee
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
Anais Nin
Fear and courage are brothers.
Proverb
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Courage is to feel the daily daggers of relentless steel and keep on living.
Douglas Malloch
Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.
August Wilson
Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.
George Smith Patton
You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
Aristotle
Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, “Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do.”
Unknown
Optimism is the foundation of courage.
Nicholas Murray Butler
Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
Winston Churchill
Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts.
John Wooden
You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway.
John Wayne
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.
Mary Anne Radmacher
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
E. E. Cummings
If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.
Jesse Jackson
All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.
Earl Nightingale
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney
A brave arm makes a short sword long.
Unknown
Courage is as often the outcome of despair as of hope; in the one case we have nothing to lose, in the other everything to gain.
Diane de Poitiers
People are made of flesh and blood and a miracle fiber called courage.
Mignon McLaughlin
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Winston Churchill
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.
Mark Victor Hansen
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
Nelson Mandela
The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.
Sven Goran Eriksson
Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising, which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
Vincent Van Gogh
One man with courage is a majority.
Thomas Jefferson
Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed.
Dale Carnegie
Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.
Amelia Earhart
Have the courage to act instead of react.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
Albert Einstein
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.
John F. Kennedy
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
Winston Churchill
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
Dan Rather
Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.
Victor Hugo
We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others.
Winston Churchill
Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.
W. Clement Stone
Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
C. S. Lewis
You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
Aristotle
Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Courage is the greatest of all virtues, because if you haven't courage, you may not have an opportunity to use any of the others.
Samuel Johnson
You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.
Epicurus
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World Mental Health Day 2011: Links and Information
Links:
Mental Health Statistics
Children's Mental Health Statistics and Information
Mental Health Resources: Hotlines, Websites, Organizations
MHA (Mental Health America)
Finding Help
Finding Treatment
Parity Laws
FAQS
US Dept Of Health And Human Services
Children and Families
Organizations and Financing
Resources
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)
Eating Disorders
Bipolar Disorder
Major Depression
Schizophrenia
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
More: By Illness
Find Support
National Institute Of Mental Health
Outreach Partnership Program
Statistics
Prescription Assistance Programs
Needy Meds
RX Assist
Partnership For Prescription Assistance
NAMI Prescription Assistance Programs
Merck Programs For Those In Need
The Access Project
Disability Resources Org
GlaxoSmithKline (GSK)
MHA Prescription Payment Assistance
Additional Links:
Mental Health Resources By State
Mental Health Matters
Mental Health Resources On The Web For Families (PDF)
National Mental Health Consumers' Self-Help Clearinghouse
When You Can't Afford Treatment
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Recovery Quote Of The Week: October 8th, 2011
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
Will Rogers
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R.I.S.E. Recovery Inspiration Strength Exercise
R.I.S.E.
R.I.S.E. (Recovery Inspiration Strength Exercises) are activities meant to give a little positive boost to self-esteem, body image, and self-talk to help strengthen recovery efforts.
Each week a simple and easy activity will be listed in the sidebar marquee (located below the morning and bedtime affirmations. Previous R.I.S.E can be found by clicking the icon in the sidebar).
I hope you find them helpful.
This Week's R.I.S.E.
1. Write down your favorite positive affirmation on paper or index cards. Make it something that you really need to hear. Make several of them.
2. Put them where you'll see them often (suggestions: bathroom mirror, dash of your car, over your bed, the door use use to leave the house, in your purse to read whenever you need it).
3. Each time you see it take a moment to read it, say it aloud, mean it! Choose just one or two affirmations, duplicated on your index cards, one per card (or paper).
4. Believe!
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Numerically Speaking: An Eating Disorder By The Numbers
Numerically Speaking
By Carrie M. O’Connor
Two.
Pounds of dark chocolate that I ate slowly that Saturday morning while analyzing the e-vite that my ex-boyfriend, Andre, sent me.
Forty.
The pounds gained since I last saw him six months ago.
Five.
The ex-girlfriends on the 50-person invitation list.
After the last piece, I dialed my friend, Mattie.
“I’ve been invited to Andre’s 50th birthday party slash housewarming. His artist colony now has 15 members and is officially open to all lost Cincinnati artists with angst who need guidance and inspiration. And he’s invited several ex-girlfriends. But why am I surprised? They are ever-present.”
“Calm down. Stop talking so fast. Are you going?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I know a good many of these artists socially. I really should go. According to the e-vite, the colony is now on Facebook and in the local news. He’s become a celebrity.”
“Well, Jenn, we always knew he was a player. And you know how the song goes. Players only love you when they’re playing. How about we meet up to talk more about this? I’m meeting Jackie at Essencha Teahouse in half an hour. Bring your laptop.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you soon.”
I stared at the e-vite again. I frowned at the photo of the Bella Roma rose bushes blooming against the side of the white duplex. I remembered, with regret, transplanting those delicate pink blossoms three years ago. This followed the exhausting task of cleaning Andre’s former house the day after I helped him move. When I’d arrived home, I’d spent 30 minutes in the hot shower, trying to wash away the smells of Ajax, manure and sweat.
At that point, we had been going out for two months. We met at a gallery opening where he promptly invited me out for coffee, a discussion of postmodern art in Pakistan, and sex.
Sixty
Pounds that I had just lost before meeting him that summer.
Ten
Years, prior to Andre, that I had a sex partner, because I felt ashamed of my body.
Three
Dates before I went to bed with him.
The connection was insanely intense, despite the continual mention of his former girlfriends. I allowed him to speak the litany of names. Each time, a jealous fire burned through me.
There were
Six
Girlfriends whom I know about.
1. Alice. “The night before Alice moved out, she walked into the kitchen in a T-shirt without panties. I rubbed her ass, and she just melted.”
2. Jana. “Jana couldn’t achieve orgasms because of her medication.”
3. Wendy. “Wendy wouldn’t let me perform oral sex on her — you’d be surprised how often that is the case.”
4. Suzette. “Suzette was my 4-foot-10 Catholic girlfriend. She got completely drunk at the first party I took her to. But we stayed together for a couple years.”
5. Laura. “Then, the investment banker, who spoke beautiful Spanish.”
6. Stella. “Stella, the book agent. It just didn’t work out. That reminds me, I need to dig a rock out of her garden for her.”
Every time a name was mentioned, I put down the feminist theory book I was reading. While I wanted to be a strong, self-sufficient, empowered woman, I was determined to make him want me.
Twenty
The pounds that I lost while I dated him, to tack onto the 60 previous pounds I took off before meeting him, thanks to Weight Watchers.
Five Hundred
Dollars on clothes and pedicures to make myself alluring.
Three Hundred
Dollars in gifts for him. He liked gadgets. I found the self-cleaning electric shaver, the crepe pan from Crate and Barrel, the juicer.
Two weeks after I helped him move, over wine and vegetarian sushi in Ault Park, he told me that he had not felt any emotional connection during our two-month romance.
I protested.
“We’ve only been going out two months, and you’ve been working on your artist colony. Of course there’s no emotional connection. We’ve barely had time for one another.”
“Look, I want dazzling chemistry,” he’d said.
It was true that he’d had a singles ad once that said he was looking for a woman that would be like the refreshing river bank that he would never leave. I wondered what Freud or Jung would make of the flowing water image.
“I’ve seen a lot of growth in you the last two months, though. You know, in your weight and sexuality. Really, I just want to be your friend,” he said.
Looking at the park’s peonies and iris plants, I unapologetically cried.
“So, do you want to go see a movie?” he asked.
“You just dumped me!”
“Well, I do like to stay friends with all my ex-girlfriends. I’ve traveled with two of them. Slept with them in the same hotel bed with nothing happening.”
A few weeks later he called and invited me over. He proposed the friends-with-benefits clause to the newly-instated friend contract. I don’t want to be your boyfriend. But you know what I like and I know what you like. And if someone else comes along, we will stop seeing each other.
It was compelling. Perhaps I would be finally praiseworthy and redeemed in his sight.
Ten
Minutes before we were in his bedroom.
Three
Nights a month, on the average.
Two
Years before I ended it.
Sex. Silence. Sex. Silence.
I couldn’t take the silence.
I pushed the memories away and focused on getting dressed for the teahouse. I looked in the full-length mirror. I had on my standard attire — jeans, a black T-shirt, and a strand of faux pearls. At 40, I probably should have cared about makeup, but I didn’t. I slicked my hair back into a tight chignon.
I threw a bracelet at the mirror in frustration. I hated my body. I wanted to apply a paring knife to my pear-shaped body. The e-vite only renewed my discomfort with my body image. I tried to comfort myself with the fact that the corticosteroid medication I took for my adrenal problems caused weight gain.
The drive to Essenchia Teahouse and Pleasant Ridge was anything but agreeable. It was a fiercely raining day. No one was on the street except a group of Orthodox Jewish men dressed in black going to morning shul and walking on the left. The scene had a Renoir feel to it, and “The Umbrellas” came to mind. I realized that I really missed discussing art with Andre.
When I entered the teahouse, I found Mattie and Jackie sitting at a large table near a shelf displaying glass cups and white tea pots. I put my netbook down.
“I’ll have a house salad, no dressing, and iced China-breakfast tea, please,” I said to the slim server, noting with envy she was wearing a tiny, white linen Edwardian camisole, which complemented her figure perfectly.
“Only a salad?” Mattie asked, sipping her Earl Grey with lemon.
“Yes. Unfortunately, I had a date with chocolate this morning,” I said.
“Oh, dear,” said Jackie, my psychologist friend. “Just eating, right?”
She was delicately trying to ask if I had purged, as well.
“You know my M.O. I just eat. And get fatter. I can’t stop binging, but I hate how I look.”
“You are on fat-inducing meds, too, Jennifer,” Mattie said, in a comforting tone.
“Yeah, but we all know what the issues really are here. Anyway, I’m back in diet mode,” I said.
“Ah, restricting after binging. Really healthy,” Jackie said.
“I feel like I have to do something. We all know how obsessed with weight Andre is. He weighs himself every day and graphs it. He’s an obsessed athlete who hates fat,” I said.
“You’re curvy,” Mattie said.
“Fat. And in need of a butt bra. He likes slender women with nice asses.”
“They do sell lifters now. And padded panties. Quite the fashion,” Mattie said.
“Please, enough body talk,” Jackie said.
“Easy enough for you, Miss Size 2,” I said.
“So, let’s see the e-vite,” Mattie said.
I turned on the computer and promptly displayed the page.
“Nice colors considering the limited design possibilities,” Mattie said.
“And these are all the ex-girlfriends. You’ve heard about them before,” I said.
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Right. He has always been the stud wanting to scatter his seed. So, why do you want to torture yourself going to this party?” Jackie said.
“There’s still something. A connection,” I said.
I crossed my arms tightly across my chest and stared down.
“Hello? I do this for a living. I’m giving you my assessment, free of charge. He’s a narcissist. The best way to handle a narcissist is to stroke his ego and get the hell away. Stay away from him,” Jackie said.
“I think you just want to reform a bad boy,” said Mattie, who had just broken off a romance with a kinky painter who liked to be tied up with silk scarves.
“I don’t think this guy can be reformed unless he hits the therapy couch. And I’ll bet you anything that he won’t. Don’t go to this party,” Jackie said.
“I’ll think about it. I guess part of it is that I’m curious about the new place, too,” I said.
“That’s an entirely different issue. Believe me, you date him, you date the whole colony. It’s worse than college. He needs that colony to feel good about himself. He likes to have people admiring him,” Jackie said.
“And Lord knows, his women have. Anyway, no one is even curious? No one wants to see this experiment?” I asked.
“No thanks,” Mattie said.
The food arrived: cold smoked salmon sandwiches, lemon curd crepes, leafy greens, triple-chocolate brownies. The conversation shifted to the mundane — removing pet stains from the carpet, intrusive mothers, summer vacation plans. An hour passed, and the server cleared the table.
I thought about all the eateries Andre and I had visited. Italian, Ethiopian, Mexican, vegetarian. We would go home and watch DVDs. I liked foreign; he liked action. We took turns ordering on the Netflix account. We would begin making out the minute the credits hit the screen.
We finished the meal and paid the check.
“Well, I’ll be around next weekend, if you change your mind about the party,” Jackie said.
“Thanks,” I said, suddenly grateful for my friends.
Mattie and Jackie stayed and walked around the teahouse to look at the tea cups on sale. I walked outside and found that the rain had stopped. I steered my car toward the mall and Lane Bryant, which sold fashionable clothes for the woman who reached the unbearable size of 14 and above. I perused the racks and found a pretty chiffon blue halter dress. Andre liked blue. Elastic waist. Perfect. I took it to the counter and dropped $100 that I really could not spend and went home.
When I got home, the light on the answering machine was blinking.
“Jenn, it’s Andre. Just wanted to say that I hope that you can make the party. Should be a lot of fun.”
I smiled instantly. He still thought of me. Getting out the phone book, I found the number for A Salon Named Desire and set a makeup appointment for the morning of the party.
That week, I ate hard-boiled eggs, cottage cheese, grapefruit, lean meat and Diet Coke. This was the first diet that my mother gave me, when I was 14. I spent an hour in the gym every night leading up to the party.
Finally, it was Friday. I took an Ambien at night, because I was too nervous to sleep. Nestled against the white cotton down pillows, I fell asleep quickly.
Bon fires everywhere against the Irish countryside. Everyone has had their fill of ale and game. We have all been smudged and purified with juniper smoke. Andre’s ex-girlfriends and I are dancing like MTV stars around him. I walk forward and bow. “Thank you for choosing me, though I know that I am not great like the others you have chosen.” He cups his hands around my chin and smiles. He walks around the circle, kissing each woman on the cheek.
I woke up with pain in my chest. Sebastian, my 18-pound cat, stood on my torso and demanded in loud, hoarse meows to be fed. The vet wants him on a diet, too. The red numbers on the digital alarm clock told me that it was 9 a.m. I meant to get up earlier.
After preparing a strong cup of coffee, I bathed and put the halter dress on. The phone rang.
“Jenn, it’s Nat. I hope you’re coming? I haven’t seen you in ages, and I want to introduce you to my new boyfriend.”
Natalie, a print maker, had gone out on double dates with Andre and me. I always hated double dating with Andre. I felt like I needed to win the approval of his friends, so dinner was never enjoyable.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Wonderful.”
I drove to A Salon Named Desire to have my makeup done. My stomach shifted uneasily as I imagined the dialogue that I would have with Andre and others. When I got to stop signs, I practiced smiling into the mirror.
“I need to look great for a party this morning,” I explained to the young girl at the salon who called herself Zella. She had tattoos depicting jungle plants and birds around both arms. Her nose was pierced.
“I’m going to use the moss green and lemon yellow. I think these will really make your eyes pop,” she said.
“I really need to impress an old boyfriend,” I said.
“And you will!” she said.
Thirty
Dollars for the makeup job.
Fifty
Dollars for two eyeshadow palettes.
Sixty
Minutes to be transformed into beauty.
My confidence was restored as I drove downtown listening to Pink. The rain was starting again, but I didn’t care. Andre would have to move his party inside. I turned the corner and slammed on the breaks. Cars were lined up on both sides of the road.
A man lay on the ground, his motorcycle on its side half a block ahead. I pulled over to the side. I walked over to the scene where a thick crowd was starting to gather.
“He’s in some kind of a seizure. He just came right off the bike,” a woman with a red cap said.
“Is there someone here with medical knowledge?” a voice asked.
“I’ve called 911,” an older woman with short gray hair called.
I stared at the 1980 Wide-Glide motorcycle and at the motorcyclist with his black helmet and boots. My heart started to race. I had no feeling below my knees. Heat gathered around my head. Sweat began to pour from my forehead. I kept pushing the droplets away.
“Are you all right, dear?” the older woman asked me.
“Fine. I’m just going to sit in my car.”
When I got inside, I locked all the doors. And breathed deeply. I didn’t like motorcycles.
Eighteen
Years ago, three guys on Harleys raped me and my two friends.
Three
Weeks later I determined that I was pregnant.
Two
Months later I had an abortion.
We kept silent because drunk girls partying with bad boys do.
I can’t handle the silence.
The police and medical personnel arrived to assist the injured cyclist. The sirens cut through me. I looked at the clock. I was completely numb and unaware of time. After the police let us leave the accident scene, I stopped by the nearest convenience store.
Twenty-five
Hostess cupcakes were unraveled and popped into my mouth within minutes.
One
Quart of milk helped me wash them down.
Thirty
Minutes later, I arrived at the intake area of the Eating Disorders Unit at Rogers Memorial Hospital.
A rail-thin girl sat to the side, rocking back and forth. Desperate Housewives blasted from the flat-screen TV on the wall. Somehow, this broadcasted display of dysfunction seemed appropriate. The nurse who handled my case finally called me into a room to interview me. She was three times my size. So much for your corporate wellness program, I thought.
“When was your last binge?” she asked, writing notes in a file across the table.
“Today.”
“And it was?”
“Twenty-five cupcakes.”
The other questions were fired off in succession. Year of first menses. Date of last menses. Intervals of binging. Lowest weight. Highest weight. Present weight. Height. Telephone numbers of doctors, relatives, employers, insurance companies.
Intake registered me in the outpatient program. I started the next day.
Four
Hours with therapists and dieticians.
Three
Times a week.
Three Hundred and Thirty
Dollars a day.
I put it on my credit card.
After three months, I went a week without binging. I stopped calling Andre. I only stole looks at his Facebook page on occasion. And I gathered my best friends to tell them about my past.
I broke the silence.
Carrie M. O'Connor earned a master of arts in journalism and communications from Marquette University. She has worked as a reporter and freelance writer in Honolulu and Milwaukee. Recently, she was a guest essayist on WUWM and the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Her fiction has appeared in Bamboo Ridge, Bartleby Snopes and Auscult, a literary journal of the Medical College of Wisconsin. You can read more from Carrie at her blog, Heartland Living on a Budget http://www.heartlandlivingonabudget.com
This piece was published in Wild Violet literary magazine in September, 2011.*See sidebar menu for Eating Disorders and Body Image submissions.
Picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/aschultz/3341941595/sizes/l/in/photostream/
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Labels:
anorexia stories,
binge stories,
body image poetry,
bulimia stories,
Carrie M. O'Connor,
CED eating disorder poetry,
eating disorders stories,
ED recovery,
EDNOS stories,
women's body image stories
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