ASAM Now Defines Addiction As Brain Disorder























Addiction receives a new definition:

MSNBC
Addiction is a chronic brain disorder and not simply a behavior problem involving alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex, experts contend in a new definition of addiction, one that is not solely related to problematic substance abuse.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) just released this new definition of addiction after a four-year process involving more than 80 experts.

"At its core, addiction isn't just a social problem or a moral problem or a criminal problem. It's a brain problem whose behaviors manifest in all these other areas," said Dr. Michael Miller, past president of ASAM who oversaw the development of the new definition. "Many behaviors driven by addiction are real problems and sometimes criminal acts. But the disease is about brains, not drugs. It's about underlying neurology, not outward actions."

The new definition also describes addiction as a primary disease, meaning that it's not the result of other causes, such as emotional or psychiatric problems...

Read Addiction / Brain Disorder in full.

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Inspirational Recovery Quotes: Change


If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got.
W. L. Bateman

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr

They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
Andy Warhol

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.
Barbara de Angelis

 The key to change... is to let go of fear.
Rosanne Cash

 You can't punish yourself into change. You can't whip yourself into shape. But you can love yourself into well-being.
Susan Skye

The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become.
William Edward Burghardt DuBois

He that never changes his opinions, never corrects his mistakes, and will never be wiser on the morrow than he is today.
Tryon Edwards

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.
Alice Walker

Without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day; of course, you achieve quite a lot in the course of time. Anyone can do this, it costs nothing and is certainly very helpful. Whoever doesn't know it must learn and find by experience that a quiet conscience makes one strong.
Anne Frank

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
Abraham Lincoln

It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years -- we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.
Sharon Salzberg 

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Gandhi

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
Pauline R. Kezer

Our only security is our ability to change.
John Lilly

Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.
Keri Russell

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
Flora Whittemore

The price of doing the same old thing is far higher than the price of change.
Bill Clinton

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
Unknown

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
Harrison Ford

The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
Colin Wilson

To change one's life, start immediately, do it flamboyantly, no exceptions.
William James

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
Maria Robinson

Things do not change; we change.
Henry David Thoreau

There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.
Winston Churchill

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France

The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.
Japanese Proverb

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Confucius

Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.
Anne Wilson Schaef

What man actually needs is not a tension-less state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.
Viktor Frankl

Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.
Reinhold Niebuhr

I can be changed by what happens to me, but i refuse to be reduced by it.
Maya Angelou

Sometimes its the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.
Keri Russell

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.
M. Scott Peck

If there is no struggle, there is no progress.
Frederick Douglass

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
Richard Bach

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

Every beginning is a consequence - every beginning ends some thing.
Paul Valery

Relentless, repetitive self talk is what changes our self-image.
Denis Waitley

To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.
Henri Bergson

The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.
Gloria Steinem

So long as a person is capable of self-renewal they are a living being.
Henri-Frederic Amiel

There is a danger of changing too much in the search for perfection.
Agnetha Faltskog

What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.
Mignon McLaughlin

You may wonder, 'How can I leave it all behind if I am just coming back to it? How can I make a new beginning if I simply return to the old?' The answer lies in the return. You will not come back to the 'same old thing.' What you return to has changed because you have changed. Your perceptions will be altered. You will not incorporate into the same body, status, or world you left behind. The river has been flowing while you were gone. Now it does not look like the same river.
Steven Foster

Learn wisdom from the ways of a seedling. A seedling which is never hardened off through stressful situations will never become a strong productive plant.
Stephen Sigmund

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
Alan Watts

It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.
Marilyn Ferguson

If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained. Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.
Saint Augustine

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
Aldous Huxley

Change always comes bearing gifts.
Price Pritchett

If you don't create change, change will create you.
Unknown

A lot of people get impatient with the pace of change.
James Levine

Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Mark Twain

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
Lao Tzu

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
Arnold Bennett

Change brings opportunity.
Nido Qubein

If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.
Michael Jordan

To change your life, you need to change your priorities.
John C. Maxwell

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
Margaret Mead

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
Gail Sheehy

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Harriet Tubman

Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.
Bruce Barton

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis

If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself.
Norman Vincent Peale

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.
Ivy Baker Priest

Never doubt that you can change history. You already have.
Marge Piercy

Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make us easy to live with.
Peter Marshall

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
Lao Tzu

We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
Charles R. Swindoll

Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.
Dean Acheson

Nothing that is can pause or stay;
The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
The rain to mist and cloud again,
Tomorrow be today.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.
G.C. Lichtenberg

If we fall, we don't need self-recrimination or blame or anger - we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to re-commit, to be whole-hearted once again.
Sharon Salzberg

People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.
Eleanor Roosevelt

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
Ellen Glasgow

Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
Unknown

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.
Hafiz of Persia

Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly.
Francis Bacon

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
Shakespeare

Life is a progress, and not a station.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

We seek not rest but transformation. We are dancing through each other as doorways.
Marge Piercy

Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.
Arthur Schopenhauer

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
Carl Rogers

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin


*See sidebar menu for more Inspirational Recovery Quotes and Recovery Quotes of the Week.


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Recovery Quote Of The Week: August 11, 2011

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
Pauline R. Kezer



*See sidebar menu for more Recovery Quotes Of The Week and Inspirational Recovery Quotes 


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Be Body Positive Day 2011 is Right Around the Corner


Bombarded by images and messages from the media, and society in general, women are faced with often impossible standards to hold ourselves and our bodies to.

April 7th, 2011 welcomes the second annual Be Body Positive Day. It's all about loving yourself, loving your body, and seeking healthy pleasures. It's your right! 


The event is the creation of the non-profit organization,  
The Body Positive: 
The Body Positive is a community of women and girls who support each other in laying down the burdens of judgment, comparison, and shame. We include ourselves—and all women—in our definition of beauty because we believe that soul expression and life force are the qualities that make a woman truly attractive. We have chosen to pursue joyful healthy lives with a focus on purposeful living.


So take this day to treat yourself to some extra special, self-loving activities and appreciate yourself and all women, everywhere.

Do at least one thing that makes you feel great about your body! 


Ideas to help celebrate Be Body Positive Day:
  • Write yourself a love letter.
  • Go for a walk along the beach, in the woods, or somewhere you love, and take notice of all the beauty around you. Bring your camera with you!
  • Take your favorite book into the tub and have a long soak. 
  • Squelch those negative thoughts and replace them with positive, self-appreciative ones.
  • Journal about how wonderful your body is.
  • Remind yourself how grateful you are to be you.

 What are you going to do to celebrate Be Body Positive Day?



Connect with The Body Positive: 
Org  
Facebook
Twitter



picsource:http://www.flickr.com/photos/luder5/4223909842/

Eating Disorders: Music For Recovery



Recover by Natasha Bedingfield
Video by beeyout

At the end of the video is a "recovering" photo from the post Dear Eating Disorder, Take this job and shove...   that you may be interested in reading. 



*See sidebar menus for more ED and Body Image videos. 

Inspirational Recovery Quotes: Joy



Joy is prayer - Joy is strength - Joy is love - Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.  
Mother Teresa 

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.
Henri Nouwen


Allow yourself to trust joy and embrace it. You will find you dance with everything.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


 The certain pathway to all things that you want is through the corridor of joy.
Abraham-Hicks
May your walls know joy; May every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility.
Maryanne Radmacher-Hershey
 
Simplicity, clarity, singleness: these are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy.
Richard Halloway
 
Joy is a return to the deep harmony of body, mind, and spirit that was yours at birth and that can be yours again. That openness to love, that capacity for wholeness with the world around you, is still within you.
Deepak Chopra 

 
Joy is not in things; it is in us.
Richard Wagner
 
A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
 
Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson.
Alan Cohen
 
Begin today. Declare out-loud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy.
Sarah Ban Breathnach
We are shaped by our thoughts, we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. 
Buddha
  
Listen to the clues. The next time you feel real joy, stop and think. Pay attention. Because joy is the universe’s way of knocking on your mind’s door. Hello in there. Is anyone home? Can I leave a message? Yes? Good! The message is that you are happy, and that means that you are in touch with your purpose.  
Steve Chandler
The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world’s joy.
Henry Ward Beecher
 
My mind to me a kingdom is, such present joys I therein find, that it excels all other bliss.
Sir Edward Dyer
I am wealth. I am abundance. I am joy.
David Cameron Gikandi
 
 
The closer you come to your core, the greater is your joy.
Torkom Saraydarin
 
The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
Jim Rohn
 
Increase your joy by doing the good you wish to have done to you.
Daisaku Ikeda
 
We learn in our guts, not just in our brain, that a life of joy is not in seeking happiness, but in experiencing and simply being the circumstances of our life as they are; not in fulfilling personal wants, but in fulfilling the needs of life…
Charlotte Jojo Beck 

 
Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it. 
Greg Anderson
 
Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God.
Madeleine L'Engle
 
 
Whatever I do is done out of sheer joy; I drop my fruits like a ripe tree. What the general reader or the critic makes of them is not my concern.
Henry Miller 

Joy, has no cost.
Marianne Williamson

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. 
Helen Keller

 The joy of a spirit is the measure of its power.
Ninon de Lenclos
 
To attract something that you want, become as joyful as you think that thing would make you.
Martha Beck


Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. 
Helen Keller 
 
When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.
Jean Shinoda Bolen


The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way.
William Blake 
 
Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.
Epicurus 

 
One joy shatters a hundred griefs.
Chinese Proverb
 
You will find joy in overcoming obstacles.
Helen Keller
 
The greatest gift you can give yourself is joy, not only because of the feeling that goes with it at the moment, but because of the magnificent experience it will draw to you. It will produce wonders in your life.
Jack Boland 


I feel like a tiny bird with a big song!
J.Van Amerongen 

Instead of asking 'How much damage will the work in question bring about?' why not ask 'How much good? How much joy?
Henry Miller
 
Joy is not the result of getting what you want; it is the way to get what you want. In the deepest sense, joy is what you want.
Alan Cohen


The only joy in the world is to begin.
Cesare Pavese
 
Love, joy and peace cannot flourish until you have freed yourself from mind dominance.
Eckhart Tolle


Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy.
Edward Chapin

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
Leo Buscaglia 
 
Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.
Marianne Williamson 
 
Only by joy and sorrow does a person know anything about themselves and their destiny. They learn what to do and what to avoid.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe 

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.
Joseph Campbell 
 
The only true measure of success is the amount of joy we are feeling.
Abraham-Hicks
 
All animals except man know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.
Samuel Butler
 
Sprinkle joy.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
Be a dynamo of irrepressible joy!
Babaji


The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.
Leonardo da Vinci 

Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path to joy.
Sarah Ban Breathnach 
 
With an eye made quiet by the power of harmony, and the deep power of joy, we see into the life of things.
William Wordsworth 
 
Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy.
Lao Tzu


Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough.
Emily Dickinson 

He who binds to himself a joy does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies lives in eternity's sun rise.
William Blake 
 
He sendeth sun, he sendeth shower, alike they’re needed to the flower; and joys and tears alike are sent to give the soul its nourishment.
Sarah Flower Adams

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.
Richard Bach 
 
From joy springs all creation, by joy it is sustained, towards joy it proceeds, and unto joy it returns.
Upanishads


Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
Erich Fromm 
 
When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity, happiness…all the good things.
Maya Angelou


 The greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.
Pema Chodron
 
 
When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.
Marianne Williamson
 
To awaken each morning with a smile brightening my face; to greet the day with reverence for the opportunities it contains; to approach my work with a clean mind; to hold ever before me, even in the doing of little things, the ultimate purpose toward which I am working; to meet men and women with laughter on my lips and love in my heart; to be gentle, kind, and courteous through all the hours; to approach the night with weariness that ever woos sleep and the joy that comes from work well done - this is how I desire to waste wisely my days.
Thomas Dekker
  
 
We laugh to survive. Then, with joy we thrive.
Mary Anne Radmacher
 


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Eating Disorders Seen Around The Web: August 2, 2011




Profile: Sam Thomas-Men Get Eating Disorders Too
The Mirror

Sam Thomas, founder and project leader at Men Get Eating Disorders Too, entered the TalkTalk Digital Heroes Award in 2010 with the aim of making more people area of the issue of eating disorders amongst men and be a port of call for those affected or worried by it. And like many of the best projects, it was one that was born from personal experience.

Sam got the idea for Men Get Eating Disorders Too from his own experience with bulimia, which he experienced during his time school: “I used to get bullied quite badly, and used to run out of lessons and hide in the boys’ toilets. I’d often binge and purge, but didn’t think too much of it; of course, as a thirteen-year-old you don’t think about eating disorders and you certainly haven’t heard of bulimia.
“When I did start looking for help, I struggled because I was male. Only once I had recovered did I think to myself ‘hang on a minute, if I was a female....
Read Men Get Eating Disorders Too in full


Sexualization of Young Children Linked to Eating Disorder Development
AOL Healthy Living

As early exposure to themes of sex becomes the norm, children of younger ages are expressing discontent with their physical appearance. Results from a recent survey suggest that children rank body image among the highest of their concerns, above both self-confidence and social life. Recent research also suggests that nearly 50 percent of females between ages 11 and 16 would consider cosmetic surgery to improve their appearance.

These findings have striking implications about the factors comprising young children's self-image and esteem. Eating disorders are now presenting in children as young as 6 years old, with dieting becoming more common among those under the age of 10.

Such ardent focus on physical appearance also comes in response to overly-sexualized messages from the media.
Read Sexualization of Young Children Linked To EDs in full


Mental Health: Eating Disorders
BBC News

Every year about 20 people in Britain die from anorexia - the eating disorder which compels them to deprive their bodies of food.

It is thought that about 165,000 Britons have some sort of eating disorder.
Most sufferers are female, although the latest evidence suggests about one in ten is now a male.
One person who developed anorexia at the relatively late age of 27 is Victoria Buchan, who lives near Grampound Road in mid Cornwall.

She admitted for a while she did her best to hide the anorexia from her doctor.
"There was always a response, always something I could hide behind," she said.
"Because of wearing baggy clothes they might not have seen I was losing weight."
Read Mental Health: Eating Disorders in full



Quick Hit: The Fat Femme’s Guide to Lovin’Summer
Happy Bodies

Aimee Fleck, a fantastic student at the Maryland Institute College of Art, made a little zine called The Fat Femme’s Guide to Loving Summer.  Inside there are interviews with some really foxy ladies, instructions on how to make friendship bracelets, a recipe for beignets, new hairstyles to try, a playlist, and lots of suggestions for great summer fashion. It’s all beautifully, colorfully drawn and very well designed, plus sassy and fun.  The zine is also getting plenty of tumblr love, which makes me really happy.
Read The Fat Femme's Guide in full


10 Questions To Ask Yourself About Anger
Hope Forward

By no means am I suggesting that the answers to the following questions are easy, readily available to you, or in any way obvious, though some may be. I think, rather, that they may serve as guide posts toward progress, relief, and insight. While anger is not always the culprit, it does often lurk underneath depression, anxiety, restlessness, discontent, or irritability. While certain angers are clear and apparent, others are more subtle. I think it pays to pay attention to them. Having anger does not mean that you are an angry person, that you have a temper; it just means that you have real feelings, some old, some new, and that tending to them may improve your life in many ways. How we feel anger, what we do with it, is usually based on a mix of genetic, hormonal, biochemical and socialcultural factors. Given that, we can ask ourselves the following questions in our quest to feel better.

1) How was anger expressed or suppressed in my family?

2) What are my earliest memories of feeling angry? With whom? For what? What other feelings do these memories bring up?
Read 10 Questions in full


Genetics Complicate Recovery From Eating Disorders
Psych Central

Sadly, people with eating disorders often face a long-term battle. Those with anorexia nervosa, for instance, are often severely underweight and have a high likelihood of dying from malnutrition.

Now, a new study sheds light on why some people have poor outcomes.

An international team of scientists has identified possible genetic variations that could influence a patient’s recovery from an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. Researchers believe their findings may augment development of effective interventions for the most treatment-resistant patients with these disorders.
Read Genetics Complicate Recovery in full


Recovery Quote Of The Week: July 29 2011


Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.
Henri Nouwen



*See sidebar drop down menus for more Recovery Quotes Of The Week & Inspirational Recovery Quotes



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Body-Positive Billboards Make Debut In Utah



 The nations first non-profit body-positive billboards are now gracing the roadsides of Utah!

Identical twins, Lindsay and Lexie Kite, creators of Beauty Redefined, are on a mission to take back beauty by helping girls, and women, recognize and reject the negative messages about body image and beauty. 


"...we hope these billboards will provide a reminder for people of all ages that women are worth more than the sum of their parts. Women are capable of much more than being looked at. There is more to be than eye candy. If beauty hurts, we’re doing it wrong. And your reflection does NOT define your worth."


From their site: " Profit-driven media, hand in hand with the multi-billion-dollar beauty and weight loss industries, rely on us believing a lie. The lie tells us beauty comes in one form that anyone can attain with enough money, time and effort. It tells us that women who don’t fit the ideal are doomed to be undesirable and unhappy. This sinister lie that female worth is dependent upon appearance is incredibly successful, but now that we recognize we’re in a battle for women’s worth and well being, we can actually start to defend ourselves!"


I'm so excited about these billboards.  WTG, ladies!

 You can find out more and donate here. 

pics courtesy of Beauty Redefined

Recovery Poetry: I Lie Still, Listening

I Lie Still, Listening

I woke
and in the barely-there light of the new day
I felt it
a faint tug
a softly whispered promise
and taken with the newness of it
I lie still, listening

sweet of words
warmed with hope
and tender encouragement
it spoke to me
of possibilities
and self-love
and recovery

gently it coaxed
comforting and strong
and in the barely-there light of the new day
I listened
to a softly whispered promise
and finally...

I believed.

written by: Emmy M.





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RECOVERY: Fostering Positive Self-Esteem In Children


Positive Self-Esteem is essential to a happy, healthy life. It gives us the ability to adapt, grow, cope, and survive. It allows us to successfully navigate the frustrations, difficulties, and problems that we will inevitably be faced with along the way. 

Parents are crucial to a child’s positive sense of self.  A parent’s role is to provide stability, security, and love so children will flourish and grow to be self-confident, responsible, and capable. It is of great importance that parents are role models who display a positive view of self so the child will learn by example.

Self-esteem isn’t arrogant, self absorbed, or narcissistic. It’s a healthy understanding of who you are. It is liking yourself for who you are.

When a child (or adult) has a positive self-concept they are empowered, and protected.  Understanding yourself, your beliefs, strengths, and even weaknesses, strengthens a child’s ability to understand, withstand, cope, and handle difficult situations and decisions.

 

Self–Esteem = our self-perceptions

       How we define ourselves - which influences:


·      Motivation

·      Attitude

·      Behavior

·      Emotional adjustment

·      Fluctuates as kids grow


What affects a child’s self-esteem?
 
·      How much they feel loved, wanted, appreciated.

·      The child’s view of himself

·      His/Her sense of achievement

·      How he/she relates to others



A child with good self-esteem learns flexibility, communication, resilience, and problem solving.

These skills help the child adapt and better handle:


·      Stressful situations

·      Negative pressures

·      Conflicts with peers

·      Peer pressure


 A child with low self-esteem will experience: 
·      Difficulty finding solutions to problems

·      Passiveness

·      Withdrawal

·      Depression

·      Fearful of challenges

Patterns of Self-Esteem start early in life.


·      Reaching milestones gives a sense of accomplishment

·      Continued attempts to accomplish after failed attempts teaches “can do” attitude (try, fail, try, fail, try again, succeed. This helps develop positive ideas about their capabilities)

·      Success follows persistence


Parental Involvement = accurate, healthy self-perceptions


·      Feel loved.  

·      Feel capable

·      Feel appreciated (by parents and others)

·      Feel confident in decision making

·      Feel independent

·      Feel that they heard

·      Feel their opinions count

·      Feel encouragement

·      Develop mutual respect

·      Feel successful


Warning signs of Unhealthy Self-Esteem


·      Hesitant to try new things

·      Frequently speaks negatively about self

·      Easily frustrated

·      Gives up self power easily

·      Looks for someone else to take over/lead

·      View temporary situations and set backs as permanent

·      Pessimistic

·      Behavioral problems



Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem


·      Easily interacts with others

·      Enjoy others. Is comfortable in social situations

·      Can separate self from disappointments

·      Can ask for help and admit they don’t understand something

·      Knows and accept their strengths and weaknesses.

·      Optimistic

·      Sense of identity

·      Independence

·      Motivation

·      Persistance


What Parents Can Do


·      Love, unconditionally

·      Start from the time they are born to make them feel safe, secure, loved, and valued.

·      Mind your words. Kids are sensitive to what parents say.

·      Praise your child for both efforts and for jobs well done.

·      Praise frequently

·      Be honest

·      Positively acknowledge their efforts and completion of tasks despite the outcome.

·      Be a role model. Nurture your own self-esteem. Watch what you say in relation to yourself. They’re listening and affected by it.

·      Help develop a healthy self-concept by helping them set more accurate standards for themselves.

·      Be affectionate. Your love will boost their self-esteem.

·      Give positive, accurate feedback.

·      Acknowledge their feelings

·      Reward positive choices (will foster right choices in the future)

·      Give them a safe, loving home environment

·      Be aware of signs of trouble outside of the home

·      Help kids get involved. (Mentoring, volunteering, helping a    younger sibling will boost self-esteem)

·      Encourage them to express themselves (both the good and the bad)

·      Teach them to respect the opinions of others and not let others disrespect them

·      Teach strategies to help them say no to things that go against their values and beliefs.

·      Make them feel special

·      Let them make mistakes

·      Encourage them

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny. 

Ryan Caffro


See also:   


©Weighing The Facts

Pic source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkpoppyimages/5894557456/sizes/l/in/photostream/

Sources: http://www.more-selfesteem.com/child_self_esteem.htm
http://extension.missouri.edu/bsf/selfesteem/index.htm